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Thread: The Joke Thread

  1. #1
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    Default The Joke Thread

    Because laughing is the greatest medicine, amirite guise?

    Post some fucking jokes.

    (A cat is fine too.)

    Zurvan is racist! :(
    Quote Originally Posted by Manifoldgodhead View Post
    Woohoo I":M DRUNK, I mean thank you for they update. I will most definably be here for release and love all over your game amazing. Thanks for spell shoelace.

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    What do you call the Ethiopian Paratrooper Brigade?



    Gone with the wind.

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    There are two fish in the tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"





    Also, there are two snowmen in an empty field, one says to the other "You're right, I do smell carrots".

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    We have to get to page 3 before we can start telling racist jokes. Once the mods have seen 2 pages of joyful innocence, they'll stop watching the thread.

    Zurvan is racist! :(
    Quote Originally Posted by Manifoldgodhead View Post
    Woohoo I":M DRUNK, I mean thank you for they update. I will most definably be here for release and love all over your game amazing. Thanks for spell shoelace.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TubeSock View Post
    We have to get to page 3 before we can start telling racist jokes. Once the mods have seen 2 pages of joyful innocence, they'll stop watching the thread.
    Ethiopian jokes aren't racist.

    If anything it's a thin joke. Give me a break...

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    when this thing is eventually locked whoever does it had better have a witty response

    (maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday this will be locked we all know it)


    Community staff are not paid employees of Aventurine. In all business our opinions are entirely our own, and do not represent official Aventurine opinions.

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    Women's Rights.



    totally original
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    I see that after failing at PvP throughout a very unfavorable beta experience, The Winterblades have decided to roleplay a PvP clan.
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    I wouldn't help her move the body.

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    It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war.
    A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, we don't have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?"

    "I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.

    He grabbed a broom, sawed off the bottom, and handed it to the solder. "Here use this instead."

    "How is this going to work?"

    "When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang'".

    So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, we don't have enough bayonets!"

    The Lieutenant grabbed a piece of string off of his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just throw this at them and say 'Stabity Stab Stab, Stab Stab.'"

    So the private was all ready for his war. He was sitting in a fox hole, hating being out there, when he saw an enemy creeping along the top of a nearby hill.

    He grabbed his broom, pointed it at the bad guy and said "Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang" and he fell down dead.

    "Wow this really works" thought the private. He started going through the underbrush when another enemy jumped out and try to gut him - he threw his string at him and said, 'Stabbity Stab Stab, Stab Stab!'. The enemy fell down, dead.

    Pretty soon, he saw another guy rampaging through the woods. He pointed his broomstick at him and yelled, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' Nothing, so he did it again, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' The guy was running at him now. He threw the string, Stabbit Stab Stab StabStab!' The enemy kept running at him and plowed him over, mortally wounding him.

    Then he heard the big guy mumbling as he went past him "Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank."

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    only people with no sense of humor would lock a joke thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NapalmEnema View Post
    Ethiopian jokes aren't racist.

    If anything it's a thin joke. Give me a break...
    Well I wasn't quoting you, was I? Just saying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reikson View Post
    when this thing is eventually locked whoever does it had better have a witty response
    I definitely agree with that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazy Hermit View Post
    only people with no sense of humor would lock a joke thread.
    Precisely why it wont make it to 50+ replies.

    Zurvan is racist! :(
    Quote Originally Posted by Manifoldgodhead View Post
    Woohoo I":M DRUNK, I mean thank you for they update. I will most definably be here for release and love all over your game amazing. Thanks for spell shoelace.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezion View Post
    It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war.
    A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, we don't have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?"

    "I don't have time to deal with this right now" the lieutenant thought.

    He grabbed a broom, sawed off the bottom, and handed it to the solder. "Here use this instead."

    "How is this going to work?"

    "When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang'".

    So the private ran out with his new "rifle". But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying "Lieutenant, we don't have enough bayonets!"

    The Lieutenant grabbed a piece of string off of his desk and gave it the private. "When you see the bad guys coming just throw this at them and say 'Stabity Stab Stab, Stab Stab.'"

    So the private was all ready for his war. He was sitting in a fox hole, hating being out there, when he saw an enemy creeping along the top of a nearby hill.

    He grabbed his broom, pointed it at the bad guy and said "Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang" and he fell down dead.

    "Wow this really works" thought the private. He started going through the underbrush when another enemy jumped out and try to gut him - he threw his string at him and said, 'Stabbity Stab Stab, Stab Stab!'. The enemy fell down, dead.

    Pretty soon, he saw another guy rampaging through the woods. He pointed his broomstick at him and yelled, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' Nothing, so he did it again, 'Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang!' The guy was running at him now. He threw the string, Stabbit Stab Stab StabStab!' The enemy kept running at him and plowed him over, mortally wounding him.

    Then he heard the big guy mumbling as he went past him "Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank Tankity Tank Tank Tank Tank."

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    Good ole' Ole and Lena.

    Spoiler


    Spoiler

  13. #13
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    An old one I still remember:

    An old man sits in his house as the rain pours down. He is well aware that a flood is occurring. He's sitting in his chair on the porch and the water is already up to his feet. A rescue boat comes by and tells him to get on with the other passengers. He calmly replies, "No thank you. God will save me."

    He's sitting in his room now looking out the window and the water is creeping up the stairs. Another boat comes by and urges him to get on. Once again, he replies, "No thank you. God will save me."

    He is now on the roof, and his house is completely inundated. Another boat comes by and is frantically calling for him to get on. Once again, the old man stubbornly replies, "No thank you. God will save me."

    The man is now in heaven. He asks God, "God, why didn't you save me?"
    God replies, "I tried, you retard. I sent 3 fucking boats after you.

    Zurvan is racist! :(
    Quote Originally Posted by Manifoldgodhead View Post
    Woohoo I":M DRUNK, I mean thank you for they update. I will most definably be here for release and love all over your game amazing. Thanks for spell shoelace.

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    What did the black guy say to the middle eastern guy?
    You're the bomb.

    Double Racism!!!!!
    I made that joke myself
    Quote Originally Posted by Murries4You on Youtube.com
    if not fake this really happened

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    Someone post some Jokes!
    P.S. Good one behemoth

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