Criminals are so stupid - doesn't anyone watch CSI?

[NapalmEnema]

I'm always amazed that people don't know how to get away with any kind of serious crime. Granted I'm glad they don't, but sometimes you have to wonder what kind of an idiot you would have to be to get caught like these people do.

Exhibit A- This just happened in my town. (lovely I know)

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18044008/detail.html

Guy kills girl, then drags her body to a nearby manhole/stormdrain and drops her in. He leaves a gigantic trail of blood to the disposal site, across his neighbors driveway, then back to his house.

He keeps the clothes.

He keeps the kitchen knife.

His defense? "She stabbed herself and I got scared".

Yes, she stabbed herself in the abdomen, chest, and cut her own throat. That's what most mothers with 6 year old's do... :idea:

[Xtra-Medium]

lol are they really that stupid?

[DocGonzo]

goes to show that you can educate the Ignorant...

but you just can't fix Stupid

[heroshade]

It's also a reason execution should be an instant sentence.

[Weeking]

People are stupid when they panic. Also he is a wuz if he can't carry his wive.

[NapalmEnema]

People are stupid when they panic.

How do you panic for what looks like a couple hours?

If I killed someone on the spur of the moment, I'd burn down whatever dwelling it took place in and go to a nightclub in my new outfit from WalMart. :ninja:

[Saturday Saint]

goes to show that you can educate the Ignorant...

but you just can't fix Stupid

You can always get a boob job or plastic surgery, though.

[Temet nosce]

People who do that kind of thing, are already guaranteed to get caught simply because they wouldn't have done it otherwise. The very mental state which causes the crimes, dooms them to be caught.

[MindOverSword]

I've got to wonder, with the 6 billion investigation shows out there, showing the million possible ways to screw up a crime, how come criminals still get caught? Geez, watch these shows, note what works and what doesn't, then be careful.

[heroshade]

How do you panic for what looks like a couple hours?

If I killed someone on the spur of the moment, I'd burn down whatever dwelling it took place in and go to a nightclub in my new outfit from WalMart. :ninja:

I guarentee that that is NOT what you would do. You'de burn it down, and immedietely start going "shit shit shit shit," like that kid who's parents are just getting a call from the police. You would panic and probably try to run and hide somewhere. You would leave a panicked trail behind you. It's usually the lucky or psychotic geniuses who get away with shit.

[NapalmEnema]

People who do that kind of thing, are already guaranteed to get caught simply because they wouldn't have done it otherwise. The very mental state which causes the crimes, dooms them to be caught.

Looks like this guy took a break from Wrath Of The Litch King (21, living at home, hitting on single mom)

Got turned down for the poon even after showing her his phat epics, then went Manson on her.

Now the real question is if he sexed up the body before or while it was in the manhole. :ohno:

[NapalmEnema]

I guarentee that that is NOT what you would do. You'de burn it down, and immedietely start going "shit shit shit shit," like that kid who's parents are just getting a call from the police. You would panic and probably try to run and hide somewhere. You would leave a panicked trail behind you. It's usually the lucky or psychotic geniuses who get away with shit.

I wouldn't kill anyone on the spur of the moment.

Now, if you would kindly go stand over on that 12X12' square of heavy duty plastic, next to my cash paid for car parked beside this giant gorge with a massive tire fire going on in it, I'd be most obliged. :ninja::ninja:

[Xtra-Medium]

yea maybe he was even dumb enough to leave his semen in the corpse too

[NapalmEnema]

yea maybe he was even dumb enough to leave his semen in the corpse too

"She masturbated me into a cup, then poured it into a turkey baster, then inserted it in her vagina, mouth, and anus, and squirted it all up in there before stabbing herself in the abdomen, chest, and slitting her own throat. I knew she was kinky, but I think she really took it too far. Can I go now?"

<perfect alibi>

[Temet nosce]

Looks like this guy took a break from Wrath Of The Litch King (21, living at home, hitting on single mom)

Got turned down for the poon even after showing her his phat epics, then went Manson on her.

Now the real question is if he sexed up the body before or while it was in the manhole. :ohno:

Funnily enough, most of might that might well be accurate. Barring the part about fucking her after she's dead. To be entirely serious, given the nature of the crime it's pretty clear he wasn't comfortable enough around bloodshed to do something like that. Or he'd have done a better job of this.

[NapalmEnema]

Funnily enough, most of might that might well be accurate. Barring the part about fucking her after she's dead. To be entirely serious, given the nature of the crime it's pretty clear he wasn't comfortable enough around bloodshed to do something like that. Or he'd have done a better job of this.

True... I just threw the sexing up the dead body part to keep forumfall interested. Def a crime of 'getting turned down with sloppy advance' though. She probably was bored at home and hung with him here and there and he didn't realize he was in the friend zone. A clumsy unwarranted boob grab after watching E! and he just couldn't take the rejection.

Really sad in the end, but it still begs the question, even in the throws of 'the moment' how people can be so stupid. Then again, you have to be a certain level of crazy to stab anyone over anything.

[Temet nosce]

True... I just threw the sexing up the dead body part to keep forumfall interested. Def a crime of 'getting turned down with sloppy advance' though. She probably was bored at home and hung with him here and there and he didn't realize he was in the friend zone. A clumsy unwarranted boob grab after watching E! and he just couldn't take the rejection.

Really sad in the end, but it still begs the question, even in the throws of 'the moment' how people can be so stupid. Then again, you have to be a certain level of crazy to stab anyone over anything.

It's not stupidity, so much as a built in reaction, and there are worse ones. For example, I've read accounts of shipwrecks where people simply continued what they were doing, hid, or froze up completely when the ship started to sink.

[nathanpinard]

I'm always amazed that people don't know how to get away with any kind of serious crime. Granted I'm glad they don't, but sometimes you have to wonder what kind of an idiot you would have to be to get caught like these people do.

Exhibit A- This just happened in my town. (lovely I know)

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18044008/detail.html

Guy kills girl, then drags her body to a nearby manhole/stormdrain and drops her in. He leaves a gigantic trail of blood to the disposal site, across his neighbors driveway, then back to his house.

He keeps the clothes.

He keeps the kitchen knife.

His defense? "She stabbed herself and I got scared".

Yes, she stabbed herself in the abdomen, chest, and cut her own throat. That's what most mothers with 6 year old's do... :idea:

LOL, not much different from a CSI episode.


If I killed someone on the spur of the moment, I'd burn down whatever dwelling it took place in and go to a nightclub in my new outfit from WalMart.

Uhhh no. You should probably watch more Forensic Files before committing a crime.

[AngusFinch]

Sick and stupid, but not as sick and stupid as the comments it inspired here. I think most people around that age are crazy and dumb enough to do it as well, they're just too afraid.

[Paganini]

He should have the murder charge dropped and be tried for extreme stupidity

[Ludo]

He should have the murder charge dropped and be tried for extreme stupidity

I bet he was more bored then anything - making creative patterns of blood with his wifes crushed scull juices.

[Lethn]

Even though I would never kill people normally except in self-defense I'd have more sense to cover my tracks far better than that. That has to be one of the dumbest criminals ever, oh the escape from the German Prison solid snake style was pure gold though :D

[IcePillow]

Seems like a suicide... isn't a suicide at all!

Pretty much it. =)

[chimp]

I'm always amazed that people don't know how to get away with any kind of serious crime. Granted I'm glad they don't, but sometimes you have to wonder what kind of an idiot you would have to be to get caught like these people do.

Exhibit A- This just happened in my town. (lovely I know)

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18044008/detail.html

Guy kills girl, then drags her body to a nearby manhole/stormdrain and drops her in. He leaves a gigantic trail of blood to the disposal site, across his neighbors driveway, then back to his house.

He keeps the clothes.

He keeps the kitchen knife.

His defense? "She stabbed herself and I got scared".

Yes, she stabbed herself in the abdomen, chest, and cut her own throat. That's what most mothers with 6 year old's do... :idea:

Well I think the point is that most murders are not premeditated, they are crimes of passion / heat of the moment type things.

Anyone who is considering murdering someone and has watched CSI probably has the forethought to just go ahead and not murder that person, because it would be rather a lot of hassle.

So there you go, CSI stops murders.

Also lol at that guys line, I bet the coppers coud'nt gave a straight face as he delivered it deadpan.

[Spinewire]

Uhhh no. You should probably watch more Forensic Files before committing a crime.
stick her in the living room and put a chip fat frier on then go out...

splashing petrol around the place and lighting it up would be a bad idea imo.

[Tug]

Also, 90% of CSI stuff is highly impractical, even if it's based on reality, because most police departments simply don't have the resources, knowledge, or manpower to facilitate those sorts of investigations. A half-ass attempt at covering things up intelligently might not get past an hour of Grissom's keen intellect, but Sherriff Bubba Johnson from Bumfuck, Nowhere isn't gonna notice a damn thing. Especially if you take your cues from everyone's favorite serial killer, Dexter Morgan.

Seriously, if someone today wanted to, they could make Ted Bundy look like a sunday school teacher, and not get caught. There's enough "how-to" out there, and it's scary.

[chimp]

Also, 90% of CSI stuff is highly impractical, even if it's based on reality, because most police departments simply don't have the resources, knowledge, or manpower to facilitate those sorts of investigations. A half-ass attempt at covering things up intelligently might not get past an hour of Grissom's keen intellect, but Sherriff Bubba Johnson from Bumfuck, Nowhere isn't gonna notice a damn thing. Especially if you take your cues from everyone's favorite serial killer, Dexter Morgan.

Seriously, if someone today wanted to, they could make Ted Bundy look like a sunday school teacher, and not get caught. There's enough "how-to" out there, and it's scary.

Yeah the DNA labwork alone would takes months probably for results to come back. The investigators themselves dont pop on white frocks, goggles, and whip out the myfirstchemistry set.

[Sabbathius]

The guy was a cretin, did it with no plan, freaked out and made many mistakes in the process. Jails are full of people like that. But something to keep in mind, FBI estimates that at any given time there are 20-50 serial killers operating in the USA, that is, people who successfully killed more than once. I saw that number in the 90s, then again in 00s. Luckily most are not very sophisticated and are caught, or stop on their own, but quite a few quite literally get away with murder. So, criminals are just like other people: some are dumb as bricks, others are brilliant and inventive.

[chimp]

The guy was a cretin, did it with no plan, freaked out and made many mistakes in the process. Jails are full of people like that. But something to keep in mind, FBI estimates that at any given time there are 20-50 serial killers operating in the USA, that is, people who successfully killed more than once. I saw that number in the 90s, then again in 00s. Luckily most are not very sophisticated and are caught, or stop on their own, but quite a few quite literally get away with murder. So, criminals are just like other people: some are dumb as bricks, others are brilliant and inventive.

I do sometimes wonder, the police where I live just seem plain incompetant. A year back a huge murder case got thrown out of court because the detectives plain fucked it up. They had the guys dead to rights for a gang execution of some guy, but they decided to go ahead and place illegal wiretaps during the suspect / solicitor meetings. And then got found out.

Fucking nice one, why not give the murderers a handshake and a lollypop whilst you are at it.

Infact I once filed a police report against someone, and the police department LOST it, because they use a filing system whereby they chisel details into rock and then have spider monkey's fling them around an office.

[Helgeran]

Killing someone is messy unless you're a really cold blooded motherfucked and give someone a petrol injection while they're sleeping and bodies are usually heavy and hard to move around without somebody noticing it. I think the only way to be really on the safe is either during it far away like when you're hiking in the mountains (still, risky to push somebody off the cliff since they might survive and call for help unless you finish the job with a rock in which case you get blood on you and someone is going to notice it wasn't the fall who killed, if you let the person die on their own someon might hear the calls for help) plus there's the risk that they pull you with them. The fastest way is to kill a complete stranger and let nobody know where you've been travelling.

[holychicken]

I'm always amazed that people don't know how to get away with any kind of serious crime. Granted I'm glad they don't, but sometimes you have to wonder what kind of an idiot you would have to be to get caught like these people do.

Exhibit A- This just happened in my town. (lovely I know)

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18044008/detail.html

Guy kills girl, then drags her body to a nearby manhole/stormdrain and drops her in. He leaves a gigantic trail of blood to the disposal site, across his neighbors driveway, then back to his house.

He keeps the clothes.

He keeps the kitchen knife.

His defense? "She stabbed herself and I got scared".

Yes, she stabbed herself in the abdomen, chest, and cut her own throat. That's what most mothers with 6 year old's do... :idea:
They may be stupid, but they have taste so they aren't going to watch crap shows like CSI.

The second time I was investigated by the FBI, the FBI agent knew I was innocent (at least, I assumed he did considering the way he interviewed me), he told me that the best show for accuracy is Law and Order. . . and told me not to trust those crap shows CSI. I swear he was basically telling me how to commit crimes and get away with them. It was weird, which is why I am not entirely sure of his motives.

[Brillen]

He should have the murder charge dropped and be tried for extreme stupidity

Send him to texas, they execute the retarded there. :p

[Helgeran]

They may be stupid, but they have taste so they aren't going to watch crap shows like CSI.

The second time I was investigated by the FBI, the FBI agent knew I was innocent (at least, I assumed he did considering the way he interviewed me), he told me that the best show for accuracy is Law and Order. . . and told me not to trust those crap shows CSI. I swear he was basically telling me how to commit crimes and get away with them. It was weird, which is why I am not entirely sure of his motives.
Nurses and doctors say Scrubs is the most accurate hospital series. I believe that since nobody would survive going to the doctor with all the drama in the other series.

[holychicken]

Nurses and doctors say Scrubs is the most accurate hospital series. I believe that since nobody would survive going to the doctor with all the drama in the other series.
I will have to ask her which she thinks is the most accurate, but my gf hates all those drama shows but loves scrubs (she is a doctor, BTW).

[Sabbathius]

Killing someone is messy unless you're a really cold blooded motherfucked and give someone a petrol injection while they're sleeping and bodies are usually heavy and hard to move around without somebody noticing it. I think the only way to be really on the safe is either during it far away like when you're hiking in the mountains (still, risky to push somebody off the cliff since they might survive and call for help unless you finish the job with a rock in which case you get blood on you and someone is going to notice it wasn't the fall who killed, if you let the person die on their own someon might hear the calls for help) plus there's the risk that they pull you with them. The fastest way is to kill a complete stranger and let nobody know where you've been travelling.

Are you kidding? There's strangling with piano wire or a zip tie, I seriously wonder why I don't see this on the news daily, ever see police use smaller ones to handcuff suspects, well, exactly like that only use the bigger ones they use in lumber yards and to tie large electrical cables together. It barely flexes, has no weight, just jerk it closed on someone's neck, and there you go, no matter how strong the person is, unless they have a sharp knife handy, it's lights out in 10 seconds or less, death in 20. There's blackjacks, drugs, heavy duty plastic bags (watch "24", plenty of plastic bag stuff there. If all else fails, use the same technique British commandos used in WW2.

Screaming? Silence is Golden (http://www.sensationalcolor.com/colorpro/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/duct_tape.jpg)

In fact, now that I think about it, the home repair store across the street has everything one would need to cleanly and quietly dispose of someone, including an assortment of axes, hacksaws and wheelbarrows and shovels. Disturbing, isn't it?

[Camelmix]

Also, 90% of CSI stuff is highly impractical, even if it's based on reality, because most police departments simply don't have the resources, knowledge, or manpower to facilitate those sorts of investigations. A half-ass attempt at covering things up intelligently might not get past an hour of Grissom's keen intellect, but Sherriff Bubba Johnson from Bumfuck, Nowhere isn't gonna notice a damn thing. Especially if you take your cues from everyone's favorite serial killer, Dexter Morgan.

Seriously, if someone today wanted to, they could make Ted Bundy look like a sunday school teacher, and not get caught. There's enough "how-to" out there, and it's scary.

It really is scary. One of my friend's dad's good friends works in Law Enforcement (I'm pretty sure that he is a retired CIA agent, this guy is really fucking gnarly) and he told us how freakin' easy it is to get away with murder. He even explained the easiest way to do it. Just amazing.

As for Dexter, if you followed what he did, you would be famous fast. Or infamous, I can never remember which.

[Gloomrender]

I'm always amazed that people don't know how to get away with any kind of serious crime. Granted I'm glad they don't, but sometimes you have to wonder what kind of an idiot you would have to be to get caught like these people do.

Exhibit A- This just happened in my town. (lovely I know)

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18044008/detail.html

Guy kills girl, then drags her body to a nearby manhole/stormdrain and drops her in. He leaves a gigantic trail of blood to the disposal site, across his neighbors driveway, then back to his house.

He keeps the clothes.

He keeps the kitchen knife.

His defense? "She stabbed herself and I got scared".

Yes, she stabbed herself in the abdomen, chest, and cut her own throat. That's what most mothers with 6 year old's do... :idea:

Most criminals aren't criminals because they're smart, self disciplined, people.

That said, even if you watch CSI and you think you've covered all the bases, you're still likely to leave some kind of traceable evidence. The CSI's in real life are really, really, fucking thorough. All they need is a piece of your hair, or a tiny amount of rubbish from your clothes that they can match to you, or a shoe scraping, etc...It's very hard not to leave evidence in the age of modern forensics.

[ExiliuM]

What a fucking stupid asshole.

This reminds me of a newer episode of Family Guy, "The Man With Two Brians", where Stewie kills the new dog and leaves a fake suicide note for the family.

"...And that's why I stabbed myself to death, cut my self to pieces, put the body parts in a plastic bag and threw it in the dumpster".

[Nicolie]

Sometimes during "headlines" on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" he has a few "stupid criminals". He has stuff like guys with name tags robbing places, you need to hear one to see what morons are out there.