Something in my pants, again.

[hostileEffect]

Yeah, so I got out of the bed to get some milk and this thing is stinging my leg, figured it was one of those little winged bugs that got a little lost. So here I am, in the kitchen, shaking my pants, trying to get this thing out and guess what drops out?

A nice fat scorpion who was so cruel as to sting me once or twice on my left calf.

I don't want to know what would have happened if I went to sleep with this thing still in there... :shiver: I got a bench right next to my bed and I sleep under an olympic barbell, so if it stung there mumma would be hearing some racket in this end of the house.

The joys of Texas...

[Wickfield]

How big was it?

and did you kill it?

[Hyster]

so all you found in your pants was a scorpion?

[Ankh]

I have a "scorpion" in my pants.

he heh
he

[lastpatagonian]

well if he stops chatting in 15-30 minutes we will know it was poisonous.

[Hyster]

well if he stops chatting in 15-30 minutes we will know it was poisonous.

Very True +1
-1 if he has to suck it out

[hostileEffect]

I was guna squash it with a large pot but I figured id show my mum first, then I tossed it in the trash with some bug spray. This isn't the first time something crawled up my pants and bit/stung me...

-edit-

They sting and that is about it...

[heroshade]

You should have someone suck the poison out.

[Ammon777]

You should be calling 911 and not calling Forumfall, btw...

[nathanpinard]

Not all scorpions are poisonous. But there are a lot that are.

[Grim_Hellfire]

well the OP is fine since he said they sting only .... no venom

[Wickfield]

well the OP is fine since he said they sting only .... no venom

Bees, wasps, and hornets all "sting", and transfer venom to their victims.

Stinging can deliver venom.

[Ankh]

well the OP is fine since he said they sting only .... no venom

Did you ever stop to think for a second that the scorpion he got stung by turned him into a zombie, tricking us into believing the zombie scorpion wasn't poisonous?

Didn't think so, tool.

[Hyster]

Did you ever stop to think for a second that the scorpion he got stung by turned him into a zombie, tricking us into believing the zombie scorpion wasn't poisonous?

Didn't think so, tool.

ill have what hes drinking

[Pinkboy]

whoa, a scorpian?? that's crazy:ohno:

[Ankh]

ill have what hes drinking

I drink water that isn't injected with fluoride. Your bodily fluids are tainted!

[TubeSock]

Better hope it was a girl or you're probably gay.

[Grim_Hellfire]

Did you ever stop to think for a second that the scorpion he got stung by turned him into a zombie, tricking us into believing the zombie scorpion wasn't poisonous?

Didn't think so, tool.
NOOO!!!! That's top secret information :ohno:, was trying to cover up the experiment :bang:
and p.s : you should try eating the scorpion and say "who's your daddy now"

[emasame]

shouldve cooked and eaten that fucker for messin.

[Metal Wolf]

shouldve cooked and eaten that fucker for messin.
Most defiantly this approach.

[heroshade]

NOOO!!!! That's top secret information :ohno:, was trying to cover up the experiment :bang:
and p.s : you should try eating the scorpion and say "who's your daddy now"

I got stung in eighth grade and poured a glass of everclear, then dipped the scorpion in it until it eventually shrivled up and died.

[Ammon777]

I got stung in eighth grade and poured a glass of everclear, then dipped the scorpion in it until it eventually shrivled up and died.

Thats alcohol abuse. WTF.

[Hyster]

Better hope it was a girl or you're probably gay.

i have a G3 with 20gigs of porn that says im straight
if you dont believe that tell me why that sheep is walking funny

[Lioness]

Oh my gawd....

Seriously?

I would shit myself...

Like... I would have a heart attack... I can hardly handle it when I wake up with a spider on me... I can't even imagine a scorpion...

Note to self: Avoid Texas.

[Ankh]

i have a G3 with 20gigs of porn that says im straight
if you dont believe that tell me why that sheep is walking funny

You have a G3 and you are straight? Give me a break.

[Xalren]

whoa, a scorpian?? that's crazy:ohno:

Silly Wisconsin man, Texas is a fun place.

If it makes you feel better, people swallow at least 9 spiders a year in their sleep. Though I am sure you already knew that.

[heroshade]

Oh my gawd....

Seriously?

I would shit myself...

Like... I would have a heart attack... I can hardly handle it when I wake up with a spider on me... I can't even imagine a scorpion...

Note to self: Avoid Texas.


Wolf spiders hate me.

My bathroom is basicly a small room with a bigass mirror across from the door. So I wake up one night and walk into the bathroom. I hit the lightswitch, and in the mirror, theres a HUGE spider on the door next to my head and it just jumps down next to my foot.

Scared the shit outa me.

[Hyster]

You have a G3 and you are straight? Give me a break.

yep found it in the school dumpester

[ejnomad07]

Stings of North American Scorpions are nothing. Unless your an old man your gonna be fine.

[Lioness]

yep found it in the school dumpester

What is a Jew Ninja doing in the school dumpster?

[Metal Wolf]

yep found it in the school dumpester
Thats what they all say.

[Xalren]

Stings of North American Scorpions are nothing. Unless your an old man your gonna be fine.

Good point, at least it wasn't something from Australia.

[Hyster]

What is a Jew Ninja doing in the school dumpster?

looking for a computer keyborad but i hit the jackpot

Thats what they all say.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9FtxzG9jRek

if i was gay that would have been a dwarf danceing

[hostileEffect]

Stings of North American Scorpions are nothing. Unless your an old man your gonna be fine.

Not so much the sting, but the fact that it was... IN MY PANTS

[rockyraccoon]

i was expecting a thread about your penis with pics. dammit i guess ill have to get good amateur porno the usual way. watching people change through pinholes at he local abercrombie and fitch.

[ejnomad07]

Not so much the sting, but the fact that it was... IN MY PANTS

Well guess you learned something here. Not even the scorpion can find your manliness.

[Hyster]

just be happy u didnt get sack stung

[TubeSock]

yep found it in the school dumpester

Jews rule.

EDIT: Dude, make a group called Eye Of The Jew. We can r00l it and generate mass amounts of jewgolds.

[ejnomad07]

Jews rule.

Naw thats where they are made.

[Hyster]

EDIT: Dude, make a group called Eye Of The Jew. We can r00l it and generate mass amounts of jewgolds.

no and as for the computer dumpseter i learned my first computer skills taking the PoS apart

[Metal Wolf]

l
if i was gay that would have been a dwarf danceing

I was referring to G3 owners.

Though now that you brought up gay you seem a bit defensive about that. Haven't come out yet?

[ejnomad07]

no and as for the computer dumpseter i learned my first computer skills taking the PoS apart

Is this guy serious???

[TubeSock]

no and as for the computer dumpseter i learned my first computer skills taking the PoS apart

We can call it something else, but there utterly has to be a Jew-themed group.

[ejnomad07]

We can call it something else, but there utterly has to be a Jew-themed group.

Jew Crew?

[Hyster]

Jew Crew?

hmm i like it

[ejnomad07]

hmm i like it

Gonna have to ask for Royalties..

[TubeSock]

hmm i like it

J-Unit could also work. But of course only Jews would be allowed to enter.

[Hyster]

Gonna have to ask for Royalties..

sure lets start at .0215%

[ejnomad07]

sure lets start at .0215%

/facepalm


I forgot who I am dealing with.

[TubeSock]

sure lets start at .0215%

Or we could sue him and move that decimal a few places right in terms of what he'd owe us.

[Hyster]

Or we could sue him and move that decimal a few places right in terms of what he'd owe us.

or you could log into CoD4 and see me JewTube you

[ejnomad07]

Or we could sue him and move that decimal a few places right in terms of what he'd owe us.

If we win.

I just might buy you some new socks!

[Hyster]

lol i said i liked it never said i would use it, as i said before i wont form a group like that, night

[TubeSock]

or you could log into CoD4 and see me JewTube you

I don't own a GayStation 3.

[Robertek]

That scorpion was probably all up in your ass while you were sleeping.

[ejnomad07]

That scorpion was probably all up in your ass while you were sleeping.

He did not seem to be in such a good mood about it though. :confused:

[angelfang]

fuck, i was sorta hoping it was a brown recluse


think of the ensuing lulz

[FraBaktos]

Silly Wisconsin man, Texas is a fun place.

If it makes you feel better, people swallow at least 9 spiders a year in their sleep. Though I am sure you already knew that.

That's actually a complete myth, people do not swallow spiders while they sleep.


http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp

[emasame]

That's actually a complete myth, people do not swallow spiders while they sleep.


http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp

is it possible to disprove that?
i mean shit the only way they could do that is to film people sleeping for a year. it could very well happen

[TubeSock]

is it possible to disprove that?
i mean shit the only way they could do that is to film people sleeping for a year. it could very well happen

You spend almost as much time in your room awake as you do in your room asleep. Think about how often you see spiders during that time. Now think about how big your room is in comparison to the spider. Now think about how much the spider actually moves around. Now think about what the chances would be for a spider to be wandering around and happen to encounter your sleeping, wide open mouth. Now think of the chances of it actually crawling into your mouth and into your throat. Would it go down your esophagus itself? Obviously not. Would your body need to swallow it? Yes. And that would probably wake you up (atleast if you're a light sleeper which I am). So think about what a small chance there is of this happening once a year, let alone 8 times. Really, it's just common sense.

[GFH_Spike]

If the scorpion had stung him on his penis, he could have demanded a blowjob. Sucking the venom out and all.

[TubeSock]

If the scorpion had stung him on his penis, he could have demanded a blowjob. Sucking the venom out and all.

Someone get this man a beer!

[GFH_Spike]

Someone get this man a beer!

A wine cooler, if you please.

Joking, hand me a mug of Guinness.

[TubeSock]

A wine cooler, if you please.

Joking, hand me a mug of Guinness.

You don't get a beer anymore for being choosy.

[Signus]

Yeah, so I got out of the bed to get some milk and this thing is stinging my leg, figured it was one of those little winged bugs that got a little lost. So here I am, in the kitchen, shaking my pants, trying to get this thing out and guess what drops out?

A nice fat scorpion who was so cruel as to sting me once or twice on my left calf.

I don't want to know what would have happened if I went to sleep with this thing still in there... :shiver: I got a bench right next to my bed and I sleep under an olympic barbell, so if it stung there mumma would be hearing some racket in this end of the house.

The joys of Texas...

I don't understand how you sleep at night...

[GFH_Spike]

You don't get a beer anymore for being choosy.

Fine. I have bitten my thumb at you.

[TubeSock]

Fine. I have bitten my thumb at you.

Yes, well, I have drunken your milkshake.

[Layedballer]

That's nothing, this last morning I woke up for work and do my usual, after I piss I go to turn on my shower, needless to say when I turn around I'm staring down a huge huntsman spider in the corner above my sink.
So the 8 year old boy in me thinks to catch it. Getting the biggest peice of platic container with a large ripped up card board box(moving style) I can find and much chasing and jumping around I catch it. My second thought is to then scare my girlfriend who is still asleep, so I do.

As she wakes up and looks at the great beast staring back at her, she flings her hands up(screaming mind you), successfully knocking the container with the spider in it out of my hands(obviously by now you can see my dumbass didn't think this plan through all the way.

Needless to say the spider breaks free from his home and retreats under the bed. Now by this point my girlfriend is screaming at me bloody murder(it's around 7:10-15 in the morn now)and my dog is going crazy at our door(alaskan malamute who is banging on it pretty much) while the spider is still under the bed. Reluctantly I get down on it's level to look for it and the spider is far in the middle by the wall. Reluctantly I get a knife and begin pawing at it trying to either kill it or at least get it out from under the bed(preferably in the opposite direction of me, and ever reach under a dark bed with a huge 9 inch spider under it? Not fun) finally I think to get my girlfriends cat and let the two battle it out under the bed, as I open the door the huge dog bursts in and excitedly jumps onto the bed as if nothing was wrong. I get the cat and stuff it under the bed even though it fought me the whole time, it probably saw the damn thing.

To my surprise the spider darts out from under the bed making a run for the far wall I'm guessing, seeing this my dog jumps on the spider successfully chomping it and eating it all up. The best part is, no mess to clean up. And I've never been prouder of my dog.
Worst part, I won't be getting laid for a while.
At least I have a story to tell
(From what I could tell the spider was 9-10 inches across and moved quicker than any spider I've ever seen)

[Thoric]

You should've cooked it and ate it to absorb the strength of it's spirit.

Or just fry it and watch it suffer.

[GFH_Spike]

You should've cooked it and ate it to absorb the strength of it's spirit.

Or just fry it and watch it suffer.

If you were to eat me, you would absorb the strength of a million potential spirits!

[pookums]

I've hated spiders ever since I was living in cyprus. I pulled a book off my bookshelf and a jumping spider was on top of it, and the little fucker jumped onto my face and scared the living bejeezus outta me.

Needless to say, he got smashed into oblivion!

[Layedballer]

I've hated spiders ever since I was living in cyprus. I pulled a book off my bookshelf and a jumping spider was on top of it, and the little fucker jumped onto my face and scared the living bejeezus outta me.

Needless to say, he got smashed into oblivion!

Meh, spiders never bothered me, I grew up playing in the woods all the time and there were always huge wolf/huntsman spiders. I always liked catching spiders and making them fight

[Nehemia]

If you were to eat me, you would absorb the strength of a million potential spirits!

Thank you for that... Enlightening information.

[Layedballer]

If you were to eat me, you would absorb the strength of a million potential spirits!

If I ate you I'd probably absorb your herpes

[cosimo84]

i remember that with scorpions,
if the sting hurts like a bitch, then you're OK. Even if it's a huge scorpion, cuz that means all the venom is doing is causing more pain.

if the sting doesnt hurt much at all, you could be in trouble, if the scorpion has very small claws by comparison to the rest of its body, thats also bad. And if you feel any euphoria after the sting then thats really fuckn bad

[Badem]

Meh as a kid I used to RAID flies (big fat blue bottles) then as they writhed in agony from chemical poisoning ould color one eye red and one eye blue for psychadelic Lulz

I also used to find it funny to kill a random ant outside an ants nest, then when they swarmed out drop a blob or three of washing up liquid on the entrance and wash it down with boiling water....

Or help my Gramps kill slugs with salt.....

I drew the line at my mates 'superglue a cat to a train line and swing its caracse round by its tail' that was just un ncessary (plus about 4 people openly vomited when they got spattered in cat gut...)

[cosimo84]

Meh as a kid I used to RAID flies (big fat blue bottles) then as they writhed in agony from chemical poisoning ould color one eye red and one eye blue for psychadelic Lulz

I also used to find it funny to kill a random ant outside an ants nest, then when they swarmed out drop a blob or three of washing up liquid on the entrance and wash it down with boiling water....

Or help my Gramps kill slugs with salt.....

I drew the line at my mates 'superglue a cat to a train line and swing its caracse round by its tail' that was just un ncessary (plus about 4 people openly vomited when they got spattered in cat gut...)

see a psychologist before you kill me plz

[Pcheez]

Ive been bitten by a few snakes and scorpions while hunting and none have been poisonous to my luck

[alfaroverall]

Fry it and eat it on a stick like the Chinese.