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  1. #1
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    Default Jurassic Park Dinosaur Erotica

    If you like erotic fan fiction, check out this page. It's good shit.


    A sample:
    "This is a UNIX system! I KNOW THIS." proclaimed Lex Murphy, staring at the 3D operating system flying before her on screen.

    "No it bloody isn't," screamed Jeff Goldblum, slapping her in her smug little face. "It's clearly IRIX! Which, while a UNIX derivative, isn't actually UNIX." Lex Murphy whimpered a little so Goldblum punched her out of the chair with a sneer. He put the boots into the now unconscious child and removed a few of her worthless little teeth. "Fucking children," he sighed.

    Peering into the whizzy 3D murk, Goldblum stopped. His Jewish eyes couldn't believe it. Was that... no... He grabbed for the mouse and clicked around, soon discovering that yes, indeed, it was a picture of a dinosaur penetrating a giraffe while a lion watched.

    "Wow." said Jeff, before masturbating his gigantic circumcised member until he, er, exploded with, um, dinosaurial velocity. Or something.
    More to be had here:

    http://ijpeffwa.friendsofsmash.co.uk/archives.html


    Quote Originally Posted by jordanleroux View Post
    And '08er with his Bartle Test results as a signature is not allowed to use reason. Please, go choke on a turd.

  2. #2
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    I smell 4chan...

  3. #3
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    The quality of that writing has truly left me speechless. Words cannot describe how I feel about this unique talent that you have unleashed on the world! People in the future will look back at this writer and shake their heads in wonder.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLily View Post
    The quality of that writing has truly left me speechless. Words cannot describe how I feel about this unique talent that you have unleashed on the world! People in the future will look back at this writer and shake their heads in wonder.
    I know, it's breathtakingly beautiful.

    Example:

    Suddenly, and much to Grant’s relief, he turned to see the boardwood ceiling panel collapse under Lex, who swiftly plummeted down, only to hang on by the fingertips of one hand as a fearsome looking velociraptor leapt towards her. With Lex screaming for help, Grant kicked out the nearest steal support bar, sending all four potential dinosaur sex toys crashing towards the danger below. Landing with a thud on top of model fossil exhibit, the four looked around to see the raptors approaching. Grant was so excited he screamed, as in one quick motion he grabbed both children by the neck, and hurled them off the exhibit to the floor below.

    “YYYYEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!” screamed Grant, madness in his eyes, as he pulled Ellie, still in a state of shock, closer to him in an embrace. On the floor below, Tim and Lex had only just landed as the raptors leapt in, tearing them to shreds like hilarious meaty rag dolls. Ellie watched helplessly, helpless tears falling down her helpless face, and she noticed that unless Grant cried from his crotch, he was having a very different reaction. Sobbing, she fell to her knees atop the fossil as Alan stared at the carnage, already the children were reduced to tiny scraps decorating the lobby.
    As good as Dostoevsky.


    Quote Originally Posted by jordanleroux View Post
    And '08er with his Bartle Test results as a signature is not allowed to use reason. Please, go choke on a turd.

  5. #5
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    jesus

    I will never watch jurassic park again in the same light.

    More examples

    MOAR!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lothian View Post
    You're already popping in our radar for the creation of this thread. There is a red flag by your name that calls for extra monitoring for all of your actions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aacevedo View Post
    You're a sick fuck
    that is awesome
    Quote Originally Posted by gloryhound View Post
    You're a fucking genius. I vote for this.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badem View Post
    jesus

    I will never watch jurassic park again in the same light.

    More examples

    MOAR!!!!

    Just for you:

    The Brachiosaur, slowly moved towards the door and nuzzled it open. It continued to move towards Hammond, who by now was quivering with excitement. He could feel the beast's breath on his shrivelled balls - and he liked it. The Brachiosaur extended it's huge, slimy tongue and gently unbuttoned John's fly. As John's twitching shaft popped out, he gasped as the cold air caught him by surprise. The Brachiosaur took a few seconds to gaze upon John's hardon in the kind of amazement only cloned vertebrate was able to express, then thrust forward, taking all of it in deep.

    John groaned as the Brachiosaur dominated his every inch and only a few seconds passed before he erupted into the giant cock with legs mouth. He collapsed into a heap as the dino looked down on him. He gazed into her eyes lovingly for what seemed like an age, stroking her long snout. He whispered gently 'Thank you' - the beast looked back approvingly. Suddenly, John become more animated, he had noticed something.

    "W...Wanda?"

    A single tear dropped from the Dino's left eye.

    "Wanda! My love! It IS you!"

    The cloning experiments HAD worked, she was back - it didn't matter to John that she was now a 150ft tall and 90% Dinosaur DNA - he was no longer alone. Wanda gazed at him with that look he remembered all so well from many years ago. It simply said 'My turn'.

    In one mighty movement, Wanda turned over onto her enormous back and slowly spread her giant pod legs, arching her mighty neck to give Hammond another cheeky look, flicking her head back to beckon him towards her. John slowly got to his feet, limped to the balcony and smiled. He paused for a moment and looked upon his enormous cloned dino-wife and as the wind and rain battered his craggy, haggard face, he took a deep breath in, licked his lips and stepped into the night whispering "Welcome...to Jurassic Park".


    Quote Originally Posted by jordanleroux View Post
    And '08er with his Bartle Test results as a signature is not allowed to use reason. Please, go choke on a turd.

  7. #7

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    That is the most poignant work that i've ever had the pleasure to read.

    Truly breathtaking.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Bill View Post
    That is the most poignant work that i've ever had the pleasure to read.

    Truly breathtaking.
    I agree, some truly funny erotica haha
    Quote Originally Posted by Lothian View Post
    You're already popping in our radar for the creation of this thread. There is a red flag by your name that calls for extra monitoring for all of your actions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aacevedo View Post
    You're a sick fuck
    that is awesome
    Quote Originally Posted by gloryhound View Post
    You're a fucking genius. I vote for this.

  9. #9
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    Haha, nice job with defiling my childhood memories :P
    Oswaldo Propagandhi

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