26 Ways to Prove Conspiracy Theorists are Idiots

[The First 09er]

1. Subtly or not so subtly intimidate anyone who might be open to the possibility of a conspiracy by questioning the mental state of conspiracy advocates and pretending they are outcasts of society whose opinions nobody cares about.
2. Put the word "theory" behind the word "conspiracy", no matter how great the evidence, and preferably do this several times in the article to make the (supposedly) theoretical nature of the conspiracy really sink in.
3. Imply that conspiracy theories are literally made up out of thin air and that there never was any significant evidence to support any of them.
4. Present different pieces of the same conspiracy as independently made up and conflicting conspiracy theories.
5. Carefully select the evidence that is to be presented. Leave out anything that cannot be explained. Focus on evidence that is easy to discredit, or at the very least, inconclusive.
6. As a talk-show host, don't let any person arguing in favor of a conspiracy speak uninterrupted for even one minute.
7. For interviews, preferably pick prominent individuals from the conspiracy movement who either have no credentials or irrelevant credentials. Place these conspiracy theorists against academics and other experts who have impeccable credentials.
8. During video interviews, allow the skeptics to present themselves more properly than the conspiracy advocates.
9. Quote from generally respected government investigating committees and present their conclusions as gospel.
10. Automatically dismiss articles from conspiracy advocates as "unreliable", no matter how well-sourced these articles are.
11. Always question the motives of conspiracy theorists.
12. Make the well known claim that everybody is in on the conspiracy.
13. Make a few jokes, usually involving little green men, Elvis, the grassy knoll, and aliens. Then there also is the classic "out to get you" comment.
14. Ask if the conspiracy advocate believes in any other (unrelated) conspiracies.
15. Make the claim that governments can't keep secrets.
16. Repeat the claim that we have free press because scandals are regularly exposed.
17. As soon as a conspiracy theorist brings up witness testimony, counter with the standard argument that eyewitness testimony is "notoriously unreliable".
18. When aspects of the permanent government have slowly been exposed over the years, oversimplify by stating this or that conspiracy theory "has had its best time".
19. Start out with, or only report, conclusions, and leave out most, if not all, evidence that this conclusion has been based on. Also leave out all nuances brought up by the person that has been interviewed.
20. Oversimplify by stating that the official head of state must have been directly involved in planning and overseeing the conspiracy. Don't allow the subject to explain the transnational, largely privatized, permanent government in any coherent way.
21. Claim that the internet is responsible for the recent increase in conspiracy theories, because frothing conspiracy theorists are hyping each other up in chat rooms and message boards.
22. Have a conspiracy theorist argue with a victim of a conspiracy who actually doesn't believe in the conspiracy. Even better, the victim is disabled and dying.
23. When covering demonstrations, mainly focus on the eccentric and the violent. Ignore all the presentable, calm and intelligent demonstrators.
24. Don't write about the topics conspiracy theorists bring up. Instead, write about conspiracy theorists.
25. See if you can link credible writers to not-so-credible writers.
26. See if you can dig up some dirt on a prominent conspiracy advocate.

[Attau]

Well I don't know about you guys - but I'm setting all my conspiratorial notions aside after being trounced by this irrefutable and methodical debunking of all facts related to conspiracy theories.

Thank you for setting me straight.

[Lord Bulleteus]

if conspiracy theorists are idiots the why more and more people pay them attention?

[Nunz]

Mk-Ultra is a myth and AIDS is from fucking monkeys...


tuskegee, operation paperclip, 9/11, afgan freedom fighters

ect ect...

[Nunz]

PS Pretty sure OP wasn't trying to debunk conspiracy theorist with this thread.

abby hoffman, black panthers..

[Marrik]

if conspiracy theorists are idiots the why more and more people pay them attention?

THATS your answer? of all the things you could have said, you say THIS? youre like a Christian who says "if so many people believe it how can it be wrong???"


its no fucking reason at all.



also, you maybe should have read at least ONE of his points. like the first one, maybe.

[Rossco]

You could easily simplify this all down in the ages old "If the speaker has a flaw then their speech is automatically false," found commonly in politics. For instance, when a politician voices something that their opponent dislikes, their opponent will not try to find flaws in the opinion (as it is commonly correct anyway), but instead vocalize some negatory fact about the politician that has nothing to do with the actual opinion but still confused the majority of the public audience (because most humans are idiots and can't think about the 'bigger picture' without interruption.)

As a sidenote, Marrick, your sig quotes make me smile.

[Serenius]

As a sidenote, Marrick, your sig quotes make me smile.

I hope you refer to the Einstein one, I see no reason to glorify mass murderers.

[Rossco]

I hope you refer to the Einstein one, I see no reason to glorify mass murderers.

. . .

Charles Darwin.

And, incase you didn't get the point, or are just being sarcastic, please reread my whole post carefully, then reread Marrik's post, then reread mine again. If you still don't get it then, than you should refrain from paying any attention to my devious posts (however rare) in the future.

[Serenius]

. . .

Charles Darwin.

And, incase you didn't get the point, or are just being sarcastic, please reread my whole post carefully, then reread Marrik's post, then reread mine again. If you still don't get it then, than you should refrain from paying any attention to my devious posts (however rare) in the future.

Lol sorry don't know why I said Einstein, I'm sick blame it on the Swine Flu. I should stop posting for a few ways and just sleep it off.

[Vessol]

Lol sorry don't know why I said Einstein, I'm sick blame it on the Swine Flu. I should stop posting for a few ways and just sleep it off.

just get your damn vaccine

[Bissen]

1 way to prove OP is a moron

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD06SAf0p9A

[Rossco]

1 way to prove OP is a moron

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD06SAf0p9A

You do realize that his post was sarcasm directed at Politics and the Media, right? Or are you someone with a sub-70 IQ and no deductive reasoning skills, because if you were, I'd understand.

[Bissen]

You do realize that his post was sarcasm directed at Politics and the Media, right? Or are you someone with a sub-70 IQ and no deductive reasoning skills, because if you were, I'd understand.

Exactly. Now get with the program.

[Rossco]

Exactly. Now get with the program.

I have to admit, you just confused me. Was that your intention? Because I can't conceptualize what the 'program' could possibly be. Oh, wait, unless recognizing obvious sarcasm spewn over 26 separate easily identifiable articles is supposed to be difficult to comprehend? Or are you trying to say it's stupid of me to think he couldn't see the blatant sarcasm? Because if you were, and you think he was being sarcastic, then your obviously and idiot. Eitherway, you either have too little or too much faith on the average person's intellect. You should go get that checked out; delusions are medically a bad thing, y'know.

[Bissen]

I have to admit, you just confused me. Was that your intention? Because I can't conceptualize what the 'program' could possibly be. Oh, wait, unless recognizing obvious sarcasm spewn over 26 separate easily identifiable articles is supposed to be difficult to comprehend? Or are you trying to say it's stupid of me to think he couldn't see the blatant sarcasm? Because if you were, and you think he was being sarcastic, then your obviously and idiot. Eitherway, you either have too little or too much faith on the average person's intellect. You should go get that checked out; delusions are medically a bad thing, y'know.

Hahaha. You're a funny guy!

[Rossco]

Hahaha. You're a funny guy!

Well, it's good to know that you at least have a sense of humour, even if only when being faced down by arrogant superiority.

[Bissen]

Well, it's good to know that you at least have a sense of humour, even if only when being faced down by arrogant superiority.

Interweb hero coming through!

[Fuzzball]

PS Pretty sure OP wasn't trying to debunk conspiracy theorist with this thread.

abby hoffman, black panthers..

I think it's a failed attempt at being sarcastic. He is trying to state everything that people say to try to in-validate conspiracies. Ignorance is bliss.

[Sqarak]

I would have called this thread "26 ways to troll conspiracy theorists", but as it stands I can't but deduct that the OP had other reasons to give this thread the title he has given it.

[jonyak]

You do realize that his post was sarcasm directed at Politics and the Media, right? Or are you someone with a sub-70 IQ and no deductive reasoning skills, because if you were, I'd understand.

hey look we have another wannabe internet troll.

[Sqarak]

hey look we have another wannabe internet troll.

A walabi internet troll? (http://217.67.224.77/coasterpark.nl/walibi%20wacht%20op%20Walibelle.jpg)

[kab112]

I have to admit, you just confused me. Was that your intention? Because I can't conceptualize what the 'program' could possibly be. Oh, wait, unless recognizing obvious sarcasm spewn over 26 separate easily identifiable articles is supposed to be difficult to comprehend? Or are you trying to say it's stupid of me to think he couldn't see the blatant sarcasm? Because if you were, and you think he was being sarcastic, then your obviously -->and<-- idiot. Eitherway, you either have too little or too much faith on the average person's intellect. You should go get that checked out; delusions are medically a bad thing, y'know.
Well, it's good to know that you at least have a sense of humour, even if only when being faced down by arrogant superiority.


I believe that is a spelling mistake my good sir, you were saying something about intellect?

[Badem]

Who really cares about conspiracy theorists? theya re all sad little fuckers who run round with Tinfoil Hats going 'They are coming they are coming' and most likely only get to sleep with ugly women who are just grateful to get some action, even if it is over before penetration is acheived

[Bissen]

Who really cares about conspiracy theorists?

Apparently you do. Since you bothered having a monkey type that load of bull.

[Badem]

Apparently you do. Since you bothered having a monkey type that load of bull.

I typed it, and I am a fucking Panda not a marsupial

[Bissen]

I typed it, and I am a fucking Panda not a marsupial

You ain't no panda. A panda would have the decency to admit defeat when presented with the incriminating material it, itself had manufactured!

I spit on the for trying to be a false prophet!

[Badem]

You ain't no panda. A panda would have the decency to admit defeat when presented with the incriminating material it, itself had manufactured!

I spit on the for trying to be a false prophet!

oh you fucking douche

spit on the? dont you mean THEE

thouest are a fucking n00blet, in thine guise of a forumwhore, thou art an Emo trolling the trolls of trolly troll troll

Thou should pluck out thine eyes and beg thee for thine everlasting mercy, failing that a bucket of bleach and a burning pitchfork should suffice

[Bissen]

oh you fucking douche

spit on the? dont you mean THEE

thouest are a fucking n00blet, in thine guise of a forumwhore, thou art an Emo trolling the trolls of trolly troll troll

Thou should pluck out thine eyes and beg thee for thine everlasting mercy, failing that a bucket of bleach and a burning pitchfork should suffice

I love it when pulling your childish nipples make you squeal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8&feature=related

[Badem]

I love it when pulling your childish nipples make you squeal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8&feature=related

you really do try too hard, I used that clips like fucking alst year, so find something new to use, also stop beig such a div and focus on something else other than my nipples

[Bissen]

you really do try too hard, I used that clips like fucking alst year, so find something new to use, also stop beig such a div and focus on something else other than my nipples

Ohh trust me. I am trying. It's just that they're like hypnotic or something.

And grats on using a clip on the interweb.

Ps. I love you Badem. We should have hot male bondage sex sometime...

[Dasmas]

1. Subtly or not so subtly intimidate anyone who might be open to the possibility of a conspiracy by questioning the mental state of conspiracy advocates and pretending they are outcasts of society whose opinions nobody cares about.
2. Put the word "theory" behind the word "conspiracy", no matter how great the evidence, and preferably do this several times in the article to make the (supposedly) theoretical nature of the conspiracy really sink in.
3. Imply that conspiracy theories are literally made up out of thin air and that there never was any significant evidence to support any of them.
4. Present different pieces of the same conspiracy as independently made up and conflicting conspiracy theories.
5. Carefully select the evidence that is to be presented. Leave out anything that cannot be explained. Focus on evidence that is easy to discredit, or at the very least, inconclusive.
6. As a talk-show host, don't let any person arguing in favor of a conspiracy speak uninterrupted for even one minute.
7. For interviews, preferably pick prominent individuals from the conspiracy movement who either have no credentials or irrelevant credentials. Place these conspiracy theorists against academics and other experts who have impeccable credentials.
8. During video interviews, allow the skeptics to present themselves more properly than the conspiracy advocates.
9. Quote from generally respected government investigating committees and present their conclusions as gospel.
10. Automatically dismiss articles from conspiracy advocates as "unreliable", no matter how well-sourced these articles are.
11. Always question the motives of conspiracy theorists.
12. Make the well known claim that everybody is in on the conspiracy.
13. Make a few jokes, usually involving little green men, Elvis, the grassy knoll, and aliens. Then there also is the classic "out to get you" comment.
14. Ask if the conspiracy advocate believes in any other (unrelated) conspiracies.
15. Make the claim that governments can't keep secrets.
16. Repeat the claim that we have free press because scandals are regularly exposed.
17. As soon as a conspiracy theorist brings up witness testimony, counter with the standard argument that eyewitness testimony is "notoriously unreliable".
18. When aspects of the permanent government have slowly been exposed over the years, oversimplify by stating this or that conspiracy theory "has had its best time".
19. Start out with, or only report, conclusions, and leave out most, if not all, evidence that this conclusion has been based on. Also leave out all nuances brought up by the person that has been interviewed.
20. Oversimplify by stating that the official head of state must have been directly involved in planning and overseeing the conspiracy. Don't allow the subject to explain the transnational, largely privatized, permanent government in any coherent way.
21. Claim that the internet is responsible for the recent increase in conspiracy theories, because frothing conspiracy theorists are hyping each other up in chat rooms and message boards.
22. Have a conspiracy theorist argue with a victim of a conspiracy who actually doesn't believe in the conspiracy. Even better, the victim is disabled and dying.
23. When covering demonstrations, mainly focus on the eccentric and the violent. Ignore all the presentable, calm and intelligent demonstrators.
24. Don't write about the topics conspiracy theorists bring up. Instead, write about conspiracy theorists.
25. See if you can link credible writers to not-so-credible writers.
26. See if you can dig up some dirt on a prominent conspiracy advocate.

Hello sheep #89023489923432... "The Truth shall set you free..."

[Nevron]

I believe that is a spelling mistake my good sir, you were saying something about intellect?

Want to know what's dumber than what you pointed out? The fact that you pointed out an honest error instead of highlighting his usage of "your" in the place of "you're" a mere few words over. So what was that about intellect?

Trolling - get better at it.

[kab112]

Want to know what's dumber than what you pointed out? The fact that you pointed out an honest error instead of highlighting his usage of "your" in the place of "you're" a mere few words over. So what was that about intellect?

Trolling - get better at it.

Finally someone bites.. how is that an honest error and the "Your/You're" isn't one?

[Nevron]

Finally someone bites.. how is that an honest error and the "Your/You're" isn't one?

The chances of someone not being able to differentiate between "and" and "an" is vastly different than someone not being able to differentiate between "your" and "you're". Did you really need that explained to you?

[kab112]

The chances of someone not being able to differentiate between "and" and "an" is vastly different than someone not being able to differentiate between "your" and "you're". Did you really need that explained to you?

You didn't explain anything.. how is it different?

The former is even easier to see the difference from eachother than the latter.

[Drool111]

1. Subtly or not so subtly intimidate anyone who might be open to the possibility of a conspiracy by questioning the mental state of conspiracy advocates and pretending they are outcasts of society whose opinions nobody cares about.
2. Put the word "theory" behind the word "conspiracy", no matter how great the evidence, and preferably do this several times in the article to make the (supposedly) theoretical nature of the conspiracy really sink in.
3. Imply that conspiracy theories are literally made up out of thin air and that there never was any significant evidence to support any of them.
4. Present different pieces of the same conspiracy as independently made up and conflicting conspiracy theories.
5. Carefully select the evidence that is to be presented. Leave out anything that cannot be explained. Focus on evidence that is easy to discredit, or at the very least, inconclusive.
6. As a talk-show host, don't let any person arguing in favor of a conspiracy speak uninterrupted for even one minute.
7. For interviews, preferably pick prominent individuals from the conspiracy movement who either have no credentials or irrelevant credentials. Place these conspiracy theorists against academics and other experts who have impeccable credentials.
8. During video interviews, allow the skeptics to present themselves more properly than the conspiracy advocates.
9. Quote from generally respected government investigating committees and present their conclusions as gospel.
10. Automatically dismiss articles from conspiracy advocates as "unreliable", no matter how well-sourced these articles are.
11. Always question the motives of conspiracy theorists.
12. Make the well known claim that everybody is in on the conspiracy.
13. Make a few jokes, usually involving little green men, Elvis, the grassy knoll, and aliens. Then there also is the classic "out to get you" comment.
14. Ask if the conspiracy advocate believes in any other (unrelated) conspiracies.
15. Make the claim that governments can't keep secrets.
16. Repeat the claim that we have free press because scandals are regularly exposed.
17. As soon as a conspiracy theorist brings up witness testimony, counter with the standard argument that eyewitness testimony is "notoriously unreliable".
18. When aspects of the permanent government have slowly been exposed over the years, oversimplify by stating this or that conspiracy theory "has had its best time".
19. Start out with, or only report, conclusions, and leave out most, if not all, evidence that this conclusion has been based on. Also leave out all nuances brought up by the person that has been interviewed.
20. Oversimplify by stating that the official head of state must have been directly involved in planning and overseeing the conspiracy. Don't allow the subject to explain the transnational, largely privatized, permanent government in any coherent way.
21. Claim that the internet is responsible for the recent increase in conspiracy theories, because frothing conspiracy theorists are hyping each other up in chat rooms and message boards.
22. Have a conspiracy theorist argue with a victim of a conspiracy who actually doesn't believe in the conspiracy. Even better, the victim is disabled and dying.
23. When covering demonstrations, mainly focus on the eccentric and the violent. Ignore all the presentable, calm and intelligent demonstrators.
24. Don't write about the topics conspiracy theorists bring up. Instead, write about conspiracy theorists.
25. See if you can link credible writers to not-so-credible writers.
26. See if you can dig up some dirt on a prominent conspiracy advocate.


lol nice write up

[gloryhound]

You didn't explain anything.. how is it different?

The former is even easier to see the difference from eachother than the latter.

Pointing out what's potentially a lack of knowledge is better than pointing out what's potentially a typo, and also makes you look smarter for pointing out your potentially superior intellect.

Forumfall 101, kid.

[Rossco]

Okay, I'm actually saddened that some people are too dense to realize the (semi-)clever sarcastic nature of this post.

Oh, and on the subject of my previous two grammatical anomalies; although by unintentional means, I obviously caught your attention.

[kab112]

Pointing out what's potentially a lack of knowledge is better than pointing out what's potentially a typo, and also makes you look smarter for pointing out your potentially superior intellect.

Forumfall 101, kid.

.