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  1. #1
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    Default 26 Ways to Prove Conspiracy Theorists are Idiots

    1. Subtly or not so subtly intimidate anyone who might be open to the possibility of a conspiracy by questioning the mental state of conspiracy advocates and pretending they are outcasts of society whose opinions nobody cares about.
    2. Put the word "theory" behind the word "conspiracy", no matter how great the evidence, and preferably do this several times in the article to make the (supposedly) theoretical nature of the conspiracy really sink in.
    3. Imply that conspiracy theories are literally made up out of thin air and that there never was any significant evidence to support any of them.
    4. Present different pieces of the same conspiracy as independently made up and conflicting conspiracy theories.
    5. Carefully select the evidence that is to be presented. Leave out anything that cannot be explained. Focus on evidence that is easy to discredit, or at the very least, inconclusive.
    6. As a talk-show host, don't let any person arguing in favor of a conspiracy speak uninterrupted for even one minute.
    7. For interviews, preferably pick prominent individuals from the conspiracy movement who either have no credentials or irrelevant credentials. Place these conspiracy theorists against academics and other experts who have impeccable credentials.
    8. During video interviews, allow the skeptics to present themselves more properly than the conspiracy advocates.
    9. Quote from generally respected government investigating committees and present their conclusions as gospel.
    10. Automatically dismiss articles from conspiracy advocates as "unreliable", no matter how well-sourced these articles are.
    11. Always question the motives of conspiracy theorists.
    12. Make the well known claim that everybody is in on the conspiracy.
    13. Make a few jokes, usually involving little green men, Elvis, the grassy knoll, and aliens. Then there also is the classic "out to get you" comment.
    14. Ask if the conspiracy advocate believes in any other (unrelated) conspiracies.
    15. Make the claim that governments can't keep secrets.
    16. Repeat the claim that we have free press because scandals are regularly exposed.
    17. As soon as a conspiracy theorist brings up witness testimony, counter with the standard argument that eyewitness testimony is "notoriously unreliable".
    18. When aspects of the permanent government have slowly been exposed over the years, oversimplify by stating this or that conspiracy theory "has had its best time".
    19. Start out with, or only report, conclusions, and leave out most, if not all, evidence that this conclusion has been based on. Also leave out all nuances brought up by the person that has been interviewed.
    20. Oversimplify by stating that the official head of state must have been directly involved in planning and overseeing the conspiracy. Don't allow the subject to explain the transnational, largely privatized, permanent government in any coherent way.
    21. Claim that the internet is responsible for the recent increase in conspiracy theories, because frothing conspiracy theorists are hyping each other up in chat rooms and message boards.
    22. Have a conspiracy theorist argue with a victim of a conspiracy who actually doesn't believe in the conspiracy. Even better, the victim is disabled and dying.
    23. When covering demonstrations, mainly focus on the eccentric and the violent. Ignore all the presentable, calm and intelligent demonstrators.
    24. Don't write about the topics conspiracy theorists bring up. Instead, write about conspiracy theorists.
    25. See if you can link credible writers to not-so-credible writers.
    26. See if you can dig up some dirt on a prominent conspiracy advocate.

  2. #2
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    Well I don't know about you guys - but I'm setting all my conspiratorial notions aside after being trounced by this irrefutable and methodical debunking of all facts related to conspiracy theories.

    Thank you for setting me straight.

  3. #3

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    if conspiracy theorists are idiots the why more and more people pay them attention?

  4. #4
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    Mk-Ultra is a myth and AIDS is from fucking monkeys...


    tuskegee, operation paperclip, 9/11, afgan freedom fighters

    ect ect...

  5. #5
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    PS Pretty sure OP wasn't trying to debunk conspiracy theorist with this thread.

    abby hoffman, black panthers..
    Last edited by Nunz; 10-04-2009 at 04:08.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Bulleteus View Post
    if conspiracy theorists are idiots the why more and more people pay them attention?
    THATS your answer? of all the things you could have said, you say THIS? youre like a Christian who says "if so many people believe it how can it be wrong???"


    its no fucking reason at all.



    also, you maybe should have read at least ONE of his points. like the first one, maybe.
    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Darwin
    "Ignorance begets confidence, more so than does knowledge."
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyldor Gwyvallt
    UK made Saudi Arabia a monarchy so they could take over the middle east

  7. #7

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    You could easily simplify this all down in the ages old "If the speaker has a flaw then their speech is automatically false," found commonly in politics. For instance, when a politician voices something that their opponent dislikes, their opponent will not try to find flaws in the opinion (as it is commonly correct anyway), but instead vocalize some negatory fact about the politician that has nothing to do with the actual opinion but still confused the majority of the public audience (because most humans are idiots and can't think about the 'bigger picture' without interruption.)

    As a sidenote, Marrick, your sig quotes make me smile.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rossco View Post
    As a sidenote, Marrick, your sig quotes make me smile.
    I hope you refer to the Einstein one, I see no reason to glorify mass murderers.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serenius View Post
    I hope you refer to the Einstein one, I see no reason to glorify mass murderers.
    . . .

    Charles Darwin.

    And, incase you didn't get the point, or are just being sarcastic, please reread my whole post carefully, then reread Marrik's post, then reread mine again. If you still don't get it then, than you should refrain from paying any attention to my devious posts (however rare) in the future.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rossco View Post
    . . .

    Charles Darwin.

    And, incase you didn't get the point, or are just being sarcastic, please reread my whole post carefully, then reread Marrik's post, then reread mine again. If you still don't get it then, than you should refrain from paying any attention to my devious posts (however rare) in the future.
    Lol sorry don't know why I said Einstein, I'm sick blame it on the Swine Flu. I should stop posting for a few ways and just sleep it off.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serenius View Post
    Lol sorry don't know why I said Einstein, I'm sick blame it on the Swine Flu. I should stop posting for a few ways and just sleep it off.
    just get your damn vaccine

    Darkfall Online renamed to Fighting Goblins Online
    http://forums.darkfallonline.com/showthread.php?t=86158

  12. #12
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    1 way to prove OP is a moron

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD06SAf0p9A

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bissen View Post
    1 way to prove OP is a moron

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD06SAf0p9A
    You do realize that his post was sarcasm directed at Politics and the Media, right? Or are you someone with a sub-70 IQ and no deductive reasoning skills, because if you were, I'd understand.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rossco View Post
    You do realize that his post was sarcasm directed at Politics and the Media, right? Or are you someone with a sub-70 IQ and no deductive reasoning skills, because if you were, I'd understand.
    Exactly. Now get with the program.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bissen View Post
    Exactly. Now get with the program.
    I have to admit, you just confused me. Was that your intention? Because I can't conceptualize what the 'program' could possibly be. Oh, wait, unless recognizing obvious sarcasm spewn over 26 separate easily identifiable articles is supposed to be difficult to comprehend? Or are you trying to say it's stupid of me to think he couldn't see the blatant sarcasm? Because if you were, and you think he was being sarcastic, then your obviously and idiot. Eitherway, you either have too little or too much faith on the average person's intellect. You should go get that checked out; delusions are medically a bad thing, y'know.

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