Darkfall: An Agon Story

[Nackl of Gilmed]

There was a boy whose name was Jim,
Who was eaten alive by a Mahirim.
Refusing to eat with a then-offered fork,
The dog was put down by a rare cultured Ork.
A human looked on, his confusion quite plain,
Till his throat was slit by a rogue Mirdain.
The elf grabbed his loot, ran for the wharf,
And was hammered to death by a paladin Dwarf.
He looted her gold with a gleeful nod,
Then recalled he was meant to give half to his God.
A moral debate that became academic,
When an Alfar death-mage unleashed a pandemic.
The Dwarf keeled over, his eyes growing dim,
Concluding the story of a boy name Jim.

[alfaroverall]

Your meter gets screwed up a couple times (most especially between lines 5 and 6), but clever and amusing.

[Snapple-Fact173]

I think the alfar should die from his own disease as well, so to prevent Alfar from being seen as the best race. Otherwise i really liked it good job :)

[GalahadScythe]

nice one!

:D

[gurinthedark]

Nice!

[Nackl of Gilmed]

I think the alfar should die from his own disease as well, so to prevent Alfar from being seen as the best race.

Well actually, the Ork survived as well. We can assume they had a run-in some time later.

Anyway, thought I'd mention that there's a real poem called 'A Boy Named Jim'. It's a cautionary tale; Jim is naughty by slipping away from his nanny at the zoo, and as a result is eaten alive by a lion from the toes up.

I read it as a child, and it stuck with me for some reason ;)

[muffins]

That was great lol

[Suitepee]

There was a boy whose name was Jim,
Who was eaten alive by a Mahirim.
Refusing to eat with a then-offered fork,
The dog was put down by a rare cultured Ork.
A human looked on, his confusion quite plain,
Till his throat was slit by a rogue Mirdain.
The elf grabbed his loot, ran for the wharf,
And was hammered to death by a paladin Dwarf.
He looted her gold with a gleeful nod,
Then recalled he was meant to give half to his God.
A moral debate that became academic,
When an Alfar death-mage unleashed a pandemic.
The Dwarf keeled over, his eyes growing dim,
Concluding the story of a boy name Jim.

Your story is inaccurate in the bolded section thus.

If any orc was to try & kill a Mahirim for not using a fork,they'd be the ones getting 'put down'.
And besides,any 'cultured' orcs wouldn't be killing people for pointless reasons anyway.
They'd be too busy sorting out the chaotic mess that is the 'smash! Hulk grab!' mentality usually viewed of their own race,and strive to achieve via diplomatic reasons of establishing a better race/stereotype in general. :D

Also,we are not 'dogs' (or furries,or yiffs,or any other childish term you conjure up; this isn't Anime MMORPG no.212),please use the correct terms of "Mahirim","your superiors" and "masters" in future tales.

Other than that,nice story. :D

[Angreal]

There was a boy whose name was Jim,
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in his neighborhood
He got in one little fight and his mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

He whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything he can say this cab is rare
But he thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

He pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
He looked at his kingdom
He was finally there
To sit on his throne as the Prince of Bel Air,
Concluding the story of a boy name Jim.

[Nackl of Gilmed]

Cunningly woven, my friend. Cunningly woven.

EDIT: also, I think it makes pretty good sense that the closest an Ork could get to being cultured is by enforcing etiquette with lethal force.

That's cultured for an Ork, isn't it?

[Razli]

hehe, Pretty good. I liked it alot.

[Krej]

I laughed. well done!