The Ultimate Decision: Choose Your Fate

[Bravot]

It's present day America. The Ultimate Invisibility Orb of Talinoc is held by an old wizard named Dormor. This long-sought-after orb has the power to give the wielder invisibility (assuming you have disrobed) - as long as one hand is on it. For THOUSANDS of years, knights have fought and perished on the battlefield to capture this orb. It's power to see injustice without being seen... to save lives and captured prisoners... to look at girls undress without the plague of restraining orders. Once its position was revealed on craigslist, many people ventured to southern Detroit to capture this relic.

You see, one cannot simply walk into Dormor's home and expect to walk out unscathed! In fact, all who do have vanished into thin air. To steal the orb, one must strip naked and DART for the orb in his underground cellar into his man cave and take it from upon its throne. This is not just any coffee table ornament, though (as the previous owner quickly found out!) - the orb resides atop a 65" big screen perched in the back corner of this dark cave, protected by a wrap-around leather couch and a recliner.

You must capture the orb, yet avoid falling victim like all of the others have in the past. Dormor is wise - and he has a Brinks alarm system.

So you do what any other smart thief would do when attempting to capture The Ultimate Invisibility Orb of Talinoc. You strip naked. Once you have your hands on it, you can just walk out.

You look into the window and see Dormor enjoying a Hot Pocket and decide it is the best time to make your way in. You slide through the window and sneak into the basement...

... silence...

... FWOOOF bright flash - Dormor is suddenly face-to-face with you... security cameras! Should have known! Before you can utter "Ack," you are staring down the barrel of a Desert Eagle (what, so now Wizards are too good for guns?).

The old wizard tells you: You among the rest of the imbeciles are here to steal my orb. Now it is my turn to violate YOU... wait, that sounded dirty... start over?

You nod.

NOW it is my turn to control YOUR fate! Like the rest of the intruders, I will give you FOUR options and you MUST choose one... I will send you to wherever you choose... from there, you may meet your ultimate demise.

Your first option is to be sent to a forest where you will fight a grizzly bear.

Your second option is to be sent into a world of water where you will battle an alligator.

Your third option is to be sent into a land as dark as night to battle a sword-wielding ninja.

Your final option is to face off against space robots.

If you do not choose within the next five seconds, I will be forced to shoot you between the eyes... which would be unfortunate because I don't have any spells to clean the mess up. I'm a wizard, not a maid.

So you're naked and at gunpoint. You have been given your ultimatum. What do you do?

[kingpin]

It's present day America. The Ultimate Invisibility Orb of Talinoc is held by an old wizard named Dormor. This long-sought-after orb has the power to give the wielder invisibility (assuming you have disrobed) - as long as one hand is on it. For THOUSANDS of years, knights have fought and perished on the battlefield to capture this orb. It's power to see injustice without being seen... to save lives and captured prisoners... to look at girls undress without the plague of restraining orders. Once its position was revealed on craigslist, many people ventured to southern Detroit to capture this relic.

You see, one cannot simply walk into Dormor's home and expect to walk out unscathed! In fact, all who do have vanished into thin air. To steal the orb, one must strip naked and DART for the orb in his underground cellar into his man cave and take it from upon its throne. This is not just any coffee table ornament, though (as the previous owner quickly found out!) - the orb resides atop a 65" big screen perched in the back corner of this dark cave, protected by a wrap-around leather couch and a recliner.

You must capture the orb, yet avoid falling victim like all of the others have in the past. Dormor is wise - and he has a Brinks alarm system.

So you do what any other smart thief would do when attempting to capture The Ultimate Invisibility Orb of Talinoc. You strip naked. Once you have your hands on it, you can just walk out.

You look into the window and see Dormor enjoying a Hot Pocket and decide it is the best time to make your way in. You slide through the window and sneak into the basement...

... silence...

... FWOOOF bright flash - Dormor is suddenly face-to-face with you... security cameras! Should have known! Before you can utter "Ack," you are staring down the barrel of a Desert Eagle (what, so now Wizards are too good for guns?).

The old wizard tells you: You among the rest of the imbeciles are here to steal my orb. Now it is my turn to violate YOU... wait, that sounded dirty... start over?

You nod.

NOW it is my turn to control YOUR fate! Like the rest of the intruders, I will give you FOUR options and you MUST choose one... I will send you to wherever you choose... from there, you may meet your ultimate demise.

Your first option is to be sent to a forest where you will fight a grizzly bear.

Your second option is to be sent into a world of water where you will battle an alligator.

Your third option is to be sent into a land as dark as night to battle a sword-wielding ninja.

Your final option is to face off against space robots.

If you do not choose within the next five seconds, I will be forced to shoot you between the eyes... which would be unfortunate because I don't have any spells to clean the mess up. I'm a wizard, not a maid.

So you're naked and at gunpoint. You have been given your ultimatum. What do you do?

can someone explain in a paragraph wth he said?

[Slypieguy]

I read part of the first sentence and I'm gonna have to go with a WTF

also, Clemson sucks

[jordanleroux]

can someone explain in a paragraph wth he said?

I think he came out of the closet, not exactly sure though.

[Bravot]

Anyone feel like reading the whole thing before replying? If not, go back to the What year did you register on the forums? and pay no attention to this.

[Xinnro]

What year did you register on the forums?


And I'd fight the ninja or the Grizzly. Best chance of surviving.

[Bravot]

Some date past 2002 and before 2009

[WhiteGuy]

Wtf did he try and make a RP thread or something?

[Graysin]

naked grizzly bear fight

[Bravot]

Wtf did he try and make a RP thread or something?

No, it's an original content thread. You may not know about those if you are new to trolling these forums. Original content threads can range anywhere from a few simple lines to an entire epic story often to ask one simple question to provoke discussion for further entertainment (hey, like this one).

It's almost like it's entertaining to read posts... but I am an acquired taste, I guess.

[kingpin]

hmmm grizzlys, ninjas, survival and rp so far. i need more pieces!

[Bravot]

hmmm grizzlys, ninjas, survival and rp so far. i need more pieces!

Lightning bolt?

[trichlor]

I'd either try to manipulate the situation where I could get the gun from the noob mage, or choose the ninja-in-the-dark fight.

But honestly, that guy is a moron for even being in that situation. The orb is on craigslist right? so it's for sale? just phone the mage and set up an appoinment to see it, start off with a heavy dose of scepticism and see if he drops his guard. Then take him out. Point is that you don't just "waltz" in to a mages house to steal what could be his most valueable possesion.

:ninja:

[Bravot]

I'd either try to manipulate the situation where I could get the gun from the noob mage, or choose the ninja-in-the-dark fight.

But honestly, that guy is a moron for even being in that situation. The orb is on craigslist right? so it's for sale? just phone the mage and set up an appoinment to see it, start off with a heavy dose of scepticism and see if he drops his guard. Then take him out. Point is that you don't just "waltz" in to a mages house to steal what could be his most valueable possesion.

:ninja:
Not everything on craigslist is for sale! It was just some guy posting up its listing. I guess I should have specified. Oh well.

[Viluin]

I'd fight the alligator. Alligators are pussies, even Jaguars regularly kill them in the water. So I must be able to. Just jump on its back and idk gouge its eyes out?

[Thrill_KIll]

I'd fight the alligator. Alligators are pussies, even Jaguars regularly kill them in the water. So I must be able to. Just jump on its back and idk gouge its eyes out?


Not to mention, if you swim in a "figure eight" pattern, you can easily out swim an alligator. Only a half coon-ass knows this shit!

[Suitepee]

Actually I choose none of the above,but instead...

I unclench my buttocks and a pistol drops out of my ass,which I had earlier shoved up there. I reclench the buttocks before the gun drops completely which holds the pistol in place and pull the trigger of the pistol with my hand as I am 'bowing down' to the wizard.

The wizard is shot in the leg and drops his Desert Eagle. I then proceed to shoot him in the head 5 times. I then take the orb and use it to create Darkfall.

THE END.

[korosec]

I'd fight the alligator. Alligators are pussies, even Jaguars regularly kill them in the water. So I must be able to. Just jump on its back and idk gouge its eyes out?

its a mage not alligator .

[Beorg]

I would fight the alligator. I've watched too many Steve Irwin episodes not to know how to take one on.

[Beorg]

I'd fight the alligator. Alligators are pussies, even Jaguars regularly kill them in the water. So I must be able to. Just jump on its back and idk gouge its eyes out?

Jaguars fight Caiman, not alligators. There are no alligators in South America anyway. Caiman are much smaller with more pronounced teeth, but are nothing compared to an alligator.

[Viluin]

Jaguars fight Caiman, not alligators. There are no alligators in South America anyway. Caiman are much smaller with more pronounced teeth, but are nothing compared to an alligator.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVjh02RmMnc

Alligator.. Crocodile.. Caiman.. Whatever. Same thing. One of them is just bigger than the other. You can still jump on its back and gouge its eyes out. Or prevent it from opening its mouth by keeping it closed with your hands.

[cataclyzm]

i choose to have wild monkey love with vliuins mom, right there on his couch while watching the evening news

[Bravot]

Actually I choose none of the above,but instead...

I unclench my buttocks and a pistol drops out of my ass,which I had earlier shoved up there. I reclench the buttocks before the gun drops completely which holds the pistol in place and pull the trigger of the pistol with my hand as I am 'bowing down' to the wizard.

The wizard is shot in the leg and drops his Desert Eagle. I then proceed to shoot him in the head 5 times. I then take the orb and use it to create Darkfall.

THE END.

Whoa, didn't see that one coming. :eek:

[verboten]

I say distract the mage by masturbating with the orb. He would be so incredibly shocked to find a nude woman getting off, my guess he would drop the gun and try to "help".

[trichlor]

Uh, about the aligator, don't forget you're in a "world of water". And that the things, when in hunt-mode, are patient and work by suprise. Yea if you can get the jump on it then you can win. But because this is water and not a shore or beach the Gator has the edge. All it needs to do is grab one of your legs from any direction and drag you down to the bottom.

Going toe to toe with a grizzly that is hell-bent on pwning you is suicide.

The space Robot situation would be like the grizzly one except that they're smarter and have lazer-beams on their foreheads.

IMO at least the ninja can't see in the dark, thereby leveling the playing feild a bit. Although straight-out combat with it is still death, you might be able to out-stealth it. That is, unless it knows where you are from the start. Then I'd say Gator.. except I can't swim.

[Senti]

If the space robots are anything like the ones from Star Wars, I'll take on C3PO

[GFH_Spike]

I say distract the mage by masturbating with the orb. He would be so incredibly shocked to find a nude woman getting off, my guess he would drop the gun and try to "help".

On the contrary, this particular mage may seek to lock, load, and fire. Unfortunately for you, he's carrying a shotgun and his intentions are rather wicked.

Much as your own, it would seem - I dare say, the target is asking for a bullseye. ;)

[Razel]

can someone explain in a paragraph wth he said?

think he said hes a roleplayer. Sooo much typing.... like someones gona read that shit.

[Baenor]

Actually I choose none of the above,but instead...

I unclench my buttocks and a pistol drops out of my ass,which I had earlier shoved up there. I reclench the buttocks before the gun drops completely which holds the pistol in place and pull the trigger of the pistol with my hand as I am 'bowing down' to the wizard.

The wizard is shot in the leg and drops his Desert Eagle. I then proceed to shoot him in the head 5 times. I then take the orb and use it to create Darkfall.

THE END.

You wouldn't have that gun there, for if you had taken the orb, it would be visible as you try to escape his home.

I would take on the alligator.
Once you are on his back... theres not much he can do. An alligator can't really bite you at that angle, and its legs aren't felxible enough to claw you.

Whoever said ninjas cant see in the dark?
This is a modern day ninja I assume, so it would have night vision goggles.

But clearly we're talking about a mage here - his melee skills would be minimal. Simply take the gun and pistol whip the mofo. Hes not wearing any form of armour, as it restricts his spellcasting, so one whip and hes out cold.

Loot the orb and gtfo.