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heroshade
10-16-2008, 05:50
THE SERIES PREMIERE!

FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

Starring:

Heroshade as Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the third

Temet Nosce As Baron Von Nosce

Krylas as Ozzy

Hitom as .... stoner guy

Bruno as himself


EPISODE ONE

October 14th, 2008

Somewhere in the Arizona desert

The massive spinning disks floated slowly down to the ground, the large green crystals in the centers of each one glowed ominously. Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Escquire the third stood at the window of the mansion he had siezed just days earlier, watching his men outside preparing for combat.

Suddenly, Snipes broke the silence. "Something is amiss, Bruno." The disturbingly large German man looked up from his coloring book. "Daaaaaamn dude!" the voice was maniacal and dark. Snipes turned to the source of the voice. "Where the hell did you come from!? Bruno! Sieze him!"

Bruno lunged towards the man, grabbing him and forcing his arm far behind his back. "Woah! Dude, I am so BLAZED right now, heh heh." Snipes approached him. "Who are you?"

Meanwhile...

Captain Tubesock paced in front of his troops barking orders at them. "I want those MGs set up five minutes ago! Get those sandbags up trooper! Private! Go find General Snipes and tell him our southern parameter is up and re-"

There was a crash off in the distance, followed by a loud whooshing sounds. Several more followed until finally, there was a short moment of silence. There was a rumbling sound from the horizon. Finally, the troops could see their adversaries. "Get down!" Barked Tubesock. "Take smart shots and preserve your ammo! Don't let them get past this line!" The horde of strange creatures drew closer every second. "FIRE!"

A hail of bullets tore away at the front lines of the massive hellspawn that was charging towards. "Oh my god..." Whispered the captain. "They aren't aliens. They're.... They're..... GD'ERS!" Some of the soldiers immediately broke formation and took off.

Back in the mansion...

"I'll only ask you this one more time." Snipes said harshly, ignoring the gunfire in the background. "Who ARE YOU!?" The man continued to look around aimlessly before spouting: "Okay, I'll talk. I'm uh.... uhhhhh.... Damn. I'mmmm.... Crap, I can't remember." He let out a goofy laugh, only to recieve a backhand to the face. "So be it."

Snipes walked over to the desk and hit the intercom button. "Bring in Baron Von Nosce." He demanded. "Right away General Sir."

Moments later, the sound of a door being smashed in could be heard. "Bruno," Snipes said, his eyes narrowing. "Bring me my axe."

Meanwhile...

tallefred
10-16-2008, 05:54
I don't have a part????


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAY.

heroshade
10-16-2008, 05:54
I don't have a part????


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAY.

You can have one if you want, it's only the first episode. You have to post it though.

tallefred
10-16-2008, 06:15
and then the heroic Tallefred came and saved the day. The end.

Krylas
10-16-2008, 06:16
Meanwhile...
LOCATION: Aboard Alien ship Brokeback, holding cell I-69
"And that is why Antonio Banderas is the sexiest actor of the 90's" Ozzy typed in the Linux computer he had stolen from the "Failed Human Inventions" section of the ship and hooked up to the Alien's internet. He closed down his blog, which had recently doubled in hits ever since he started stealing articles from Cracked.com.

Leaving his 'computer', Ozzy turned to his bed, which was shaped in what could be called an "W", but built by a kid with downs syndrome. This made it awkward to lie in, and Ozzy often regretted letting himself be abducted by Aliens with such little understanding of the human body. Climbing under the sheets, he was just about to make himself comfortable (or as much as you can be while lying on top of a particularly sharp member of the alphabet) when his 'computer' started playing a recording of him singing along to R-Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet", signifying an email message. Groaning, he dragged himself over to the screen, and ran the message through his english translator.

From: Leiutenent (Name untranslatable)
Subject: Damnit, this ends now!
Comrades, it has come to my attention that someone among us is queer. Not queer in the sense of a retired rodeo clown running a daycare, but in every other sense of the word.
Whoever this is, all I ask of you is to please, stop streaming videos of two male Humans fornicating. If you have to see these videos, download them so that we may study their sexual organs (Our scientists have a new theory: The pole extending out from the male species acts as a conductor, and friction causes the formation of static electricity, which is why they become stiff).
Also, it's slowing down my download of "The Notebook".
That is all.

Ozzy giggled and shut down the computer. The leiutenant shall never see one of the great romantic comedies of our time, he vowed. He relished the small victories.

Layedballer
10-16-2008, 09:12
Someone needs to make me a part/put me in theirs...
Perhaps a crazy rapist

surGeonFFS
10-16-2008, 11:00
Can someone tell me whether or not these walls of text are worthwhile.

Lyam Sunchaser
10-16-2008, 11:02
tl;dr? Make it shorter!

BlackVolgan
10-16-2008, 11:09
meanwhile BlackVolgan was on the moon fighting a dragon

surGeonFFS
10-16-2008, 11:34
meanwhile BlackVolgan was on the moon fighting a dragon

See! This is awesome, Concise and straight to the point. Did you win?

Temet nosce
10-16-2008, 11:45
(Right, this may suck. I'm completely fucking wasted to the point that I no longer can tell how wasted I am. Brownies are good for your wastedness and bad for your telling. That said, I'll post this anyways, so fuck you. Whoever you are. Yes. You.)

In a distant part of the mansion a pleasant faced face dressed impeccably in the latest fashion with his sleeves up his arms pushes his glasses upwards on his face slightly then grimaces faintly in distaste as a smudge appears on his vision, he contemplates it for a second then returns to glaring down at a red mess in front of him in irritation and mutters "Really, these foul beings could at least be similar enough to humanity to be able to predict when blood will squirt... They make terrible art, truly terrible..."

Continuing in this vein for several minutes the man mutters to himself until he hears a throat cleared behind him, and he turns around to see a wide eyed young man dressed in a beautiful white uniform behind him, the young man opens his mouth to speak but is cut off suddenly by the Baron with a brilliant smile "Wonderful, wonderful, do come here.", the young man blanches but marches over stiffly, at which point the Baron begins wiping the blood off his hands on the mans uniform and observes cheerfully "Genius idea of Snipe's dressing you army minion things... whatever they call your rank anyways in cleaning cloth.", the man opens and closes his mouth several times but finally wisely waits until the Baron says, "Oh, yes, what was it that brought you here? I doubt Snipe's anticipated I needed a cloth, then again I wouldn't put it past him...", the man gulps slightly and straightens in his now filthy uniform while the Baron examines his nails with a preoccupied air "The General requests your presence My Lord, I believe he has an um, guest for you.", Baron Von Nosce's eyes light up and he casually reaches over with his now spotless hands and shoves the ruin of a body off the table then begins cleaning them on the soldier's uniform again "Marvelous! Well, you just go ahead and clean up this mess for me." then absently wanders off, leaving the young man alone with the corpse and his... toys.

Several minutes later the Baron begins humming as he arrives at the more inhabited sections of the mansion and eyeing people with a disturbingly clinical and pleased air, causing them to shy away from him. When one particularly frightened individual actually takes several steps away staring at him, the Baron flashes a brilliant smile at her and comments "Your quadriceps femoris is very well developed.", before moving on as she turns and flees.

Eventually he wanders into Snipe's office, seeming rather preoccupied for the moment.

Krylas
10-16-2008, 16:27
Back on The Brokeback...
Waking at around 12:00 Earth time, Ozzy slipped out of his unlocked cell and made his way to his favorite spot on the ship: A small balcony from which he could view the entire operation. Watching as hundreds of human slaves were prodded either there posts or the labs where they were given what was referred to as an "Alien Physical". Ozzy wouldn't admit it to himself, but that did sound enticing, despite the screams coming from behind the locked doors.

He wondered why he was never made to work, examined, and why all his cellmates were distorted household appliances. Also, he began to think about the way he was enabled to basically walk the ship freely, as his door was kept unlocked. He dwelled on the subject for no less than 2 minutes before turning back to visit the vending machine and watch the TV he had found in the "Potential Earth Leaders" room.

He was deep into his 4th episode of "Sex in the City", and engaged in a heated discussion with a toaster with a drawn- on lipstick face when the train of thought that had before entered his head on the balcony once again made its way into his mind. Mostly just the part about "Alien Physicals". Realizing that he couldn't live this way forever, a forgotten prisoner on a somewhat retarted Alien's ship. Why hadn't he sought to find more of his captors? He glanced back at the TV, which had inexplicably changed to VH1.

He had a choice to make, "One that will evidently change the path of the universe!" he thought.
Investigate the ship further, or stay for VH1's 100 best child stars.
It might have been the most incredible decision of his life, had it not been made for him. He had got a glimpse of the show advertisement, and saw that Lindsey Lohan was number 9.
Disgusted, he stormed out of his cell, muttering to himself about Donny Osmond.

Skyborn
10-16-2008, 16:48
I'm rooting for snipes...he needs the moral support.

Spinewire
10-16-2008, 16:50
See! This is awesome, Concise and straight to the point. Did you win?
only vs the dragon

heroshade
10-16-2008, 23:46
Someone needs to make me a part/put me in theirs...
Perhaps a crazy rapist

You can kidnap Bruno if you want :/

Part incoming.

m0j0mann
10-17-2008, 00:00
Miles away, in Washington, Gunnery-sergeant m0j0mann Johnson Shitdick Dropkicker Jr (Known to his friends as "Jr") received classified orders from President-Emperor Nader to investigate the reported queerities in Arizonaland. With a crack squad of CIA, FBI, NATO, UEFA, and PETA operatives in tow, he boarded a solar-powered jet plane bound for the desert state.

Or make any part you want for me, just remember I'm called Gunnery-sergeant m0j0mann Johnson Shitdick Dropkicker Jr. Kkthnx.

heroshade
10-17-2008, 00:21
The door flew open and the Baron marched up to General Sir Snipes. "What do you need friend?" He asked politely. In fact, it was so polite for someone in his line of work that it was almost frightening. Bruno returned with a large, double bladed axe, which he handed to Snipes. The gunfire still continued outside. "I'm going out there. I want you to find out who this man is." He said, pointing at the intruder. "Try not to kill him to quickly."

With that, Snipes walked valiantly out of the room, leaving Bruno and the Baron to deal with their guest.

"Sir, theres to many of th-" The private was cut off by the unnecessary request of a lone GD'er. Captiain Tubesock unloaded a clip in the creatures face. They had already been pushed into the courtyard, and several men had been killed or had run away. Tubesock grabbed the private and shook him aggressively. "Go in there and tell the General Sir that we need reinforcements, NOW!"

"Yes sir!" the private spat. As he approached the door, it smashed open. Standing over the rubble was the General Sir himself, wielding a massive double bladed axe. "Sir, we need reinforcements!" said the private, now stiff with angsiety. "I am the reinforcements," Snipes barked. "Now go radio Admiral Brannoc and tell him we need help with these GD'ers."

The last line of soldiers broke and ran for the mansion, only to come face to face with Snipes. "Turn around, keep fighting!" An unsuspecting GD'er jumped in front of the General Sir.

"Will there be safe zo-" The axe removed his head in one swift motion. "What?" Snipes said with a confused look on his face. "I thought we were fighting aliens?" The captain turned to him. "No sir, we think the aliens sent them in to soften up our defences."

Snipes grunted. "They misunderestimate me." He flung the axe into the oncoming crowd of monsters, embedding it into someones chest. With an almost mystical leap, he jumped into the frey, grabbed his axe, and proceeded to destroy every GD'er near him. The enemies ranks were thinning out, giving way to mere vaportrolls and WoW kiddys.

Finally, Tubesock fired a shot into the belly of the last member of the spawn. Snipes finished it off with a strong chop to the head.

"Sir, another wave incoming!" Shouted a soldier standing on top of the mansion. Snipes walked out of the courtyard to face down the wave of hellspawn charging towards him. About a hundred yards away, a mysterious shemale jumped out of nowhere and started screaming racial profanities. Snipes was ready to bring it down with his axe, but just before he had the chance, lightning flew from the abominations arms. It hit one of the GD'ers and chained into the rest, nearly completely destroying the army. The few survivors were quickly taken down soon after.

"That was incredible!" Snipes told the....thing. "Who are you?"

"FSHFGJESSICAPINK08HUFOIAE" replied the creature. Before it could say anything more, a random giant mallet marked "Branhammer" fell from the sky and crushed the beast.

"Oh....Kay?" The captain ran up to Snipes. Sir, we have several Un-identified Flying objects heading towards the mansion, what are your orders?"

Snipes looked out into the desert. He could barely make out dozens of large disks floating towards them. "Get everyone in the mansion, block off the doors, and get our AA set up."

"Yes sir!"

Krylas
10-17-2008, 02:16
As he made his way through the seemingly infinite number of cell blocks, Ozzy entertained himself by singing the theme song to "Charles in Charge". This began to draw attention when he came to the climactic finish, and hard to duck into what he suspceted to be a janitor's closet to avoid the incoming guards.
There was a flaw in his escape plan, however. After many late nights of blogging and drinking whatever he found that remotely resembled liquor, Ozzy had lost some of his eyesight. Thusly, he didn't notice the golden plac on the door. The title was written in the Alien alphabet, so for all he knew it could have said janitor, but placs usually signify importance. He had stumbled into the office of the jailer. Lucky for Oz, the Alien had fallen asleep due to his internet connection slowing to a halt during the mandatory seeding hour of The Notebook.

Ozzy stood still, waiting for the inevitable moment the jailer would wake up and send him to be probed. He stood there for what felt like an eternity, but the Alien resumed his deep sleep. He stomped the floor once, and even threw a rather large piece of dirt at the Jailer, but to no avail. "Damnit", he thought, "Apparently the probing will have to wait".
It was then that he spotted the set of laser-keys floating above the Alien's desk. The nameplate on his desk boar the name "Biggs". Walking slowly towards it, he got lost in the way his thighs rubbed against his sensiive areas. Bringing himself back to reality, he reached for the keys, but upon grabbing them triggered an alarm. Thinking fast, or as fast as you can with a semi-boner, he climbed into one of the lower compartments of the desk, where he could hear two guards approaching slower than to be expected.
Much to his surprise, they were speaking english.
"Probably false alarm...this guy been trouble sense they hired him."
"Yah, but with the...budget? Is that the word? Budget cuts, you know they've been hiring a lot of underqualified."
"You good at this english thing. I look at sexy human pictures in class".
"My point exactly"
"Que?"
They entered the door.
"ER:iherale;ghahr"
"No shit he's asleep. and If you don't practice you're never going to get your english down.
"I know, but it's long and hard."
Ozzy snickered to himself. Somewhere on earth, a Mime sneezed.
"Shut up. Look, he's not asleep, he's passed out."
"Musta been digging through human waste again. What the bottle?
"It reads...R,o,o,f,i,e,s. Whatever the fuck that is."
Ozzy jumped, rocking the desk.
"What the fuck is Biggs keeping in there, a dog?
"Dog?"
"How did you get hired again? Whatever. Revive him. Taser?"
It took 3 shots to finally get Biggs to groan, and he rolled over out of his chair. Realizing the situation, he stood up and ordered the men to snap to attention.
"Fuck off. What's the alarm for?"
"ejal;eighjal,greahejr;lhjerh, fjea;jerih" Biggs exclaimed.
"I know you don't understand this language, that's why I use it...it makes me superior to you. Hell, even kellorkleft here knows a little bit. You can refer to me as Lethn, by the way.
"LGeal;ge,alhrhiar,rehjhertjhergL G:EHIL:HEILGHEIL!!!!"
"Fine, I'll stop. This is the 5th time you've fogotten to press the key safe release buton, however. Mind if we search you for the cause?"
"eagjle."
"Oh right. eagah,greihr;ragwfe,g235lakg?"
Ozzy couldn't make out the rest of the conversation, for they were speaking in their native tongue. Through a partially opened door he could see the guards leaving with a confiscated garden hose and bottle of lube.
Unable to help himself, Ozzy lunged for the lube.

heroshade
10-17-2008, 06:54
After a quickfix on the front door, General Sir Snipes ordered everyone front and center. The troops got into formation and stood at attention. Snipes began. "Tubesock, I want you to.... Tubesock? Wheres the captain?" One of the soldiers spoke up. "He's busy setting up the AA turrets sir. All the other officers in our squad are dead."

Snipes paced the floor for a moment. "Okay, fine. You! What is your name?" He pointed at a random soldier in the group. "Uhhh, Mark Taker sir." The General Sir clapped his hands happily. "Alright private Taker, I'm putting you in charge of this squad. I want you to lead them with honor and dignity in your name."

"But sir I-" Snipes pulled a gun and shot the man in the heart. "Don't interupt me! YOU! NAME!"

"Chris Stroker sir!"

"Alright private Stroker, your in charge. I'm going to do some reconnaissance. If I'm not back by 2100 hours," He paused for affect. "I want you to blow up the mansion. With everyone inside it."

Private Stroker gave him a shocked look. "Everyone sir?"

"Yes, everyone. We don't accept defeat here."

With that, Snipes kicked open the glued up splintered remains of the front door and took off into the desert.

End of Episode one


Next time, on

FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

Snipes: My god, what is that!?
*Scene switch, and dramatic music*
???: I've been watching you Bruno... Closely...
*Scene switch*
Ozzy: What!? NO! NOOO!
*Scene switch*
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN!
Snipes: Get down!!!


((Hey, if anybody wants a part in this national epic, feel free to write yourself in.))

Hitom
10-17-2008, 07:50
Somewhere in a dark quiet room.

Bruno stood before the beaten an tied up intruder, still trying to get a comprehensive response from the man. "I will ask you one more time" "What section do you hail from?" The intruder look at him for some seconds, then lett out a small smirk. "This is no laughing matter!" "I need to know if your a friend or foe" The intruder look at him, smiled, and yelled "Foe!"

A piercing sound shattered the dark room. Bruno fell to his knees, holding his troath in shivering pain. He had been cut. The intruder had managed to salvage some of his broken bong's class pices, which he had used to cut the rope and his captive.

"Well, now that thats over with, I should return to my misson. Right after I find my stash."

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door. "Bruno! Open the door, we brought the interigation equipment you wanted" The intruder looked around for something to defend himself with, but all he could find was a toaster with a lipstick smiley on it. The man thought to himself "A toaster with a smile! It must be telling me something" He quickly returned to reality when he heard the soldier outside the door knocking. "Bruno! Whats the hold up? Are you there?" silence, the intruder was trying to figure out what to do, blazed thoughts running trough his head.

"Bruno, im knocking the door down!" *thump, thump, BANG!"
The door bust open, 3 soldiers stormed inn. "Bruno! oh my god! what happend?" The soldier rushed him off to the emergency room.

Half an hour later, in the wery same dark room. The intruder returned to consciousness. He had been knocked under the heavy metal door when the troops stormed inn, too blazed out of his mind to think of any other solution to escape. But now that he was sober, what happens then?

He exited the room. The corridor outside seemed to go on forever, with more doors then he could count on 5 hands. "Am I underground?" He thought, while trying to decied which dircetion he should go. "I should find my stash, then locate the informant" He began walking towards what looked like an elevator. Just as he was about to enter it, the doors closed, and the elevator began to move upward. "Shit, more trouble." He looked for a place to hide. Nowhere, the corridor was empty. The elevator had allready began moving down again. He was now praying to himself that whatever comes out of that elevator, better be some kind of carebear with no pvp experience.

The elevator came down again. He tightened his fist, ready to sucker punch whatever came out. The doors slowly opened. Out of it came two people that didnt look like soldiers at all. Baffled by the sudden turn of events, the intruder asked em what they where up to down here? they both looked at him with gleamy eyes and responded with a "Wow golds sell wery low price, happy customers allways". "Yeah, ok, do you sell weed?" The smallest of them pulled out a dimebag. "This make customer happy?" "Yes, wery happy" the intruder responded, right before he jumped up and put a knee to the other guys troath, the farmer passed out, while the other farmer was screaming in fear and terror. "No, plz, i fix you wery nice price, no need for lethality". The intruder smirked, "heh, how about some agony then?" the farmer looked confused, but quickly realised what horrible act was about to fall upon him, as the intruder grabbed the knocked out farmers head and jammed it inside the other farmers rectum.

The intruder took his dimebag and entered the elevator.

Might edit some parts later.

Thaeds
10-17-2008, 07:56
Is this thread worth reading?

Hitom
10-17-2008, 07:57
Is this thread worth reading?

I found it quite enjoyable, but then again, im easily amused.

Layedballer
10-17-2008, 08:01
Is this thread worth reading?

Yes

Layedballer
10-17-2008, 08:02
You can kidnap Bruno if you want :/

Part incoming.
I would love it :sly:

heroshade
10-17-2008, 14:39
Heeeeey, don't kill Bruno! Or private Stroker. They're somewhat main characters, lol.

Hitom
10-17-2008, 14:42
Heeeeey, don't kill Bruno! Or private Stroker. They're somewhat main characters, lol.

Bruno isnt necesarliy dead, the soldiers carried him away.

stoner guy only killed two chinese farmers.

Aragoni
10-17-2008, 15:00
MAYHEM!!!!!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq3Jkw6POwc&feature=related)

Lictor
10-17-2008, 16:04
Since when it became like RolePlaying here? You really need Jesus... and Darkfall, people!

Hitom
10-17-2008, 18:52
Since when it became like RolePlaying here? You really need Jesus... and Darkfall, people!

Its a funny story, just watch out, my character is totally ninja, hes gonna fuck everbody up.

Hitom
10-17-2008, 19:31
Somewhere in a dark quiet room.There are 3 men bickering, bickering over who will die first. Yes, the bickering is in fact quite intense, two of them are mad at the other, because he wont tell them who they are, fists are flying in one after another, landing helplessly undefendable in the face of a guy that is so far out of his mind, that all he can really do about it all is laugh it up.

After 6 hours of bloody beating, the guy getting beaten up never stops laughing. This frightens the Baron, so he calls for a break to try and get some better equipment in here, because this maniac clearly has been beaten up more then once in a life time. The Baron tells Bruno to stay and watch the prisoner.

Bruno stood before the beaten an tied up intruder, still trying to get a comprehensive response from the man. "I will ask you one more time" "What section do you hail from?" The intruder look at him for some seconds, then lett out a small smirk. "This is no laughing matter!" "I need to know if your a friend or foe" The intruder looked at him, smiled, and yelled "Nemesis"

A piercing sound shattered the dark room. Bruno fell to his knees, holding his troath in shivering pain. He had been cut. The intruder had managed to salvage some of his broken bong's class pices, which he had used to cut the rope and his captive.

"Well, now that thats over with, I should return to my misson. Right after I find my stash."

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door. "Bruno! Open the door, we brought the interigation equipment you wanted"; "The Baron had to leave though, he said something urgent had come up, and said to tell you that you have to find out everything about the prisoner, in the next 24 hours, or we are all fucked, and yeah, I do mean proper fucked like the germans fucked its way trhough europe in world war 2"

The intruder looked around for something to defend himself with, but all he could find was a toaster with a lipstick smiley on it. The man thought to himself "A toaster with a smile! It must be telling me something" He quickly returned to reality when he heard the soldier outside the door knocking. "Bruno! Whats the hold up? Are you there?" silence, the intruder was trying to figure out what to do, blazed thoughts running trough his head.

"Bruno, im knocking the door down!" *thump, thump, BANG!"
The door bust open, 3 soldiers stormed inn. "Bruno! oh my god! what happend?" The soldier rushed him off to the emergency room.

Half an hour later, in the wery same dark room. The intruder returned to consciousness. He had been knocked under the heavy metal door when the troops stormed inn, too blazed out of his mind to think of any other solution to escape. But now that he was sober, what happens then?

"My fucking head hurts" He thought to himself, well, no good thinking about it, thinking only makes his brain hurt when is head was hurting.
He exited the room. The corridor outside seemed to go on forever, with more doors then he could count on 5 hands. "Am I underground?" He thought, while trying to decied which dircetion he should go. "I should find my stash, then locate the informant"

The Intruder jabbed 3 fingers into his left eye, removed it from his skull, and sent it hurling down the hallway like a tennis ball shooten out of a tennis cannon.

"Elevator confirmed" He thought, while he began running down the naked hallway. After about 15 minutes, he reached the elevator. When he finally reached it, somebody was getting off. "Shit he thought, more guards?"

He looked around, messaured the hallway length, bred and height. Then spring jumped up like a bunny. A shame that he forgot about his eye though.

Outside came to goofy looking teenagers, which jumped in terror at the sight of the Intruder's eyeball lying on the floor.

One of them picked his eyeball up, looked into it, showed it to his friend, and yelled, "EBAY!"
The Intruder jumped down behind em, they turned around, peered right into the Intruders empty eye socket. The teenagers screamed in agony and pain like they where being manhandled by the old devil himself.

"Look kids, im not here to hurt you, I just want your weed, then we can all go home and celebrate, well, I will be doing the celebrating, you guys would probably just sit around and bitch about how a guy with one eye managed to steal your weed from you."

The teenagers where still paralyzed with fear. They didnt move an inch.
"Guess i should help em" he thought.
The Intruder helped em get him to rob them.

He ended up with about 2 dime bags, 3 grams of coke, and two full 0,5l bottles of adrenokrom.

Lets just say he is gonna be in for one hell of a fight.

Temet nosce
10-17-2008, 20:26
The Baron sighed in irritation at Snipe's request and after a moment dropped absentmindedly into the chair Snipe's had vacated, and swiveled around to smile at Bruno diffidently, "Why don't you go ahead and play with out guest for a few hours, I know how much you enjoy that.", Bruno responded with a massive childlike smile and got up moving his massive body over to in front of the prisoner and looking him over with glee. After a few minutes of Bruno rubbing his hands together he began to beat him with what looked like gentleness so he wouldn't break "his" toy to quickly.

Baron Von Nosce looked on fondly like a proud parent for a few minutes before distracting himself by looking through the records of current prisoners they were holding, and lighting up a cigar. As a he hummed to himself and puffed contentedly he stumbled upon a name that made him pause of a sudden, before a a faint unnerving chuckle started in his chest and built into a gleeful cackle. This cut off shortly as Bruno glanced over, and the Baron gestured with his cigar for Bruno to continue playing with his gibbering, laughing, toy, "Why don't you keep playing with your new toy Bruno, I'll be back in a few hours. Something more important has come up.", with that he left, gleefully rubbing his hands, his eyes almost glowing.

The Baron stalked through the hallways so quickly that few people noticed him coming, and when they saw him they stumbled or ducked into doorways as he moved past. As he went he called ahead ordering a prisoner readied and sent to one of his interrogation rooms.

He arrived in mere minutes, and yet when he got there he suddenly stopped and licked his lips staring at the defiant Grecian with an icy smile on his lips, before speaking "Why, I had no idea we had such an... Illustrious prisoner under our care!", then Grecian glared and snarled "I will tell you nothing!", as the Baron smiled his genial smile and remarks "Oh I'm not asking any questions." The screams started seconds later, but the humming never changed.

Several hours later, the Baron's humming has built to a crescendo as he carefully finishes a finicky piece of work, every so delicately removing the the last connection of skin to the front of his new friend who raves incoherently about what he can tell him now. The Baron finally takes a step back to examine his handiwork as the humming fades "Well now my dear compatriot, did you actually think we didn't know about your meeting.", the man responded immediately, doing anything to keep the Baron talking "I'm sorry, you're right of course you knew. We were unworthy to be shown such things by the great Tasos.", the Baron nods mildly "Yes, you were, yet are not those things truly incredible?" the man nods rapidly "Yes, the news that they are testing the beginning of the great war is truly awe inspiring, indeed! It truly makes me happy!", at this the Baron's lips part slightly and a thready unnerving high pitched laughter comes out for a few seconds before he whirls to a computer console on the opposite side of the room and begins typing, "I'm sorry my friend, but my devices can complete your skinning. I must tell the others the good news, thank you so much!", the man moans and screams in horror as the Baron leaves the room scapel still in hand, covered in bloody clothing, full deep laughter coming from him.

heroshade
10-18-2008, 00:56
All the above stuff can be considered part of



A Fallen Angel and a Broken Halo


Snipes stared in awe at the massive disks floating past him. They were a dark purplish color with a dominating green crystal in the center. There was a rail of turrets spinning in the opposite direction of each disk. Each ship had to be at least two hundred feet across.

Suddenly, one of the disks stopped in front of the rock Snipes was hiding behind. Had they seen him? No. There was a coyote just twenty yards away. The turrets on the disk unleashed a hellstorm of purple lasers, obliterating the coyote in fractions of a second. Snipes knew there was no way the mansion could stand up to that kind of firepower. He also knew that if he could find a way into one of those ships, he could probably find his way to the control room. The only problem was, how could he get into one?

He could run out and hope they would try and capture him, but he didn't want to alert them and risk being probed. "Awww ta hell with it!" He said as he ran out into the open.

Meanwhile on the Brokeback,

"Woah, woah, what was that!?" Shouted one of the aliens in the control room. "I- I'm sorry. I thought it was one of those GD'ers. Those things scare the blorg out of me."

"Blorg? What the hell- Nevermind, just don't go blasting every creature you see. that isn't our mission here."

"Yes lord Alucard." The alien commander exited the control room. Suddenly, the pilot saw something on the moniter. One of the Earth creatures; humans; had run out from behind a rock. His first impulse was

"KILL IT!" He shouted. "No!" One of the cockpit crew pushed his hand away from the control panel. "You heard Alucard. Beam him up."

"God, this crew is so carebear..." Said the pilot as he engaged the tractor beam, pulling the human into the ship.

Meanwhile again...

Bruno lay in the bed, his massive legs nearly going over the end and touched the ground. The intruder was apparently more than just some stupid stoner. He was a stupid stoner ninja; a dangerous combination. Although there was great pain in his neck, Bruno was never crippled for long. He was largely proned to being shot, stabbed, maimed, beaten, and blown up in his line of work. It didn't affect him much. What he lacked (greatly I might add) in intelect, he made up for in brute, almost superhuman, strength.

Suddenly, Bruno noticed someone at the side of his bed. Someone he hadn't seen, or even heard, enter the room. It was a man in a robe and hood. Bruno couldn't see his face. The man spoke.

"I've been watching you Bruno.... Closely..." Bruno tried to grab the man, but found that his arms wouldn't move. He soon realized that no matter how hard he tried, nothing on his body would move. The man held up a syringe and said with a devilish grin: "I don't think you need to do that."

"Wie.... Wie heist du?" He managed to ask.

"You see Bruno, I've been looking for someone who could-"

"Wie heist d-"

"I don't speak german you ass grape, let me speak! I am Layedballer. Your new master." Another, smaller hooded man stepped out of the shadows and produced a small remote. After a few seconds of inputing some code, there was a green flash, and the three of them were somewhere else. Somewhere.... stranger.

Meanwhile AGAIN

In the main entrance hall of the mansion, private Stroker was trying his best to instruct his men on how to hold back the oncoming assult. He really wished he could call on some of the unit's black-ops to help them. Or at least some of the bunker crew.

The day General Sir Snipe's PMC unit took control of the mansion, they began construction of a large underground bunker to be used as a base of operations in that section of the country. Unfourtunetly, the majority of the unit was to stay in the bunker and help construct it.

"Okay," Stroker said. "Someone go on the roof and go find the captain. I don't want this job." None of the men stepped forward. "Ummm.... Come on, who wants to go?" Nobody moved. "What? I don't want to lead! One of you guys take over!" Again, nobody moved, and Stroker didn't have the balls to order anybody to do anything. "Doh, fine! I'll go find him!"

The private walked away from his squad and traversed up the stairs to try and find Tubesock.

Back on the Brokeback

Snipes emerged in a large tube with strange creatures surrounding him, examining him. He still had his axe. One of them gave an order to it's inferior. Much to his surprise, Snipes understood him.

"Open it." said the alien commander. Snipes grinned as the alien began typing into the console.

Jackhowitzer
10-18-2008, 01:29
I just murmaidered everyone in the story. The end.

heroshade
10-18-2008, 01:30
I just murmaidered everyone in the story. The end.

Murmaidered?

HorrorHotel
10-18-2008, 01:43
tl;dr, but this isn't OT-worthy. This definitely belongs in the RP forums.

heroshade
10-18-2008, 01:47
tl;dr, but this isn't OT-worthy. This definitely belongs in the RP forums.

No, because it is a story about shit and people that are in OT. Plus, the people in the RP forum only post in that crappy zombie RP thread.

Nefastus
10-18-2008, 01:52
FORUMFALL: REALITY
------------------------------------
DukeWessex: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
Surly: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
DukeWessex: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
Surly: haha, ok lets go.
Surly: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
DukeWessex: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
Surly: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
Surly: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
DukeWessex: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
Surly: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
DukeWessex: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
Surly: stop, cmon be serious.
DukeWessex: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
DukeWessex: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
Surly: thats it.
DukeWessex: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
DukeWessex: Goddam am I hard now.
--------------------------------------

heroshade
10-18-2008, 01:54
Ha! Now I have to make DukeWessex a rhino in the story.

Krylas
10-22-2008, 07:13
Ozzy was immediately brought down and cuffed, the lube skidding across the floor a good 10 feet from where he lay. Almost in tears, he was brought to his feet and shoved in the direction of the door. He couldn't make out the voices of the two guards he had assaulted, for they were speaking in their native tongue. Suddenly he felt an electric shock in his genitals, sending his world reeling in a mix of pleasure and agony, mostly agony.
Everything went black.

He awoke dazed, and confused as usual. His testicles tingled, and when he looked down he found his trousers had a burnt hole in them, and his erection flickered with electricity like a lighting rod. Hiding his embarrassment, he stumbled towards a circle of people that seemed to be participating in some kind of circle-jerk.

"I walk into the room, you are in nothing but a bathrobe..." One man said in an effeminate voice.
"Can I be an elf?" Ozzy couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman.
"Could you handle my thick Dwarfish punishment?"
A new voice sounded. "Punishment? Ha! Everyone knows an elf is only satisfied with an Ork."
Suddenly, it hit Ozzy, hit him Like a Semi-truck driver not paying attention to the road because the hooker he hired was trying something new with her ear.
Roleplayers.
_______________________
Feel free to write in your own piece, just make it fit into the story.

Hitom
10-22-2008, 08:40
The Intruder had managed to escape his captives.

After he exited the elevator, he came straight out into the grand hall of the mansion, the place looked like it came straight out of some lords mansion from the 15'th century. Shining knight armors, all placed in a circle around the hall, illuminated the dark corners of the grand hall. The intruder stoped and looked in amazement. "Whoa, shiny!". The intruder stood there in amazement for a few sec, because all the knights where placed up in a such a perfect order, that they all reflected a tiny bit of light, of the tip their spears, which created a really big light in the middel of the room.

*Beep, Beep, Beep,*
It was the intercom inside his head beeping.
"Yes, come in Admiral."
Loads of scrambling noises shouted trough the intercom.
"Mordseth, do you copy?"
The intercom was busted. Bruno had managed to do a fine job on his head.
"Mord****, th* miss*** i* abo**** the* fo*** yo** con****
Fuck this thing he thought to himself, he understood the message. But there was no way in hell he was leaving this place without having a spliff first.

He sat down on an old medival couch from the 15'th century. Which was placed nicely right in the middel of two knights. Their spears still tipping forward, shining the light towards the middel of the room. Half a minute later he lighted his newly rolled joint. The sparkles of the flame danced off the tip of the joint. After awhile he could feel the rush of THC circulating his brain again. He sat studying the light for a little while, untill he decieded to try something. 3 finger jabbed into his eye socket, he removed his left eye, tied it to a string, and hurled it towards the light. A crackling sound shouted trough the room. Mordseth pulled his eye back. He was quite amazed at what he saw with his left eye. The knights had all rushed towards the middel of the room, trying to attack his eyeball. Afterwards they all returned to their original position.

The door at the other end of the hall flew open, 10 soldiers stormed inside. Mordseth jumped up and hid in the celing of the hall.
"You guys, check those corners, you there, come with me!" The officer in charge shouted orders at the soldiers.
"What are these guys? Fallers? Or GD'ers?" Mordseth was contemplating about what to do.
The soldiers where lining up around the room. "Sir, there are no signs of any enemy activitiy in this are."
"The knights dont malfunction damnit! He must still be in the vacinity, search the entire area, search the damn roof if you have too."
"Oh fuck" Mordseth thought, right before he jabbed his eye and lett it slip down on the light.
15 knights with razor sharp spear edges had all rushed towards the light, impaling 8 soldiers and cutting 1 on their way. The soldiers screamed their last breaths in agony and curses.

The officer looked up into the celing. "Ha! Found you!" A crackling whipping sound pierced the silence of the room. His arm exteended towards the celing, grabbing Mordseth by the leg and slamming him down on the light. Mordseth could see 15 knights with 8 dead soldiers on some of their spears come rushing towards him. The officer still had his arm around Mord's leg. Mord lifted his leg up to the point where his arm was illuminated by the light. Crunching loud noises shouted trough the room as the arm was sliced off.

"Ha!" The officer had a wickedly grin on his face.
"If you do not mind, could you tell me your name before I send you to an early grave?"
Mordseth looked at the man for a few seconds, before he burst out into a laughing frenzy.
"Whats so damn funny!?" The officer shouted, he was starting to get the fear.
"You're the funny ofcourse, you standing there acting all tuff after I just owned 8 of your soldiers with your own defense system"
"Those may have been some easy targets, but I wont fall that easy"
Mordseth jumped up and rushed towards the officer. He could hear the knights rushing back and forth behind him as he was closing in on his target. He tightend his fist, and managed to land an uppercut in the officers jaw, which sent him flying upwards. Mord followed up with a juggling triple flying kicks combo of asskickery. The officer fell down on the ground, coughing up blood.
"You bastard, I underestimated you" The officer spat his last blood and breath.
Mord looted the corpse of the officer, he found a gun, and an ID card. "This will probably be usefull."

After glancing over the room, he saw a sign that said "WC". He headed straight for it.
The bathrooms interior was decorated with wallpapers of an old scrawny guy with texts like "Ron Paul for Prez!"
"Who?" He thought, while readying his cocaine for consumption.

Layedballer
10-31-2008, 06:48
We need more, I would write if I wasn't so busy!
Also
<3 for temet for adding me

TubeSock
10-31-2008, 07:49
Make sure the story ends with us fighting off all the aliens with by crushing them with our massive penises and then riding off into the horizon with Layedballer on DukeWessex's rhino back to go get sundaes.

Krylas
10-31-2008, 07:51
Make sure the story ends with us fighting off all the aliens with by crushing them with our massive penises and then riding off into the horizon with Layedballer on DukeWessex's rhino back to go get sundaes.

Wait, people are actually reading this?

Layedballer
10-31-2008, 07:53
We need more, I would write if I wasn't so busy!
Also
<3 for temet for adding me

oops wrote temet meant snipes ahh too many people

Layedballer
10-31-2008, 07:56
Wait, people are actually reading this?

Yes, it's a decent break from the countless political/religious threads

Layedballer
10-31-2008, 14:45
The prelude to chaos
Part 1:

A man sat by himself at a bar, hidden underneath the hood of his cloak, slowly drinking, a metal rod held to his side, gently tapping his chair. As he took his final gulp he noticed another man sit next to him, out of all the chairs that were open, this man chose the one next to him. The man pulled off his hood, "the fuck you sitting next to for bithc?" he asked angrily.
"Listen dingle-berry, I'll sit whereever the fuck I want, when I want." the man angrily relplied.
The first man stared into his eyes, a smile pulling across his face, he already liked this stranger,"So tell me, what do you go by?" he asked.
The stranger looked around, "You may call me Temet, and you?"
"Just call me layed"
"Why is that?"
"You'll find out soon enough, after all, it is 4/22"
"Ah yes Tepes day" replied Temet with a grin on his face.
"You know of Tepes, and his day?"
"But of course, he is my idol, I only hope to perfect my method to be like his!"
"We shall team up then, and together we will do what Tepes wanted to do, we shall impale the world!"
The too nodded and took long gulps from their mugs. At that moment a drunken man bumped into their backs,
"move faggotsss" he slurred.
"We shall start with him?" said Temet looking over his shoulder.
"Indeed" retorted layed extending his metal bar...
TO BE CONTINUED
maybe

heroshade
03-06-2009, 04:52
I know it's tacky to necro your own thread, but I think this needs to continue...

Crazy Hermit
03-06-2009, 05:06
I know it's tacky to necro your own thread, but I think this needs to continue...

5000+ posts. Congratulations. I just noticed that.

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:07
5000+ posts. Congratulations. I just noticed that.

Thanks, now read and make yourself a part in the greatest soap opera to ever exist!!

Ozzy Wrong
03-06-2009, 05:07
Ok, I'll bite.

Ozzy backed up against the bars of his cell, astonishment and horror across his face. Not only were they roleplayers, but fantasy ones.
The one calling itself the "Elf" glanced over at him. Ozzy's lightning rod genitalia sparked.
"It seems we have a newcomer. Would you like to join in?"
"I...uh..."
"We're on a pirate ship. Ray here is about to get a cannonball up the ass"
"We've tried before, but that was before we thought of using the cannon!" The man named Ray cheered exuberently.
Ozzy stumbled forward. He told himself he needed to befriend these people, that they were his way out of here, but the electricity warping istelf around his privates told him otherwise. He sat down next to the "Elf", who appeared to be a man, albeit a very feminine one. He winked, and Ozzy's undergarments charred a bit more. The ground was cold and wet, but he could see no water source near. He tried not to pay attention to the damp underside of his trousers as Ray started talking again.

Sex scene forthcoming?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON FICTION MAYHEM!
(No.)

Crazy Hermit
03-06-2009, 05:17
Murmaidered?

Murmaider (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRJCXymlWxg)

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:19
FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

SEASON TWO!!

Previously on CSI: Miami….

Tubesock: Sir, we have GD’ers coming from the east.
*Scene switch and dramatic music*
Pvt. Stroker: Somebody go find the captain and tell him I don’t want to be in charge.
*Switch*
Baron Von Nosce: Bruno, I have business to attend to. Please keep our guest…. Entertained.
*Switch*
Ozzy: VH1?
*cut to black*
Snipes: Bruno….. Bring me my axe.
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

And now, the season premier of FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM.

Somewhere in Arizona
Aboard command ship Brokeback
1100 hours


Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the Third sat suspended in a tube upon the alien command ship. “Open it.” Barked the apparent captain of the ship. One of the strange beings began typing into a control console. The others raised their pulse rifles, training their sites on the human. There was a loud hissing, and the tube opened. Snipes put his hands up with a sly grin, letting his axe fall to the floor. The captain eyed him for a moment. “We’ll interrogate him after we destroy the units to the west. Take him to block I-69.” Two of the beings grabbed the General Sir and began walking him down a hallway. Another picked up his axe and followed close behind.

Meanwhile….

Private Stroker peaked out of the mansion’s roof hatch. He could see captain Tubesock overlooking the assembly of the anti-air cannons. “Hurry up!” The captain barked at his men. “If these guns aren’t up soon, those…. Things are going to be on us like Matriel on a political debate!”

Stroker walked timidly up to the officer. “Ummm, si-“ “WHAT!?” The private let out a light yelp. “G-General Sir Snipes left. You’re the only officer here.”

There was a moment of silence. “AND!?” Again, Stroker flinched and the mere sound of the captain’s voice. “Well….. He left me in charge. I’m not meant to lead sir.”

It took Tubesock every fiber of his being to not soulrape the pathetic fool that stood before him. “You have your orders soldier. What’s your name?”

“Private Chris Stroker sir!”

“Alright Private Stroker, first, I want you to contact gunnery-sergeant M0j0man dropkick shitwhatzit, and give him coordinates to the mansion. Tell him the General Sir wants him to station his unit at our front.”

“Yes sir!” Stroker shouted and ran back down to the main room.

“Fuckin’ moron…” muttered the captain before turning back to his men.

Back on the Brokeback, Snipes was put in a cell with several other human prisoners. One sat in the corner with his hand covering his crotch, the rest stood in a circle whispering among themselves. Roleplayers… the General Sir thought to himself. The man stumbled weakly towards one of the “Elves” and sat down. It was at this moment that Snipes realized that his feet were wet. Not the kind of wet that they get when water gets in the carpet either. It was…. The evil kind of wet. Still, these man-things might have been his only way out of this room….

NEXT TIME ON FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM!!

Soldier: Sir, we just detected a heavy concentration of ‘09ers headed this way!
*Dramatic music and scene switch*
RPer: Somebody needs to lube up the cannon
*Switch*
Alien: My lord, the ‘09ers have been deployed. They should be at the mansion within the hour.
*Switch*
Tubesock: Pull back to the mansion!!
*Switch to scene of ‘09ers flooding into the mansion doors, heavy gunfire in the background.*
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

Snipes: We need to work together if we want to get out of this with our ass virginity…

DUNNNN!!

lilyeti
03-06-2009, 05:22
FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

SEASON TWO!!

Previously on CSI: Miami….

Tubesock: Sir, we have GD’ers coming from the east.
*Scene switch and dramatic music*
Pvt. Stroker: Somebody go find the captain and tell him I don’t want to be in charge.
*Switch*
Baron Von Nosce: Bruno, I have business to attend to. Please keep our guest…. Entertained.
*Switch*
Ozzy: VH1?
*cut to black*
Snipes: Bruno….. Bring me my axe.
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

And now, the season premier of FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM.

Somewhere in Arizona
Aboard command ship Brokeback
1100 hours


Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the Third sat suspended in a tube upon the alien command ship. “Open it.” Barked the apparent captain of the ship. One of the strange beings began typing into a control console. The others raised their pulse rifles, training their sites on the human. There was a loud hissing, and the tube opened. Snipes put his hands up with a sly grin, letting his axe fall to the floor. The captain eyed him for a moment. “We’ll interrogate him after we destroy the units to the west. Take him to block I-69.” Two of the beings grabbed the General Sir and began walking him down a hallway. Another picked up his axe and followed close behind.

Meanwhile….

Private Stroker peaked out of the mansion’s roof hatch. He could see captain Tubesock overlooking the assembly of the anti-air cannons. “Hurry up!” The captain barked at his men. “If these guns aren’t up soon, those…. Things are going to be on us like Matriel on a political debate!”

Stroker walked timidly up to the officer. “Ummm, si-“ “WHAT!?” The private let out a light yelp. “G-General Sir Snipes left. You’re the only officer here.”

There was a moment of silence. “AND!?” Again, Stroker flinched and the mere sound of the captain’s voice. “Well….. He left me in charge. I’m not meant to lead sir.”

It took Tubesock every fiber of his being to not soulrape the pathetic fool that stood before him. “You have your orders soldier. What’s your name?”

“Private Chris Stroker sir!”

“Alright Private Stroker, first, I want you to contact gunnery-sergeant M0j0man dropkick shitwhatzit, and give him coordinates to the mansion. Tell him the General Sir wants him to station his unit at our front.”

“Yes sir!” Stroker shouted and ran back down to the main room.

“Fuckin’ moron…” muttered the captain before turning back to his men.

Back on the Brokeback, Snipes was put in a cell with several other human prisoners. One sat in the corner with his hand covering his crotch, the rest stood in a circle whispering among themselves. Roleplayers… the General Sir thought to himself. The man stumbled weakly towards one of the “Elves” and sat down. It was at this moment that Snipes realized that his feet were wet. Not the kind of wet that they get when water gets in the carpet either. It was…. The evil kind of wet. Still, these man-things might have been his only way out of this room….

NEXT TIME ON FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM!!

Soldier: Sir, we just detected a heavy concentration of ‘09ers headed this way!
*Dramatic music and scene switch*
RPer: Somebody needs to lube up the cannon
*Switch*
Alien: My lord, the ‘09ers have been deployed. They should be at the mansion within the hour.
*Switch*
Tubesock: Pull back to the mansion!!
*Switch to scene of ‘09ers flooding into the mansion doors, heavy gunfire in the background.*
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

Snipes: We need to work together if we want to get out of this with our ass virginity…

DUNNNN!!

Captain Tubesock: Im not an ass virgin!!!!
*Snipes looked at him with admiration in his eyes.*

Ozzy Wrong
03-06-2009, 05:22
FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

SEASON TWO!!

Previously on CSI: Miami….

Tubesock: Sir, we have GD’ers coming from the east.
*Scene switch and dramatic music*
Pvt. Stroker: Somebody go find the captain and tell him I don’t want to be in charge.
*Switch*
Baron Von Nosce: Bruno, I have business to attend to. Please keep our guest…. Entertained.
*Switch*
Ozzy: VH1?
*cut to black*
Snipes: Bruno….. Bring me my axe.
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

And now, the season premier of FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM.

Somewhere in Arizona
Aboard command ship Brokeback
1100 hours


Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the Third sat suspended in a tube upon the alien command ship. “Open it.” Barked the apparent captain of the ship. One of the strange beings began typing into a control console. The others raised their pulse rifles, training their sites on the human. There was a loud hissing, and the tube opened. Snipes put his hands up with a sly grin, letting his axe fall to the floor. The captain eyed him for a moment. “We’ll interrogate him after we destroy the units to the west. Take him to block I-69.” Two of the beings grabbed the General Sir and began walking him down a hallway. Another picked up his axe and followed close behind.

Meanwhile….

Private Stroker peaked out of the mansion’s roof hatch. He could see captain Tubesock overlooking the assembly of the anti-air cannons. “Hurry up!” The captain barked at his men. “If these guns aren’t up soon, those…. Things are going to be on us like Matriel on a political debate!”

Stroker walked timidly up to the officer. “Ummm, si-“ “WHAT!?” The private let out a light yelp. “G-General Sir Snipes left. You’re the only officer here.”

There was a moment of silence. “AND!?” Again, Stroker flinched and the mere sound of the captain’s voice. “Well….. He left me in charge. I’m not meant to lead sir.”

It took Tubesock every fiber of his being to not soulrape the pathetic fool that stood before him. “You have your orders soldier. What’s your name?”

“Private Chris Stroker sir!”

“Alright Private Stroker, first, I want you to contact gunnery-sergeant M0j0man dropkick shitwhatzit, and give him coordinates to the mansion. Tell him the General Sir wants him to station his unit at our front.”

“Yes sir!” Stroker shouted and ran back down to the main room.

“Fuckin’ moron…” muttered the captain before turning back to his men.

Back on the Brokeback, Snipes was put in a cell with several other human prisoners. One sat in the corner with his hand covering his crotch, the rest stood in a circle whispering among themselves. Roleplayers… the General Sir thought to himself. The man stumbled weakly towards one of the “Elves” and sat down. It was at this moment that Snipes realized that his feet were wet. Not the kind of wet that they get when water gets in the carpet either. It was…. The evil kind of wet. Still, these man-things might have been his only way out of this room….

NEXT TIME ON FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM!!

Soldier: Sir, we just detected a heavy concentration of ‘09ers headed this way!
*Dramatic music and scene switch*
RPer: Somebody needs to lube up the cannon
*Switch*
Alien: My lord, the ‘09ers have been deployed. They should be at the mansion within the hour.
*Switch*
Tubesock: Pull back to the mansion!!
*Switch to scene of ‘09ers flooding into the mansion doors, heavy gunfire in the background.*
DUN
DUN
DUN
DUN

Snipes: We need to work together if we want to get out of this with our ass virginity…
Ozzy: Virginity?

DUNNNN!!
Fix't.
Oh, and I'm voting right now for Snipes to be played by David Carouso and Ozzy to be played by either John Stamos or that guy who played Fez in That 70's Show

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:23
Captain Tubesock: Im not an ass virgin!!!!
Snipes looked at him with admiration in his eyes.

SHHHHH!! the shows on!

EDIT: Oh, and it would probably go well to be said that Hitom's posts don't count.

Ozzy Wrong
03-06-2009, 05:27
SHHHHH!! the shows on!

EDIT: Oh, and it would probably go well to be said that Hitom's posts don't count.

You know what the shitty part is?
I have to go.
Keep it alive, I'll have an extensive post prepared for tomorrow!
It seems our paths intertwine...

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:32
You know what the shitty part is?
I have to go.
Keep it alive, I'll have an extensive post prepared for tomorrow!
It seems our paths intertwine...

Heh, great timing... We need Temet to come flay somebodies skin off, and I guess I have to do Layedballer's part since he isn't here anymore.

Crazy Hermit
03-06-2009, 05:35
Suddenly deep in the arizona desert near the nevada border,

a wormhole apearered. A dark figure emergerged out of the void and

laughed menacingly. "I am Dr. Clock, and this world shall be mine!

Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! No puny earthling can stop my

amazing control over time! And Without Justin Tyme to save them, All

show bow down to me or perish! Now Emerge! Rise forth from the depths

of time my army! Rise! Rise and seek vengeance upon the world that cut

you out of existance!" The sky grew dark. Then a rip in time appeared and

out spewed forth Ghengis Khan and his army of Zombie Mongaloids. And

Then Came Atilla the Hun and his hunnic horde. And right after that came

forth the army of the galactic empire, which had previously existed a long

time ago, in a galaxy far far away. And after that came The one who would

command all of this. Out emergerged Lethn, back with a vengeance and

ready to kill all of the forumfallers that had abandoned him to the darkness.

Dr. Clock smiled evily and said "Let us find the general of the army of

forumfall, and destroy everything he holds dear!" Then Lethn replied "I shall

make him beg for death before the end."


Meanwhile, at his secret hermit hut, the Crazy Hermit was rambling on

about an ancient hero named Justin Tyme. Apparently, he had stopped Dr.

Clock from ageing the universe 100 trillions years, which would have killed

every living thing in a 1 universe mile radius. Then after that, he faded

away into legend and soon became forgotten. But there was something

that Crazy knew that no others remembered. He knew the source of the

ancient heroes power, a secret locked away for many ages. He looked

through his magical Hermit spy stone and saw Dr. Clock arriving and raisng

the dead. He knew what he had to do.

To Be Continued.

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:39
The way you portrayed Lethn makes so much more sense than the way we already did... >.<

lilyeti
03-06-2009, 05:41
Add me to the story, make sure to give me a likable personality and wonderful hair.

Sycophant
03-06-2009, 05:41
Can I at least be a stunt double? :bang::bang::bang:

Crazy Hermit
03-06-2009, 05:42
The way you portrayed Lethn makes so much more sense than the way we already did... >.<

This one came out of a time warp. So it's possible to have more than one in the story.

heroshade
03-06-2009, 05:42
Can I at least be a stunt double? :bang::bang::bang:

Yeah, if you want to write it yourself.

lilyeti
03-06-2009, 05:43
Since no one ever checks the page before....Add me to the story, make sure to give me a likable personality and wonderful hair.

lilyeti
03-24-2009, 02:46
I really enjoy this piece of literature.

lilyeti
03-24-2009, 02:47
Hey look, I allready posted in this thread before, In fact, I was the last person to post i it.

swiftbuster
03-24-2009, 02:51
THE SERIES PREMIERE!

FORUMFALL: FICTION MAYHEM

Starring:

Heroshade as Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Esquire the third

Temet Nosce As Baron Von Nosce

Krylas as Ozzy

Hitom as .... stoner guy

Bruno as himself


EPISODE ONE

October 14th, 2008

Somewhere in the Arizona desert

The massive spinning disks floated slowly down to the ground, the large green crystals in the centers of each one glowed ominously. Mr. General Sir Jeffry Snipes Escquire the third stood at the window of the mansion he had siezed just days earlier, watching his men outside preparing for combat.

Suddenly, Snipes broke the silence. "Something is amiss, Bruno." The disturbingly large German man looked up from his coloring book. "Daaaaaamn dude!" the voice was maniacal and dark. Snipes turned to the source of the voice. "Where the hell did you come from!? Bruno! Sieze him!"

Bruno lunged towards the man, grabbing him and forcing his arm far behind his back. "Woah! Dude, I am so BLAZED right now, heh heh." Snipes approached him. "Who are you?"

Meanwhile...

Captain Tubesock paced in front of his troops barking orders at them. "I want those MGs set up five minutes ago! Get those sandbags up trooper! Private! Go find General Snipes and tell him our southern parameter is up and re-"

There was a crash off in the distance, followed by a loud whooshing sounds. Several more followed until finally, there was a short moment of silence. There was a rumbling sound from the horizon. Finally, the troops could see their adversaries. "Get down!" Barked Tubesock. "Take smart shots and preserve your ammo! Don't let them get past this line!" The horde of strange creatures drew closer every second. "FIRE!"

A hail of bullets tore away at the front lines of the massive hellspawn that was charging towards. "Oh my god..." Whispered the captain. "They aren't aliens. They're.... They're..... GD'ERS!" Some of the soldiers immediately broke formation and took off.

Back in the mansion...

"I'll only ask you this one more time." Snipes said harshly, ignoring the gunfire in the background. "Who ARE YOU!?" The man continued to look around aimlessly before spouting: "Okay, I'll talk. I'm uh.... uhhhhh.... Damn. I'mmmm.... Crap, I can't remember." He let out a goofy laugh, only to recieve a backhand to the face. "So be it."

Snipes walked over to the desk and hit the intercom button. "Bring in Baron Von Nosce." He demanded. "Right away General Sir."

Moments later, the sound of a door being smashed in could be heard. "Bruno," Snipes said, his eyes narrowing. "Bring me my axe."

Meanwhile...

I am plotting my vengeance for the backhand slap to the face.

heroshade
03-24-2009, 03:06
We now return to NCIS...


A sniper crouched nervously atop the roof of the mansion. He could already see the floating disks, which were glowing in the distance. Suddenly something caught his eye. There was somebody coming towards them. He peaked through his scope to get a better look.

The other side of the scope revealed a man riding a goat in their direction. He had magnificent blond/brown hair. "Sir, someone's coming!" the sniper reported to the captain. "If it isn't the General Sir or the Baron, shoot him."

Again, he raised the scope to his eyes and trained the crosshairs on the mans head. He brought his finger closer to the trigger... but he couldn't bring himself to defile such a beautiful head of hair (The sniper was an obvious closet case). "What's taking so god damn long!?" Captain Tubesock demanded. "I.... I can't do it sir..."

Tubesock made a B-line towards the sniper, shoved him over, and picked up the rifle himself. After scoping out the man on the goat, he quietly handed the sniper his rifle and walked back to the other soldiers on the roof.

"I want a squad to go out there and bring that man to me." He ordered. "I want to know who he is and what hes doing here."

The six men, following order like good soldiers, set off towards the goat-rider, weapons trained on his incredible head...

(I'm off my game.)

lilyeti
03-24-2009, 03:17
We now return to NCIS...


A sniper crouched nervously atop the roof of the mansion. He could already see the floating disks, which were glowing in the distance. Suddenly something caught his eye. There was somebody coming towards them. He peaked through his scope to get a better look.

The other side of the scope revealed a man riding a goat in their direction. He had magnificent blond/brown hair. "Sir, someone's coming!" the sniper reported to the captain. "If it isn't the General Sir or the Baron, shoot him."

Again, he raised the scope to his eyes and trained the crosshairs on the mans head. He brought his finger closer to the trigger... but he couldn't bring himself to defile such a beautiful head of hair (The sniper was an obvious closet case). "What's taking so god damn long!?" Captain Tubesock demanded. "I.... I can't do it sir..."

Tubesock made a B-line towards the sniper, shoved him over, and picked up the rifle himself. After scoping out the man on the goat, he quietly handed the sniper his rifle and walked back to the other soldiers on the roof.

"I want a squad to go out there and bring that man to me." He ordered. "I want to know who he is and what hes doing here."

The six men, following order like good soldiers, set off towards the goat-rider, weapons trained on his incredible head...

(I'm off my game.)

I couldn't stop smiling.

heroshade
03-24-2009, 03:19
I am plotting my vengeance for the backhand slap to the face. Huh?


I couldn't stop smiling.

Would you like to have a sexy Spanish accent to go with the hair?

lilyeti
03-24-2009, 03:22
Huh?



Would you like to have a sexy Spanish accent to go with the hair?

Scottish please :D Not sure how that would look written though...British if it makes it easier fr you.

heroshade
03-24-2009, 03:23
Scottish please :D Not sure how that would look written though...British if it makes it easier fr you.

Normal Scottish or Sean Connery Scottish?

lilyeti
03-24-2009, 03:24
Normal Scottish or Sean Connery Scottish?

Normal. :)