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  1. #1
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    Default Forumfall: Fiction Mayhem

    THE SERIES PREMIERE!

    FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

    Starring:

    Heroshade as Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the third

    Temet Nosce As Baron Von Nosce

    Krylas as Ozzy

    Hitom as .... stoner guy

    Bruno as himself


    EPISODE ONE

    October 14th, 2008

    Somewhere in the Arizona desert

    The massive spinning disks floated slowly down to the ground, the large green crystals in the centers of each one glowed ominously. Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Escquire the third stood at the window of the mansion he had siezed just days earlier, watching his men outside preparing for combat.

    Suddenly, Snipes broke the silence. "Something is amiss, Bruno." The disturbingly large German man looked up from his coloring book. "Daaaaaamn dude!" the voice was maniacal and dark. Snipes turned to the source of the voice. "Where the hell did you come from!? Bruno! Sieze him!"

    Bruno lunged towards the man, grabbing him and forcing his arm far behind his back. "Woah! Dude, I am so BLAZED right now, heh heh." Snipes approached him. "Who are you?"

    Meanwhile...

    Captain Tubesock paced in front of his troops barking orders at them. "I want those MGs set up five minutes ago! Get those sandbags up trooper! Private! Go find General Snipes and tell him our southern parameter is up and re-"

    There was a crash off in the distance, followed by a loud whooshing sounds. Several more followed until finally, there was a short moment of silence. There was a rumbling sound from the horizon. Finally, the troops could see their adversaries. "Get down!" Barked Tubesock. "Take smart shots and preserve your ammo! Don't let them get past this line!" The horde of strange creatures drew closer every second. "FIRE!"

    A hail of bullets tore away at the front lines of the massive hellspawn that was charging towards. "Oh my god..." Whispered the captain. "They aren't aliens. They're.... They're..... GD'ERS!" Some of the soldiers immediately broke formation and took off.

    Back in the mansion...

    "I'll only ask you this one more time." Snipes said harshly, ignoring the gunfire in the background. "Who ARE YOU!?" The man continued to look around aimlessly before spouting: "Okay, I'll talk. I'm uh.... uhhhhh.... Damn. I'mmmm.... Crap, I can't remember." He let out a goofy laugh, only to recieve a backhand to the face. "So be it."

    Snipes walked over to the desk and hit the intercom button. "Bring in Baron Von Nosce." He demanded. "Right away General Sir."

    Moments later, the sound of a door being smashed in could be heard. "Bruno," Snipes said, his eyes narrowing. "Bring me my axe."

    Meanwhile...
    WOLVERINES UNITE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mordhak View Post
    I've got a decent salve for that. If you catch my drift.
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    Normally dispensed by hand pump I'd imagine.
    Look into my dark side

  2. #2
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    I don't have a part????


    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAY.


    Quote Originally Posted by Methuselah View Post
    the filter is there for your protection
    Quote Originally Posted by Lethn View Post
    Fuck you I like having emotions and occasionally talking about girly things
    Date of Death: June 18, 2064.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by tallefred View Post
    I don't have a part????


    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAY.
    You can have one if you want, it's only the first episode. You have to post it though.
    WOLVERINES UNITE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mordhak View Post
    I've got a decent salve for that. If you catch my drift.
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    Normally dispensed by hand pump I'd imagine.
    Look into my dark side

  4. #4
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    and then the heroic Tallefred came and saved the day. The end.


    Quote Originally Posted by Methuselah View Post
    the filter is there for your protection
    Quote Originally Posted by Lethn View Post
    Fuck you I like having emotions and occasionally talking about girly things
    Date of Death: June 18, 2064.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Meanwhile...
    LOCATION: Aboard Alien ship Brokeback, holding cell I-69
    "And that is why Antonio Banderas is the sexiest actor of the 90's" Ozzy typed in the Linux computer he had stolen from the "Failed Human Inventions" section of the ship and hooked up to the Alien's internet. He closed down his blog, which had recently doubled in hits ever since he started stealing articles from Cracked.com.

    Leaving his 'computer', Ozzy turned to his bed, which was shaped in what could be called an "W", but built by a kid with downs syndrome. This made it awkward to lie in, and Ozzy often regretted letting himself be abducted by Aliens with such little understanding of the human body. Climbing under the sheets, he was just about to make himself comfortable (or as much as you can be while lying on top of a particularly sharp member of the alphabet) when his 'computer' started playing a recording of him singing along to R-Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet", signifying an email message. Groaning, he dragged himself over to the screen, and ran the message through his english translator.

    From: Leiutenent (Name untranslatable)
    Subject: Damnit, this ends now!
    Comrades, it has come to my attention that someone among us is queer. Not queer in the sense of a retired rodeo clown running a daycare, but in every other sense of the word.
    Whoever this is, all I ask of you is to please, stop streaming videos of two male Humans fornicating. If you have to see these videos, download them so that we may study their sexual organs (Our scientists have a new theory: The pole extending out from the male species acts as a conductor, and friction causes the formation of static electricity, which is why they become stiff).
    Also, it's slowing down my download of "The Notebook".
    That is all.

    Ozzy giggled and shut down the computer. The leiutenant shall never see one of the great romantic comedies of our time, he vowed. He relished the small victories.
    Last edited by Krylas; 10-16-2008 at 06:18.
    Survived the JTT epidemic 10/18/08

  6. #6
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    Someone needs to make me a part/put me in theirs...
    Perhaps a crazy rapist
    Manliest of men

  7. #7
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    Can someone tell me whether or not these walls of text are worthwhile.


    +1

  8. #8
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    tl;dr? Make it shorter!
    “Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.”


  9. #9
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    meanwhile BlackVolgan was on the moon fighting a dragon

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Layedballer View Post
    Someone needs to make me a part/put me in theirs...
    Perhaps a crazy rapist
    You can kidnap Bruno if you want :/

    Part incoming.
    WOLVERINES UNITE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mordhak View Post
    I've got a decent salve for that. If you catch my drift.
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    Normally dispensed by hand pump I'd imagine.
    Look into my dark side

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by heroshade View Post
    You can kidnap Bruno if you want :/

    Part incoming.
    I would love it
    Manliest of men

  12. #12
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    Heeeeey, don't kill Bruno! Or private Stroker. They're somewhat main characters, lol.
    WOLVERINES UNITE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mordhak View Post
    I've got a decent salve for that. If you catch my drift.
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    Normally dispensed by hand pump I'd imagine.
    Look into my dark side

  13. #13

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    I just murmaidered everyone in the story. The end.
    Pi-piru-piru-piru-pi-piru-pi-pi-piru-piru-piru-pi-piru-pi-pi-piru-pi-pi
    This'll explain everything: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL3remBDiy0
    -----------------------------------------
    I believe I did what's called making you forumfall down the stairs.-Jackhowitzer

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackhowitzer View Post
    I just murmaidered everyone in the story. The end.
    Murmaidered?
    WOLVERINES UNITE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mordhak View Post
    I've got a decent salve for that. If you catch my drift.
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    Normally dispensed by hand pump I'd imagine.
    Look into my dark side

  15. #15
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    Can I at least be a stunt double?

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