PDA

View Full Version : another rp by lok-tar-ogar


lok-tar-ogar
04-05-2006, 03:16 PM
((:ooc: if u dont like my storys DONT READ THEM but dont ruin it for thoose who do like them:))

It was a rainy day and i was seeking sheelter just outside of the tribelandsnear the edge of a rageing river i was walking slowly along the edge of the river hopeing to find a cave or tall tree to rest under i must not have been paying attention cuz there was a human along the bank up the river.

by the time i had noticed him he was already chargeing me with a battle axe in hand no time to cast i thought and grabbed my claws. The human swung overhead in a powerfull strike i barelly managed to block it and it took both claws just to hold off the mighty swing. I flung my claws to the ground with his axe knowicng that he would be mine in unarmmed combat.

the human was shoocked and grabbed for a dagger on the side of his belt as I got down on all fours still almost as tall as the human slowly turn at eachother in almost harmony battle was a beautifull thing for the mahirim race and there is no greater honour than single combat.

the human advanced and slashed at my head cutting my ear as i slashed at my with my fangs the human is better than i thought as i missed. I could see the humangetting rdy to loung for me with the tiny knife it would be enouph if i didnt do somthing fast. i leaped twords him knocking him to the ground biteing at his face and clawing his neck the human screamed a warcry and kicked me from on top of him.

I began to cast seeing the barbarian bleeding from the side of his head i bought time circling him slowly trying to cast unholystrength i could see the human grinning with the glory of battle and for a second i almost lost concentration on the spell.

As soon as the spell was complete i felt stronger and able to kill anything with my powerthe human steped forward and stuck me in the right shoulder i smilled and almost laughed as i grabbed his throught with my teeth ripping out a chunk of flesh with a rich and powerfull blood running down my throught i smilled as the human killed over trying to breath and in respect i said the words there is little i can do for you except ease your passing warrior.

the human smilled once again he accually smilled and slashed at me in a upward motion with his dagger leaveing a nice gash on my torso about 4-5 inches long the human stood up i should have known a barbairian wouldent go down that easy and i began to cast.

The human stood but i knew i had wounded him mortally and i could see blood gushing from his neck and his face looked like a undercooked meal by now. I rushed over to my claws laying on the ground next to his axe i picked it up and tossed it into the river with slight ease. The rain was picking up and was causing the river to flow even more violently than before i myself was soaked and i could see that the human was also soaking wet and was barely able to stand in the near mud like surface of the plains.

the human was still smileing at me and i knew that this was a worthy opponent and i began to cast again from the school of watter this would be a difficult cast as i was begining to fell slow after the last spell had almost worn off a watter ellemental i thought yes that should do it. i walked closer to the edge of the river and began to cast.

The human seeing this would not stand for it i knew and he began to walk closer to me dagger in hand holding it with two fingers prepared to throw it at a moments notice and just as the ellemental appeared floating on top of the rageing river he did and it stuck my left hand makeing me drop one of my clawsi sent the ellemental to finish him off and the human walked calmly into the river i could see the blood rushing off of him into the watter.

The human picked up his axe as the watter ellemental hit him in the head and made a slaping sound the human was dazzed and was almost swept away by the river but he stood his ground and cleaved the ellemental putting a gash in its right side it was replaced quicklly and the human slashed and hacked at it hopeing to do some damage and be gone with it.

He is in the watter i thought and i began to cast once again flash flood this time i had all the time i needed to cast it and the watter ellemental had taken a beating and was now falling back i knew i couldent let the barbairian get close to me with that axe and i finished the spell.

The watter ellemental died with a final cleave and i saw him sink into the river just as the warrior looked at me he was hit with a wall of watter and lost his footing in the slippery mud of the river i watched him flow down stream and I followed him along the bank of the river with great ease after all mahirim are very fast i cought up with the human about 1 mile downstream he was dieing and his final words were my clan shall avenge me.

I quickly took what he had and took shelter under a near by tree for rest and to lick my wounds and thought of what would happen to me if his clan cought up with me after all barbairians are a match for any warrior or mage.

to be continued.....

Justinian
04-05-2006, 08:55 PM
ooc: No offense, dude, but nobody takes you seriously. Just a heads up.

Bayab
04-05-2006, 09:45 PM
ooc: No offense, dude, but nobody takes you seriously. Just a heads up.

OOC: I am pretty sure Jack Tohmpson would take it seriously if you showed it to him. Probably would sue a few people.

lok-tar-ogar
04-06-2006, 07:19 AM
1. i dont care

2. who the fuck is jack thomson and why should i care

irish_lad
04-06-2006, 07:57 PM
I enjoy your presence and your story Lok.

I'd much rather have an eccentric, well-meaning poster than your typical DF forums loser, whose "unique" posting contributions are nothing but run-of-the-mill criticism.

I'm looking forward to your continued story.

ps. OOC

Bensidhe
04-06-2006, 10:52 PM
I think its been implied that Loks story is plagiarised , that being taken from another story that has been published .

I think too that it won't take very long to see lok being banned again . Plagiarism is a big no no anywhere . :ninja:

Mordhak
04-07-2006, 11:21 AM
OOC (yeah another one): To everyone who just comes in here to tell Lok to stfu, please do us all a favour and die, alright?

Now, I've read your story, and would like to give you some friendly advice. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm only trying to help you get better.

First, mind correct spelling and grammar, and above all punctuation. It would make your story much easier to read and enjoy.

Second, this may be a fantasy RP, but even barbarians die almost instantly when you rip out a piece of their throat. Also, you 'blocked' his axe and threw it down on the ground, along with your "claws"? Then you continue to fight hand-to-hand against the guy who draws a dagger, rip out his throat, then you throw his axe into the water, he goes and fetches it, you summon a water elemental, he beats it even though he's missing a throat (you know you need that thing to breathe, right?), then you cast another spell to wash him away on the currents of the river, follow him for a mile where he finally dies and even tells you that his clan will avenge him, while he's stilling missing his throat?

Again, don't take this the wrong way, this is nothing but friendly criticism. A very good example of how realistic (realistic for a fantasy RP, that is) fights occur are the Travels on Agon stories. If you haven't read them yet, you really should. You have a lot to learn ;)

lok-tar-ogar
04-09-2006, 10:26 PM
((:ooc: its funny to read the posts following the thread cuz u can tell who accually read the post and who just came here to bash me

-i will post this and a tactics thread later tonight i have work right now srry :))

Stark
04-09-2006, 11:10 PM
Hey lok, I think you're kinda cute. Wanna give me your number?:sly:

RavenLord
04-09-2006, 11:17 PM
my god, he

Necrash
04-10-2006, 01:32 AM
OOC. I read it Found it kinda yea The guy dont have a shunk of the neck but o well I guess it was a little chunk right lok.. He was bleading to death slowly from all his stamina and it wasnt on the left side was on the right where you dont die instantly!!!

I guess the story could use a bit a work for the most part well i didnt stop reading it =]!! But if he was better than you should a made him Hurt you alot mroe thna he did!! get a bit more creative!

lok-tar-ogar
04-10-2006, 10:34 AM
(( ooc I work at wendy's and in a construction job laying insolation i also have a third job as a pro cage fighter with hopes of getting in to the UFC my rec so far is 10-0-0 wish me luck its my dream also i would like to say that i have never "stollen" a story from anyone EVER. ))

I took cover near the river bank and started to lick my wounds I was gushing blood from a deep slash in my torso. with several nicks and cuts that were also bleeding more than i would like them to.

A little ways down river i found the human still alive but he was dieing and a pool of blood surounded him at the bank of the river and he gasped for each breath he took. I quicklly ease his passing finishing the job i could feel his bones CRUNCH in my jaws i took his axe and his chainmail for my own along with his head and 50gp a quest scroll hah at that time i had no idea what it would lead me too but i am getting ahead of myself again.

I have to get out of this storm I thought and started to run northwest farther down the river bank looking for shelter from the now rageing storm. I didnt stop running untill I saw a bolt of lightning strike a near by tree and i fell over almost in aww of the power of nature's wrath i quickly continued down the river bank hopeing to find any means of protection or rest I must have ran farther than i thought cuz i began to see the landscape change into almost dead and dry grasslands it didnt matter to me though as I finally saw a settlement ahead a small harbour town it looked ork.

When i came to the ork town shivvers ran through my spine as i saw three archer towers at the only entrance to the village and i was immediatally approched by two very BIG orks with axe's asking me what my bussiness in the city was.

The inn I said and they let me pass seeing my wounds the city was ment as a outpost for a much bigger guild and was very established for war and raids I went straight for the local in called The Krakilin inn I soon saw why as there was a huge abomination just on the otherside of the door I watched as a slave tryed to bring it a hot meal of meat i guess the huge beast liked his meat raw as he ignored the meal and ripped the slave limb from limb and devoured it in 30 seconds flat before finishing the meal that was scattered in front of him.

I walked to the bar and grabbed one of the last open seats. The bar tender a huge ork that gave me a look asked what he could get me I slapped the humans head on the bar and asked for a brew and a bottle and a meal before things got out of hand (as they almost always did in orkish taverns)

A Entire meal of pig was set in front of me with a bottle and a glass Deliver it to my room i asked as i started to head upstairs in front of the stairs was another ork who I asked to join me in a meal and drink he accepted and we were off.

The meal and bottle of orkish whine was already waiting in the small room we ate and drank and i showed him the scroll he almost gasped when he saw it and as he explained to me this was what he had been looking for for over a year this was the map to the watcher wastes........ I almost collapsed the watcher the thought of it alone was sending a chill along my arms and back I was shocked i didnt know what to say but I knew I had to try and we decided to gather our supply's and head for the black tower i couldent help but to think this is suacide.......

to be continued..............

lok-tar-ogar
04-10-2006, 10:35 AM
ooc: No offense, dude, but nobody takes you seriously. Just a heads up.


also half the ppl that replyed accually like this story SO STFU and mind your own business

Stark
04-12-2006, 11:21 PM
Lok gave me his number, btw.

RavenLord
04-15-2006, 12:32 AM
lol :D:D:D

When

BLACKWATCH
04-15-2006, 01:06 AM
Dont let anyone take away a talent or skill or any activity you like..
Your story is rough (so are mine) but with time and more stories they will come togeather..

Its your story, your way.. I enjoyed it. ;)

lok-tar-ogar
04-17-2006, 01:41 PM
I fell to sleep quite quicklly... it might have been the booze or the close fight that day but i fell right asleep with only one thought the watcher knows we are comeing

The next day we woke and set off just before dawn and the city we were looking for was a hour run a hour is a long time for somthing to go wrong.
we set out of the south gate the same one we entered and began to sprint through the tribelands.

we were running for about 20 minutes and thought we would hunt for our food we began to scout by some near by trees and that is when we saw it a lowly alfar with nothing more than a bow easy prey we thought and began to stalk slowly twords him on the road.

we decided to set a ambush at the next fork in the road there was some big rocks that we hid behind waiting for him. i would take the front while he would continue to stalk behind him.

the moment was almost upon us and i began to realize the the alfar with the bow was carrying several herbs and potions mage maybe. I grabbed my claws and got down on all fours waiting and finally I saw him a alfar and just behind him my beserker freind with the dubble bladded axe.

he got about 10 feet in front of me before he spoted me and cast a ice-bolt spell cutting my right arm. I then began to cast seeing my ork freind about to strike the first blow.

i quicklly cast roots from my wild magic spells slowing him so he coundent run and cut him on the right side as my ork freind stunned him with a nice attack to the head turning his blade at the last second. we attacked him relentlassly he was dead after 2 minutes.

In his bag where the following

2: healing herbs
1: alfar made bow... looked wicked
423: gp
1: cloak and dagger
2: poison potions
a set of lether tunic better than my own I took it for myself
qiver: with 54 arrows
and a ear-ring... looked gold

we were done with him and were on our way just beore we reached the area called watcher-wastes we knew that we were there and we could just barely see the city beyond the next hill there is heavy fog in the air suddenlly as we enter the area rolling hills almost swamp like hills.

we reached the city and started to the local tavern to find some information the bar was called the undead domain inside were a few mahirim and about 5 ork we tipped the barkeep and he told us to go to the local graveyard were i will find the key to the watchers tower.

we ran to the local graveyard to find a few skelleton's with nothing on them but a few gp i think it was about 10 it wasnt long before we came to the crypt the biggest grave right in the middle of the graveyard it had some stairs leading down.

the room was about twenty feet long and had a 5 foot pool in it and stairs at the other end three collums and both the left and the right sides

it got kinda dark and i cast night eye's on both of us and before I knew it the door slammed shut behind me and i was starring down a lich and two skelleton lords. this isnt good Only had time to cast one spell before they reached me it was a simple spirt attack from my wild magic it delt 24 dmg a little above the normal to the lich..... it didnt even phase him even though it was a direct hit

One of the skelleton lords reached me just as i pulled my claws out for battle The lord swung at me and cut my left paw just slightly. I retailiated with a claw to the ribs crushing three of his bones.

From the corner of my eye I could see beserker cleave the other one in the head I was shocked when it kept moveing i stepped back trying to gain distance from the lord when i was struck with a spell from the lich a curse i could feel it in my bones already.

my freind came over to help after haveing killed the other one and gave me time to cast once again before the curse took affect spirit attack once again this time i saw the creature felt it and he fell to the ground in a weak state i could see the lich comeing for me and rushed him with my claws.

i struck him twice once with each claw to each side of his torso and backed kept attacking with a blind fury he hit me with some kind of unholy or dark magic i couldent tell....... but it hurt i felt like passing out and if not for the addrenalin in my blood i might have.

i screamed in pain as my freind came to my aid once again and hit the lich in the arm disarmming him we killed him shortly after i watched his skull roll across the floor and kept it for my own.

once he died a collom came from the middle of the floor with a chest on it along with the lich we made quite nice with the loot we gathered

1: key
1264: gp all together
1: dark magic scroll
1: magic staff
1: cursed sword that we decided to keep
3: mana pots

its time to go to the watcher we said after a quick heal and continued down the steps...

to be continued

TizzyFoe
04-27-2006, 06:09 AM
((type everything in word first, for the spell check. Then copy and paste it to the boards.))