Defying Death

[Villa]

My 7th best friend on the interweb is called Zole.
Zole recently announced that by staying at home all day he defies death.
He gave examples of things that cannot affect him if he remains a housebound unemployed loser, such as being hit by a train, or tripping over a loose paving slab on the street, or receiving aids, or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets.

While there is no denying the logic in these examples, I can't help but feel that perhaps he isn't seeing the bigger picture.

I need your assistance in this matter; if you could maybe provide examples of life threatening scenarios in the home I might be able to convince him to go out and get a job or something.
Or perhaps I'm the one who is wrong and he is indeed correct in his theory that staying at home all day is the safest course of action?

Help.

[Bissen]

My 7th best friend on the interweb is called Zole.
Zole recently announced that by staying at home all day he defies death.
He gave examples of things that cannot affect him if he remains a housebound unemployed loser, such as being hit by a train, or tripping over a loose paving slab on the street, or receiving aids, or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets.

While there is no denying the logic in these examples, I can't help but feel that perhaps he isn't seeing the bigger picture.

I need your assistance in this matter; if you could maybe provide examples of life threatening scenarios in the home I might be able to convince him to go out and get a job or something.
Or perhaps I'm the one who is wrong and he is indeed correct in his theory that staying at home all day is the safest course of action?

Help.

Tell him that what he really is defying is LIFE!

[Fro]

A suicide bomber could break in and blow himself up?

[Titus Ultor]

Carbon monoxide.

[Morthor]

It's not 'death-defying' if there is no situation in which death is imminent.

HOLY SHIT! I just realised you can change the size of the quick reply box! awesome!

[ExiliuM]

HOLY SHIT! I just realised you can change the size of the quick reply box! awesome!

Really?

DAMN!

[Dhig]

Compulsory fapping :(

[Capricious]

Can you just hurry up and get banned? At least you used to start somewhat humorous threads. Now they are just shit.

[kizer2]

tell them that something like 60 percent fo all deaths occur in a home..\\\



lol:lmao:

[Feyrband]

house fires and break-ins for starters.

[Villa]

Can you just hurry up and get banned? At least you used to start somewhat humorous threads. Now they are just shit.
This is about you being the overlooked e-son right?
It's just that Carl is so much nicer to me, and I'm proud of him.
Of course I am well aware that he wishes to commit e-patricide when I'm not looking and takeover :(

[Forgin]

You could enter his house and then SHIT HITS THE FAN< BIG TIME

[The Cougar]

Mask yourself and break into his house, then shoot him in the foot.

[Beeblebrox]

tell them that something like 60 percent fo all deaths occur in a home..\\\



lol:lmao:


In fact, what's even more disturbing is that empirical tests already demonstrated that over 75% of domestic fatal accidents happen inside a house.

[Razli]

Boo fuckity Hoo?

[Capricious]

This is about you being the overlooked e-son right?
It's just that Carl is so much nicer to me, and I'm proud of him.
Of course I am well aware that he wishes to commit e-patricide when I'm not looking and takeover :(

While that may play a partial role, my original sentiment remains.

[Silfurdreki]

...or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets....

Wouldn't surprisingly nimble midgets pretty easily get into a house if they were as desperate as they are?

Just hope they're not desperate surprisingly nimbe Ninja midgets. In that cas you're in big trouble. :ninja:

[Xtra-Medium]

maybe he is denying death, but he is also denying life, cuz what is life if you don't live it to the fullest?

and tell him to stop being a pussy and letting fear rule his life, he needs to learn to live a lil

[akrippler]

Top 10 weirdest deaths of 2004 (i think) number 1 was a dildo that punctured organs and caused internal bleeding. Let that one hang over his head.

[wo0ah]

I'm gonna lol when he goes out one day after 2 years and get hit by a car.

[ppsh42]

I'm gonna lol when he goes out one day after 2 years and get hit by a car.

What would be more funny is if after 2 years of successfully evading death in his home, some insane war veteran breaks into his house, rapes him, and then executes him military style.

[Bloody blade]

Just say "What happens when you computer dies, and because you don't have a job, you won't be able to afford a new one!"

[Zyrokin]

My 7th best friend on the interweb is called Zole.
Zole recently announced that by staying at home all day he defies death.
He gave examples of things that cannot affect him if he remains a housebound unemployed loser, such as being hit by a train, or tripping over a loose paving slab on the street, or receiving aids, or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets.

While there is no denying the logic in these examples, I can't help but feel that perhaps he isn't seeing the bigger picture.

I need your assistance in this matter; if you could maybe provide examples of life threatening scenarios in the home I might be able to convince him to go out and get a job or something.
Or perhaps I'm the one who is wrong and he is indeed correct in his theory that staying at home all day is the safest course of action?

Help.


I think that the chance to not be anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but suprisingly nimble midgets is its own loss. I mean come on, who doesn't dream about that.

[Tzacharu]

He is not defying death, because to die, you must have first a life.

He does not have a life, therefore he is not defying death. What he is defying is life.

[Witerabbit]

running with sharp objects anyone?
also radon poisoning
in addition he will probably develop asthma
if he has stairs he could fall down them and crack his neck

take your pick really... theres tons

[Mulambo]

If you stay in your house all the time, there is a 94.877% chance you will end up too fat to see your peen0r (or va-jay-jay). It has been statistically proven by greater men than myself.

Is your friend aware of this?

[heroshade]

My 7th best friend on the interweb is called Zole.
Zole recently announced that by staying at home all day he defies death.
He gave examples of things that cannot affect him if he remains a housebound unemployed loser, such as being hit by a train, or tripping over a loose paving slab on the street, or receiving aids, or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets.

While there is no denying the logic in these examples, I can't help but feel that perhaps he isn't seeing the bigger picture.

I need your assistance in this matter; if you could maybe provide examples of life threatening scenarios in the home I might be able to convince him to go out and get a job or something.
Or perhaps I'm the one who is wrong and he is indeed correct in his theory that staying at home all day is the safest course of action?

Help.
While he's sleeping, put him outside on the sidewalk that says "Where to now bitch?" and then suicide bomb his house.

[Treyguard]

My 7th best friend on the interweb is called Zole.
Zole recently announced that by staying at home all day he defies death.
He gave examples of things that cannot affect him if he remains a housebound unemployed loser, such as being hit by a train, or tripping over a loose paving slab on the street, or receiving aids, or being anally violated by a roving gang of desperate but surprisingly nimble midgets.

By presenting himself as a static target he is merely making himself more vulnerable to anal rape by roving gangs of midgets. This will result in AIDS, shortly followed by his swift death when he trips over a paving slab and into the path of an oncoming train whilst on his way to the clinic for treatment.

In short, your friend is doomed.


He is not defying death, because to die, you must have first a life.

He does not have a life, therefore he is not defying death. What he is defying is life.

As further proof of his beeing doomed, my learned collegue Tzacharu has correctly pointed out that your friend is, in fact, undead.

[Incanam]

In fact, what's even more disturbing is that empirical tests already demonstrated that over 75% of domestic fatal accidents happen inside a house.

I c wat u did thar!