Dizzz
06-08-2009, 10:07 AM
[02:36] <@Diz> Hideously deformed space mutants who were pulled out of a elephant's ass and placed on the Lion King's head as a crown
[02:36] <@Diz> A hollowed out skull of his dead uncle with the scar
[02:37] <@Diz> Yes, our land... our world.
[02:37] <@Diz> Thats where I live
[02:37] <@Voodoo|Work> I gathered.
[02:56] <@Diz> And then the space mutants
[02:57] <@Diz> Built a giant hovercraft sponsored by Heineken
[02:57] <@Diz> They hovered to a club and it was poppin!
[02:57] <@Diz> Everybody in the club was in disbelief at the space mutants' impression of the Thriller video on the disco floor
[02:58] <@Diz> Shortly after the space mutants slaughtered all the people
[02:59] <@Diz> So THEN,
[02:59] <@Diz> Just when it seemed like it couldn't get any crazier
[02:59] <@Diz> Macaulay Culkin dropped out of one of those foam ceiling tiles
[02:59] <@Diz> And just opened fire on the space mutants, who didn't have guns but only sabers and swords
[02:59] <@Voodoo|Work> Ok ladies and gentlemen. It's the Diz show.
[03:00] <@Diz> He killed all of them JUST like the scene in Fifth Element
[03:00] * Voodoo|Work is now known as Voodoo|AFK
[03:00] * Voodoo|AFK sets mode: +v-o Voodoo|AFK Voodoo|AFK
[03:00] <@Diz> During the opera song thing
[03:00] <kr0n> What?
[03:00] <@Diz> Sorry that was bad continuity...
[03:02] <kr0n> Ah guess I'll go back to pretend working
[03:02] <@Diz> Ok here we go
[03:02] <@Diz> Sorry I had to eat a cheese on cheese cracker
[03:03] <@Diz> Ok so Macaulay figured he had to get out of the club
[03:03] <@Diz> And fast,
[03:03] <@Diz> Cuz the cops were obviously on their way to this massacre
[03:03] <@Diz> So Macaulay hijacked the hovercraft the space mutants had
[03:03] <@Diz> He barely escaped down a side street as the cops went past
[03:03] <@Diz> But!,
[03:04] <@Diz> As he kept going he ran into a alcohol check point
[03:04] <@Diz> Which was REALLY bad cuz the hovercraft was sponsored by Heineken
[03:04] <@Diz> So the cops obviously are gonna think somethings up and they spot him and realize it's the same Culkin from the crime scene at the club right
[03:05] <@Diz> Now just as the cops tell him to get out of the vehicle,
[03:05] <@Diz> David Carradine's ghost comes down out of the ether.
[03:05] <@Diz> He's in limbo see, since his spirit couldn't pass to the other world after this recent event
[03:05] <@Diz> (Commercial)
[03:08] * @Diz fade in back to David's ghost appearing before the cops
[03:08] <@Diz> Ok so Carradine's ghost summons all of his remaining strength in the spirit world to manifest as a mega Caine from Kung Fu
[03:09] <@Diz> He totally goes bonkers on the cops and instead of making a getaway in the hovercraft, Macaulay blows it up in his excitement cheering on David's ghost
[03:09] <@Diz> He accidently tossed a grenade, stuff happens in the heat of the moment
[03:10] <@Diz> So after the cops are all dispatched, Carradine's ghost turns to Macaulay and says
[03:10] <@Diz> Get this, he says to Culkin -
[03:10] <@Diz> "Are you nervous in the service?"
[03:10] <@Diz> And Culkin doesn't know what to say so he tries to blow up Carradine's ghost
[03:10] <@Diz> Which is fading quickly at this point, he doesn't have much longer in the Earth realm
[03:11] <@Diz> They rise up into the air like some Dragon Ball Z shit combined with Matrix 360 degree effects
[03:11] <@Diz> (If you have a pair of 3D glasses throw them on right now for full effect)
[03:11] <@Diz> Boom! Kapow!!!! They're throwing lightning bolts! Sleep!!! They're larping mid air
[03:11] <@Diz> Like over 9000 feet above a UPS warehouse
[03:12] <@Diz> They're punching and kicking and throwing karate shit and fireballs at each other hardcore, so hardcore right
[03:12] <@Diz> The whole scene is totally ILLING out, supreme team shit, ok so
[03:12] <@Diz> They're energies at some point become intertwined
[03:12] <@Diz> And they're going for the choke hold on one another like a bad scene of an 80s Wrestlemania
[03:13] <@Diz> And they're falling in a spiral down and down and down
[03:13] <@Diz> They crash thru the roof of the UPS warehouse and into a giant bin of those styrofoam peanuts
[03:13] <@Diz> Suddenly some guy named Carl comes by and tells them they gotta get out of the peanut bin
[03:13] <@Diz> So they stop and get out and both do a roundhouse to Carl's face, he instantly disintegrates
[03:14] <@Diz> Carls totally just, poof, gone; they resume their epic fight
[03:14] <@Diz> (Intermission)
[03:18] <Sinvin> ...
[03:19] * @Diz Carl's disintegration scene again as scene opens once more
[03:19] <@Diz> As Carl combusts into thin air,
[03:19] <@Diz> His voice calls out to Macaulay Culkin
[03:19] <@Diz> "Use the force, Luke!"
[03:20] <@Diz> Culkin begins to understand that the space mutants had passed on a special gift to him
[03:20] <@Diz> After he had killed them all and consumed their souls of course
[03:20] <@Diz> He begins to chant in tongues at David Carradine's ghost
[03:20] <@Diz> Which is really close to disappearing anyways after this fight
[03:20] <@Diz> It is pathetic really, a puny form of being by now
[03:21] <@Diz> And Macaulay casts Knights Of The Round at David Carradine's ghost
[03:21] <@Diz> Since it takes a while, Culkin went over to an IHOP and got a triple stack of blueberry pancakes
[03:21] <@Diz> After tipping well for good service and delicious food, Culkin walked back across the street into the UPS warehouse
[03:22] <@Diz> And saw that KOTR was almost finished.
[03:22] <@Diz> He played some Darkfall and said whats up to all the cool people and then had to jet to finish the fight with Carradine
[03:22] <@Diz> Carradine's ghost whispered, after a mega crit for 9999, "Can I get a little bit of those blueberry pancakes?"
[03:22] <@Diz> And Macaulay laid the SMACKDOWN hard with a backslap and replied "Fat chance!"
[03:23] <@Diz> Carradine's ghost then withered out of this world and disappeared completely from sight.
[03:23] <@Diz> (Take off your 3D glasses now)
[03:23] <@Diz> Macaulay wiped the sweat off his brow and answered his iPhone
[03:23] <@Diz> "Hello? Yes Mr. President. It's all taken care of...
[03:23] <@Diz> ...but can I keep the hovercraft? Ahahahaha..."
[03:23] <@Diz> ----
[03:24] <@Diz> The End
[02:36] <@Diz> A hollowed out skull of his dead uncle with the scar
[02:37] <@Diz> Yes, our land... our world.
[02:37] <@Diz> Thats where I live
[02:37] <@Voodoo|Work> I gathered.
[02:56] <@Diz> And then the space mutants
[02:57] <@Diz> Built a giant hovercraft sponsored by Heineken
[02:57] <@Diz> They hovered to a club and it was poppin!
[02:57] <@Diz> Everybody in the club was in disbelief at the space mutants' impression of the Thriller video on the disco floor
[02:58] <@Diz> Shortly after the space mutants slaughtered all the people
[02:59] <@Diz> So THEN,
[02:59] <@Diz> Just when it seemed like it couldn't get any crazier
[02:59] <@Diz> Macaulay Culkin dropped out of one of those foam ceiling tiles
[02:59] <@Diz> And just opened fire on the space mutants, who didn't have guns but only sabers and swords
[02:59] <@Voodoo|Work> Ok ladies and gentlemen. It's the Diz show.
[03:00] <@Diz> He killed all of them JUST like the scene in Fifth Element
[03:00] * Voodoo|Work is now known as Voodoo|AFK
[03:00] * Voodoo|AFK sets mode: +v-o Voodoo|AFK Voodoo|AFK
[03:00] <@Diz> During the opera song thing
[03:00] <kr0n> What?
[03:00] <@Diz> Sorry that was bad continuity...
[03:02] <kr0n> Ah guess I'll go back to pretend working
[03:02] <@Diz> Ok here we go
[03:02] <@Diz> Sorry I had to eat a cheese on cheese cracker
[03:03] <@Diz> Ok so Macaulay figured he had to get out of the club
[03:03] <@Diz> And fast,
[03:03] <@Diz> Cuz the cops were obviously on their way to this massacre
[03:03] <@Diz> So Macaulay hijacked the hovercraft the space mutants had
[03:03] <@Diz> He barely escaped down a side street as the cops went past
[03:03] <@Diz> But!,
[03:04] <@Diz> As he kept going he ran into a alcohol check point
[03:04] <@Diz> Which was REALLY bad cuz the hovercraft was sponsored by Heineken
[03:04] <@Diz> So the cops obviously are gonna think somethings up and they spot him and realize it's the same Culkin from the crime scene at the club right
[03:05] <@Diz> Now just as the cops tell him to get out of the vehicle,
[03:05] <@Diz> David Carradine's ghost comes down out of the ether.
[03:05] <@Diz> He's in limbo see, since his spirit couldn't pass to the other world after this recent event
[03:05] <@Diz> (Commercial)
[03:08] * @Diz fade in back to David's ghost appearing before the cops
[03:08] <@Diz> Ok so Carradine's ghost summons all of his remaining strength in the spirit world to manifest as a mega Caine from Kung Fu
[03:09] <@Diz> He totally goes bonkers on the cops and instead of making a getaway in the hovercraft, Macaulay blows it up in his excitement cheering on David's ghost
[03:09] <@Diz> He accidently tossed a grenade, stuff happens in the heat of the moment
[03:10] <@Diz> So after the cops are all dispatched, Carradine's ghost turns to Macaulay and says
[03:10] <@Diz> Get this, he says to Culkin -
[03:10] <@Diz> "Are you nervous in the service?"
[03:10] <@Diz> And Culkin doesn't know what to say so he tries to blow up Carradine's ghost
[03:10] <@Diz> Which is fading quickly at this point, he doesn't have much longer in the Earth realm
[03:11] <@Diz> They rise up into the air like some Dragon Ball Z shit combined with Matrix 360 degree effects
[03:11] <@Diz> (If you have a pair of 3D glasses throw them on right now for full effect)
[03:11] <@Diz> Boom! Kapow!!!! They're throwing lightning bolts! Sleep!!! They're larping mid air
[03:11] <@Diz> Like over 9000 feet above a UPS warehouse
[03:12] <@Diz> They're punching and kicking and throwing karate shit and fireballs at each other hardcore, so hardcore right
[03:12] <@Diz> The whole scene is totally ILLING out, supreme team shit, ok so
[03:12] <@Diz> They're energies at some point become intertwined
[03:12] <@Diz> And they're going for the choke hold on one another like a bad scene of an 80s Wrestlemania
[03:13] <@Diz> And they're falling in a spiral down and down and down
[03:13] <@Diz> They crash thru the roof of the UPS warehouse and into a giant bin of those styrofoam peanuts
[03:13] <@Diz> Suddenly some guy named Carl comes by and tells them they gotta get out of the peanut bin
[03:13] <@Diz> So they stop and get out and both do a roundhouse to Carl's face, he instantly disintegrates
[03:14] <@Diz> Carls totally just, poof, gone; they resume their epic fight
[03:14] <@Diz> (Intermission)
[03:18] <Sinvin> ...
[03:19] * @Diz Carl's disintegration scene again as scene opens once more
[03:19] <@Diz> As Carl combusts into thin air,
[03:19] <@Diz> His voice calls out to Macaulay Culkin
[03:19] <@Diz> "Use the force, Luke!"
[03:20] <@Diz> Culkin begins to understand that the space mutants had passed on a special gift to him
[03:20] <@Diz> After he had killed them all and consumed their souls of course
[03:20] <@Diz> He begins to chant in tongues at David Carradine's ghost
[03:20] <@Diz> Which is really close to disappearing anyways after this fight
[03:20] <@Diz> It is pathetic really, a puny form of being by now
[03:21] <@Diz> And Macaulay casts Knights Of The Round at David Carradine's ghost
[03:21] <@Diz> Since it takes a while, Culkin went over to an IHOP and got a triple stack of blueberry pancakes
[03:21] <@Diz> After tipping well for good service and delicious food, Culkin walked back across the street into the UPS warehouse
[03:22] <@Diz> And saw that KOTR was almost finished.
[03:22] <@Diz> He played some Darkfall and said whats up to all the cool people and then had to jet to finish the fight with Carradine
[03:22] <@Diz> Carradine's ghost whispered, after a mega crit for 9999, "Can I get a little bit of those blueberry pancakes?"
[03:22] <@Diz> And Macaulay laid the SMACKDOWN hard with a backslap and replied "Fat chance!"
[03:23] <@Diz> Carradine's ghost then withered out of this world and disappeared completely from sight.
[03:23] <@Diz> (Take off your 3D glasses now)
[03:23] <@Diz> Macaulay wiped the sweat off his brow and answered his iPhone
[03:23] <@Diz> "Hello? Yes Mr. President. It's all taken care of...
[03:23] <@Diz> ...but can I keep the hovercraft? Ahahahaha..."
[03:23] <@Diz> ----
[03:24] <@Diz> The End