the mahirim lagacy (merged)

[lok-tar-ogar]

after me and my fellow mahirim had gotten in a brawl with our ork employers a thief in our guild returned with a most pecular item a single scroll with a black dragoon on the seal it was a quest scroll from the clan of the moon beast it was indacations of one of the watchers towers...... the watcher even the very name of this power monger deathless mage made my skin jump with fear the watcher the only one in agon with the power to CORRUPT a land without the help of gods.

my fellow mercs and i haveing to leave the area of the orks that betrayed us we went to offer our "sevices" elsewhere. after two days traveling we arivved in a mahirim controled swamp we spoke to the king immediatally. offering our swords to him for a price he said he was looking for a few people who could "help" him presuade the local smith to start makeing weapons for the guild he offered us 5000 gold peices. we accepted and walked straight over to the smiths local shop. me and my 5 fellow merc's ki, max, alex, tony, and kaleb all being sucsessfull warriors except tony who was a theif and always carried explotion pots and poisoned daggers.

we started talking with the ork smith he was how do you say easy to convince of our new ideas and we gave him the kings first order and said to have it done in three days we returned to the king who was eager to pay us our just due. and immediateally gave us another assinment to kill an enamy king.

we adked for money up front this time and it was duble our last pay of 5k and we were on our way with no intentions of killing an enamy king but to take the money and go farther to our destination the tower that the scroll described.

this time we payed a mage to open a gate to the "grassy mountains" once there we couldent find out why they called it the grassy mountains there was no grass or any mountains just ash and lava as far as you could see. the land being almost totally flat we noticed that tower almost instantally we approched with caution. it wasnt a very big tower but what it lacked in size it made up for in sheer monstars we saw two flesh golems guarding the entrance we pushed on after all we were 5 very powerfull melle fighters i myself had a lightbringer that dealt unholy damage and a magic dwarven made sheild we rushed the two flesh golems they were strong but slow.

they dint get off a single hit one of them tried to swing at me but i chopped his bare arm off before he could.

once beaten we proceded inside to find a single deathless mage and his servant oger they had noticed us me and kaleb started in on the oger he was on the other hand supprisingally fast and accurate he clubed my sheild and broke it in one hit stunned for a moment i made it back on my feet in time to disarm the massive oger after that me and kaleb and his magic warhammer sliced the creature several times before it started to slow down. BACK kaleb yelled as he cleaved the oger's skull with green blood spraying out onto him. we imediatally went aftr the deathless mage which had knocked tony down.

i tried to attack the magical beast but my sword somehow managed to almost bounce off of him still inflicting a scratch i tried again at the leg as ki struck him dead in the skull with his deathmace the creature didnt go down but acted as nothing had happend to it and just pushed ki to the ground i didnt think about it at the time but ki is probobally the biggest mahirim of us all i couldent push him down.

the deathless mage soon lost two arms thx to kaleb and me and he went down after alex delivered the final blow to the chest. we found a deathless amulet on him a powerfull ingreadiant in necromancy use.

we continued up the stars to the roof we we found another deathless mage and a undead dragon. paniked we rushed in fear that we were going to become dragon chow. i went after the deathless mage alone while the others got the dragon.

my first attack was trying to knockdown the deathless mage but instead he flung me into the air like a ragdoll when i landed i somhow managed to cut off the tip of the bonney dragon tale about a foot and a half away from the tip he didnt like it but was occupied with the others.

i stood up quicklly and went after the deathless mage again this time with a quick slice to the shoulder by my lightbringer kaleb came over and i saw him trying to knockdown the deathless mage so i helped i guess with the both of us we did it smashing and crippleing his thousand year old bones in no time.

we turned our sights on the dragon just as he breathed what looked like purple fire on tony knocking him to the ground again. i swung wildlly and managed to crush the right back leg of the huge beast. Followed by another chunk of the tail i also got knocked down before the end of the hard dragon.

it ended when ki and kaleb managed to get in a his chopes at the neck. the dragon had very nice loot even for a dragon we got a dragon skull two wands 5k gold and a supply of gems to last us a while. we woke tony up and gave him a healing pot and said we are moveing on now. we continued down into a room with three skelletons they were an ez kill for 5 fighters but the amazing thing is they were guarding a clanstone.

hey guys do you know what this means we can have our own clan finally. hes right said kaleb lets claim it now. we claimed the clanstone for ourselfs binding to it. we took some money from past "jobs" and bought a LARGE guildhouse setting it right next to the tower. everyone get your freinds here quick we have our own clan now and we can gank whoever we want.

the next day we already had 15 members in the guild 10 with their own houses and 5 more are comeing in later i said to my self by the end of the day we had a ritualist's guild and a evil alingment. so what did we do then ?

we did what eny small evil guild should do we got a boat together and went pirating with 15 guildmates all of which were melle and very skilled. we had four ritualists which we had summon us a leviathen for the trip to sea after about a hour of sailing we felt somthing comeing up soon so we summoned two hell cats and three imp's after we just started to lose hope we meet another boat with ELVES our distaste for the elves threw our hatered into motin AS I YELL MAN THE BALISTEA'S everyone scrambled to there post's GET POTS RDY as we all line up getting rdy to board the vessel with one paladin a necromancer with alot of minions and a deamon NOW!!! i scream as the balisteas fire and we throw grenade potons.

killing most of the skelletons in the first wave i went after the necromancer he didnt have time to cast any spells but he had some wicked clawsthey hurt more than anything i felt before as they almost glidded and tore away flesh from my right sholder the next thing i remember is watching his head roll on the deck for a minute and running after the deamon who now had four guildsmen on it. he didnt see me comeing i ran him through with my lightbringer almost killing it but it took several more strikes from us all before we took it down.

the men killed everyone they saw and our leviathan for a rouge breakfast as we went on we had dicovered that these men should have carried ALOT more protection alough they did manage to kill 4 of my men what they were guarding was more money than i had ever seen in my life rubys and other gems stacked as tall as the bottom of the ship to half of the middle part was stacked with gold and gems we found pack muels with brand new adamantium armor and weapons very usefull for our new guildhouse we took the ship and split up the crew on too both ships we had 5 on one boat and a leviathan we had 6 and the one remaining hell cat.

we headed back to unload the gold and new equipment into the guildhouse we gave all they wanted to use to the guild i kept a special peice of diomend shaped like a scorpian i was very life like i thought i could animate item it later on i was studdying wild magic and with this kind of money we could afford to get as many peaple as we wanted and all the shops and guildhouse's we could get our hands on. i immediatally spent a good chunk of money getting the guild defenses up i build two layers of wall spread about 100 feet from eachother just this side of the flowing lava witch also made a conveinent moat of lava hehe. we looked more closelly at some of the gold a little more and some of the items we had found was another scroll leading to one of the watchers towers i sent a nise size raiding party after them. by the next day we had 20 more members and every magic school guild in the city i started to learn wild magic from other players and npc's.

a little in the afternoon the raiding party i sent after the tower came back with a map to the location of the watcher and told us of another guildstone not too far away we concured it that night and started building with our nearlly limitless supply of money we build a single wall and 5 watch towers by that night by the end of the week we had two guilds right next to eachother i let kaleb run the first one with 200,000 gold start bonus while i continued building in the new one.

in another week we had already become known for our ritualist guild's and melle power later that day i set up a meeting with kaleb and decided to follow the map to the watcher we would pre pare our troops for three days supplying them and training them before we marched on the watcher.

kaleb and i gathered the origanal 5 and talked...... about what to do about the watcher

three days waiting in a city prepareing will make u nervose but the time came soon enoph and we marched about ten clicks on mounts to the WATCHER... the watcher was the most powerfull creature in the tribelands exept mambe the cult of the moon beast.

we marched on the watchers domain he DIDN'T have a small tower and as soon as i could see past all my men inside i saw stars up me and the 5 sat and watched and dragon after golem fell before our clans feet in this god forsaken towerwe followed the stairs up about three levels too see that the watcher was dropping men left and right. JOIN THE ATTACK called kaleb i didnt see why we had 5 men on him already and another 20 on the way but i didnt argue and attacked with my lightbringer strikeing him in the head but it didnt seem to do much i circled behind it and took my time on a strong hit to the head still didnt do much dmg i went into a freenzy attack after attack i saw more men had joined the fight against the watcher and i tried to knockdown again and again but nothing it took 4 men to crush him leg. and get him to the ground.

as we knew he was dieing we didnt let up the attack atabbing and thrashing after he was even dead we atill atacked with vengance the watcher had a note on him asking him for a progress report from the cult of the moon beast themselfs i wondered what we had gotten our selves into.

we decided to expand our guild and kill a demigod no one had ever killed a demigod before

[Bensidhe]

Lok, you have to do three things .

Slow down .
Use proper punctuation .
Check your spelling .

Run on sentences, poorly constructed sentences and your spelling are killing your story bud . Its like you have had six cups of coffee and a shot of benzedrine . ;)
Slow it down man . Think about what you're typing as you go and start all sentences with Capitals . I know its a RP forum, but this hurts to read . Go back and edit as you go . I hate to tell anyone how to do basic sentence structure, but yours is pretty bad .
Slow it down , take a breath . It will be a lot easier and enjoyable to read if you do :D

[lok-tar-ogar]

as we celabrated our last victory over the watcher back at the guildhouse many of our tribesmen came to join us there hopeing to get there names in history i guess after we concured the watcher as the days of bordum passed running the guild i set up raiding party's and pirate ships. we declared war on the ork guild that had betrayed us as well as a nearby elf guild which we were very set on takeing over. i was not at the war with the guild of orks but i hear with the element of suprise and being ally's and all they went down really ez.

they diplomatically supplyed us with weapons from a local adamantium mine as so we would ally them and open a trade route with them for our quarry's for castle building. this happened when there king came to me in my guildhouse one morning begging to keep the city i allowed it i knew he reconized me from his trechery and i charged him well for it eventually i would just take his guild but not before he helped me with the elven guild that was closer to the mine.

durring this one time war we saw the destructive power that catapults and balisteas can do after seeing the battle wage for a minute we sent forth everyone except me and kaleb who stayed behind to watch the battle one mage took out 3 of our guys before he was killed i looted and burnt down the guildhouse myself i had decided that ki would run this area of the guild as to help us ambush the ork city with even more peaple flocking to us in our triblands and ork swamps we gathered more and more ppl and crushed the ork tribe with ease i controled two guild citys now and we diveded the remaning gold and gems and weapons into four parts on for each of the guild citys i bought one ork tower and two mahirim guildhouses right next to the clanstone.

i awoke one morening to find a thife hovering over me with a bottle of poison i guess he didnt like the way i rueled or was paid to do it in now time i cut off his hands and captured him. newbs shouldent be thives i thought to myself in 5 minutes he was locked in a cell to be deheaded in the morning.

this outraged me so i gathered the clans and meet with ki to help gain his support in the guildwars and i have heard rumers of a underground cave with alfar dogs in it but that was none of my concearn for i had bigger fish to fry so to speak a group of my scouts mentioned several rumors of our demigod heading twords ki's new city.

when we got there ki had confiremed our suspictions that a dmei god was heading our way he had boughten about 5 balisteas and 3 catapults for the occation and put spikes on the outter wall's i gave him some cash and told him to get the biggest watch towers we could on the front gates.

the next day i awoke to the demigod's loud and terrable howl at the moon i awoke thinking we were under attack as i grabbed my sword and ran out to the front gates to find the monster still about 250 yards away i was in aww once again at its sheer size it was bigger than ten dragons and we were supposed to kill that thing it thought ow well we have the men we can do it.

the demigod got on all fours and charged us full speed VOLLEY kelled ki. as i tried again and again to hurt him with wild lightning magic it struk him every time but his life barly went down. and now u could see his minions comeing from below the undergrowth.

FIRE THE BALISTEAS I YELLED only one hitting the giant beat hurting him but not slowing him FIRE AT WILL KI yelledass men in rows fired at the waiting swarms of the cult of the moon beast's they advanced with so many archers only a third of them made it to the front gates i was waiting outside the gates with my clan's of heavely armed melle fighters with new adamantium armor AND weapons the first wave of moon beast came with some very powerfull AOE magics i myself got a part of a fireball but we advanced and pushed through the attacking swarms of moon beast's i went straight for the mage who had hurt me with ki and kaleb we took it down in less than 30 seconds and went straight for the demigod hacking at its side and paws.

i heard it yelp as a catapult hit it dead on the nose the swarms of moon beast's were wuickally overcome with melle fighters and spellsthe demigod itsself had very much taken a beating but before the end he yelled STOP amazed that it could talk we all hesatited as he comtinued.

demigod: why do you guys kill your demigod i help you in wars i just wish things could be the way they were before the civalized world. we gave the command to stand down as we listened for a moment as he promised to march with us on the alfar god of greed and promised us to give us all our own dark and wild minions .

I gathered the kings with me to discuss this matter as the demigod sit in waiting in the town square.

the demigod would be a powerfull ally against the humans said ki i am inclined to agree said kaleb. so are we to side with the great beast and march on the enamy YES kaleb says smashing his war hammer into the table. very well

we meet with the demigod in waiting that was now fully recovered and waiting for a fight. very well i spoke to the beast but u must teach the kings your secrets of wild magic.

demigod wolf: VERY WELL BUT YOU MUST GIVE UP YOUR CITY'S AND COME WITH ME
me: your offer is accepted i said as we followed the already leaveing demigod we banked our riches and followed the demigod through a massive portal only 20 guild members were with us they didnt want to give up the easy life without war we learned all the secrets of wild magic and i was able to animate my crystal scorpian i was amazed at how tough the scorpian was it was able to kill a green dragon and it's poison damage was through the roof as i could kill a human in seconds (we feed it humans quite offten) we had in all 10 warriors including myself and the origanal three me ki and kaleb which all had wild magic thx to the overwhelming demigod's power he tought us every wild magic spell root's, fire spiral, we could at will turn ourselves into bears with three times as much life and a more powerfull attack 7 of us could cange our nature into a 6 headed beast at will.

we were confident that we would have no problem killing another demigod being stronger now than we ever would have been in civilization we trained for months untill the demigod commanded us to join him in seigeing the human capitol.

we thought it suacide at first and i thought that he wanted to kill the alfar not the humans. we marched anyways trying not to disapoint the demigods wild nature.....

by the next day we had reached the human capitol and he told us of our objective we were to punch a hole deep enoph into there capitol while he and his minions attacked another demigod servant we thought we had better transform into a 6 headed beast for this one we did and managed to get the unexpected hydra body i somhow managed to get a chimera head and a set of wings for the party we all breathed some form of fire or poison and although we had wings we couldent fly we could only push enamys back with the wind.

we attacked the main gate breaking it down in no time inside there were only scattered humans and i wondered were the guards were. as our melle fighters turned themselves into walking bears i breathed ice on the ones that didnt die imediatally we followed the demigods path of destruction into a large tower inside the main guildhouse.

in there we saw a powerfull mage as big as our 6 headed dragon/hydra our fighters and minions quicklly over threw the weak mage servents of the enamy as we fought the almost demigod enamy we saw the power and speed of our almighty wolf he was truely better a fighter than any could ever hope to become.

we breathed fire and poison and ice of the weakining mage the powerfull mage did manage to make a powerfull explotion at our demigods now mangeled right front paw as our demigod ripped the head off of the mage with his teeth we couldent image it in our head how powerfull our leader was it was a major moral boost for the troops.

the demi god ripping off his own paw only for us to watch and see that it regrew in about two minutes we saw the very fur grow before our eyes.

later that night we asked to return to our camp to try and recrute more people with our newly founded magics we were able to recrute 10 more and show them our ways we trained them as they should be being very carefull not to miss a step in the ways of wild magic it was very unpredictable.

about a week passed and the demigod called us to his chambers. we were more nervus than we had ever been in our lives but knowing that we had served the demigod's purpose we went with heads held high.

the demigod asked us to find him the set's of diomend creatures known to only be made by the lost civilization of chaldea if we did this he said he would reward us greatlly we eagerally accepted and took our new recrutes to the known location that we last saw of chaldea. the demigod said that there was 20 in all our small group all made into bears except me kaleb and ki who all had more powerfull magics by now like roots and wild fire.

we went into the chaldea ruins looting and pilageing with no respect for the lost civalization we charged into the lower levels with nothing to kill but a few chimeras and desert mummy's but we found what we were looking for this one was a dragon huge compared to the scorpian which we left with the demigods overwhelming powers once outside we meet with rob who we left in charge on the guilds in our absent.

he said that they had been tracking a small alfar and elven evil raiding group and they ment to chrush it

rob: what are you guys doing here
me:serveing our demigod what r u up to these days
rob: tracking a nice sized raiding party.
kaleb: do you know where we can find more of these (pointing to the dragon sculpture)
rob:ya i have the monkey the troll and the witch
me: really can you bring them to us we need them badlly
rob: sure i can u guys did leave me the guild right
me kaleb and ki: YES!
rob: i will return with them on the morrow with a few extra caravans you look like you could use them
me: yes thank you

the next day rob returned with the statues just as he said he would and we officially warned him that we may call upon him before long.

we traveled through to the next civilization we could find and we found some resistance this time our statues just being left untuched for the demigod could not help us we found a party of alfar hunting in the same civilization as us and IT WAS WAR we crushed the alfar them only being 5 in number i tried my new wild fire spell to find out that it was very much AOE magic and we killed them with what was this time was very powerfull bears.

we traveled into the lairs of the what look like a guildhouse 500 years old destroyed by the alfar civalization. once at the last room we carried the two new sculptsures of a giant wolf and another scorpian on the way out we meet more alfar this time a good 15 of them waiting for us to rip them apart with our massive powers i snstantally cast wild fire and roots and turned myself into a bear.

i was able to get a head shoot in one one watching it roll across the dirty cold cave floor they quickally retreated back to there guild and as i wondered about the likelyness that they would have some sculptures we decided to rush them catching up with the fleeing cowardlly alfar.

we assulted the weak city it only had 15 ppl in all mostally newbs i convinced the others to bind with me "binding" is what happenes when we turn into a several headed beast and spit fire on everything.

we assulted the main gate crushing it with little problems me and ki cast earthquake and sent one of there scout towers crumbleing down killing three inside of it the powers that the demigod has left us was truly amazing.

after the weak battle which only consisted of us rooting and bearing them to death we found 5 more new ones and another troll we found a hydra, a deamon, a golom figure statue, aweapon that looked like giant claws two of them we could not let the demigod down though and we ventured forth detroying the clan stone and looting the house's and the guild house which had a very large stash of uniqe weapons and armor we took with us from which i had taken two mahirim ghost claws i figured they could dual weild and i was a powerfull melle fighter despite my recent magic.

we taveled to another location the last one we hoped we needed to conquer we marched for what might of been a month on this tiering quest we needed only 4 more statues for the demigod to reward us we easaly accuired them from rob back at the old guild and told him of the alfar guild that he could now take over with eez

we returned to the demigods cave to find he was very pleased with us and tought us even more magic and gave us streangth. he tought us of the ways of ritual magic and we could suddenlly rais dead without even trying i gave up my warrior knowing that i could do better as a wild magic necromancer/ritualist i always did keep the claws from that point on though on day the demigod called us to his chambers once again to help us with his powers in reanimating the crystal figures.

ki being a fellow ritualist help me and the demigod the statues grew taller and stronger and became alive as hegave us our next task....

[Komako]

Your writing would be great if it was punctated correctly.

/subtlehint

[lok-tar-ogar]

we sat and chanted as the demigod worked his magics on the lifeless statues that became more powerfull and stronger untill the demigod howled at the moon to gain power from the gods leen and neith as he did the crystal figures started to move and become alive he howled again as we all threw reagents and more powerfull casting's at the now glowing crystals untill finally they became alive even the claws had a lifelike touch to them they also seemed to glide through the demigod's victims.

he gave us our next assignment to attack a fellow demigod the lutenate of the alfar god mellek who had servents of his own and was on the verge of makeing war on the entire agon homeworld.

i guess that is why they called him the god of war nagast it was a full moon that night the blue moon just inside of the red one.

we marched to the demigod on the nagast homelands through a portal we had all become aware of the situation and turned ourselves into liches to increase our magic and let free rain come swiftlly over the alfar continent untill we found him in a almost deserted cave.

he sat for a moment only to speak with our demigod momentaraly

alfar demigod: i see you brought freinds that wasnt what the god's were expecting of you beast

mahirim demigod: I HAVE COME TO CRUSH YOUR EXISTANCE FROM THIS PLAIN MORTAL

alfar: its not going to be that easy wolf boy

the alfar demigod cast forth spiders millions of them from the cave walls as me and the party cast aoe spells like wild fire and me and ki summoned a greater deamon to help with the demigod our crystal figures were very effective against the demigod and the claws that were longer than you would expect to see was able to destroy the bald demigods cutlass but he retaliated with a type of magic i never saw before i knocked the giant wolf to the ground he quicklly got back up and started clawing and biteing screaming YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR NATURES WRATH.

me and ki summoned another greater deamon and started to reanimate as many of the dead spiders as we could and giveing poison buffs to our men. we were makeing leway on the spiders they were many but we were stronger by much as i continued attacking the giant spiders on the floor and before i could cast again one of them had poisoned me i stabed it right in the eyes with my claws but started to feel wozzy as i tried to drink a antadont potion and hoped that i would be ok just then the spiders dispersed and we rushed to help our demigods attacks as i continued to reanamate and launch wave of wave after the demigod who was soon overtaken and mobed with the help of the moon beast.

he did not by any means go down easally in fact he almost had us when he had summoned some inferno's to take on the crystal statues but we were skilled and the inferno's got cought up in the mob.

as i stood in the adrenalin boosted state of shock that we just killed a demigod and we were richer than we would ever be again in our lives. untill we marched on the goddes's hall but that is far from now. and a different tale the moon beast howled with the blood of the hunt on his fur. we looted the fallen demigod with haste and ki grabbed what looked like a quest scroll to kill our demigod we gave it to him as he was already dead.

the war on the gods had begun with us serving the mahirim culture we would go down in history for this as we began to march to our next destination as the demigod commanded us to he rewarded his followers with showers of gold and jewls and a spell called soul sucker that made us stronger in our magics we were gratfull and followed the demigods power wereever we were sent sometimes killing towns that got too big beliveing we should still be in the wild the time came when i spoke with the demigod alone he was wide eyed and in a monsterus rage saying that the elves had tried to take the tower sacred to our peaple and that they must pay for such trechary and defiance i gathered the troops saying we were marching on the elven city of charybdis were we would meet the elven gods mithry and lorthi the distant elven gods GODS not demigods we were joined by the civalitaztion that rob had put together he said that the elves had grown trubblesome and annoying to his guild in exchange we would help him conqure a vast society that he wanted to claim for him own.

we agreed only becouse of the demigods rage and hate of the elven race and rob had made a mighty society out of the scattered mahirim tribelands we assulted the two citys he had wanted us too and he was amazed that the power we had gotten from our demigod was real i asked him to join with us and leave the society he was building he was reluctant but he agreed with no major problems we gave him the task of collecting mroe statues and giveing them to us before we marched on the elven capitol our biggest assignment yet mithry and lean the two demigods of unimaginable power and strength. they were apearing once in a thousand years we could NOT MESS THIS UP rob called the clans forth mahirim and ork alike to march with us on the elven capitol or demigod raged more as he saw orks with us in the assult but mentoned it no further once we showed him how many hundreads had come.

the orks were on the front lines being the most powerfull melle creatures in the game they slashed and knockdown peasents and slaves as we easaly made it to the tower containing the gods which were being worshiped as we entered. ALL BUT ONE WARSHIPER STAYED TO FIGHT we were anxius to see the power of our demigod once again but instead got a lesson in just how powerfull GODS were they swung not even hitting us flew us into the air by the tens and twenty's me ki and three other ritualists managed to slow one of them useing powerfull ritual magic we had learned in the months past we held the two gods down momentaraly as our wolf demigod knawed at one of there necks killing it heartbroken the god stood still getting attacked for only a moment before LASHING OUT IN A TERRABLE RAGE. killing almost unstopableme and ki and the three others decided to summon a few deamons in order to help hurt the demigods rampage we summoned elder deamons with wings that flew over the demigods head SPEARING and stabbing at his face but the god did not slow down untill our demigod finished killing the other and started in on lieth the male god his rampage only slowed from a bite on the arm our demigod was thrown to the wall quicklly recovering and biteing a leg.

this is our chance now I YELLED going for the foot and legs of the demigod with powerfull magic and arrows.... so many arrows the demigod fell to his hands being hurt he cried out for his lovers hand but she was dead

demigod: STOP let him speak

we stoped attacking the god as our demigod held him down with one paw and said WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LEITH YOU DISPEARED INTO THE DEAMON REALM i have come back to tell my peaple of the deamons power we couldent stop them please spare me

demigod: no he said snapping the gods neck with his powerfull jaws

in the aftermath rob had returned with all 18 of the 20 crystals saying ow man im too late is there any loot left

yes i awnsered but we need to go now as i animated the crystals and headed for the door WAIT said the demigod drinking the elven gods blood.... he grew bigger i thought as he tossed a scroll in my lap we must kill the council of the eight i sent 20 orks to go and kill them

the demigod said follow me as he opened a portal ONLY YOU AND YOUR FEINDS me kaleb and ki went into the ortal to leave the others for cleanup we couldent belive it we were in the realm of the halls of the goddess keep up said the demigod us trying to carry all we could from the last raid we gave slot of it to the crystal monsters.

the demigod approched the goddess and started to speak.

demigod: i demand that you give me the word stones
goddess: do you think that you and your three minions are in a position to demand ANYTHING!!
demigod: i have the crystal warriors and you wouldent dare fight them who has it also
goddess: you will have to kill me for them
demigod: as you wish

the demigod lunged for the goddess and bite her right on the left hand as he landed the heavens themselfs begain to shake and the crystal fighters attacked with such damage as i have never seen before as me and ki tried to summon a elder deamon. becouse of the panic we summoned two and they flew to the goddess and attacked her immessially.

the goddes moaned in pain but casted a holy light that shoot through our demigods chest we waited for him to maon or yellp but he never did again he just attacked like a wild anamal attacks a human then he stoped and summoned the crystal fighters to him howling with a tase of the godesses blood the crystal figures surronded him and made a type of armor as ours still attacked and hurt the goddess the demigod lunged forward slashing and biteing at the now weakining goddess with diomend fangs and claws he managed to simply deflect the goddess attacks as we ravadged her.

we attacked with the most powerfull spells we could as we were cought up in this uber war that seemend almost out of our control untill we delivered the final blow to the dieing goddess with the demigods tradition and likeing he drank the goddes's blood and grew stronger and stronger yet THERE IS ONLY THREE OF THEM YOU WENCH he screamed at the dead body no matter i know who has another one the demigod laphed and opened a prtal back home.

we took an oath not to tell anyone about what the demigod had done but it was short lived and as the word grew and spead like wild magic itself we were said by oath to guard the demigod while he laid low in his cave untill a group of self ritghus humans tried to assult the caves one day.

they made a good effort but with the help of the demigod they were quicklly slain and we were granted the right to change civiliztion as we knew it he gave us a chice between being civilized and campaining against the other races or being wild once again like our breathren of old.

the old breathren held there land with a iron fist and expanded the terratory. before we decided we would have to become druids of the land and if we did decide to go the way of the land we would have to destroy our cival citys and live in the pack once again.

we decided to live the way of the land like our heathen brethren of old as we went through to civilization and city destroying both ours and the humans to prove our loyalty and devotion to the demigod now nicknamed the destroyer as city and city of ours fell they eventually went with the idea of wild roaming throughout the tribelands.

all gave into it and we dominated several human citys as they fell before our feet burning one after another some with and some without the help of the demigod destroyer.

we marched on and on trying to collect the word stones when word had popped up that the humans had one in thier capitol city hiddin in the guildhouse we went to the capitol aqired the word stone and as our demigod became more and more fearfull of the powers riseing to be we summoned me kaleb and ki kaleb had seen the power of the ritual magic and took it up as we gathered in the waiting presance that was now common for the demigod.

he summoned to him the god of the moon neith who told him to detroy the cult of the red moon and send our peaples back into the domain were we would be the strongest.

and so we went into history as we gave the tribelands back their true selfs again we even managed to convert several orks to the old ways and we went deeper and deeper into the magical arts on wild and ritual magic we were aproched by leen the god of the blue moon in the demigods lair the female mahirim gave unto us the right to hold the dwarven aliance in check and a powerfull tower to conduct our magics.

we accepted greatlly as we went to secure and build our now wild homeland by the tower of all things. the towers magic was UNREAL a single ritualist could summon a lesser deamon with help only of a few reagents and a pentogram we lay in quiet building our great magic reserch and learned how to call forth the very gods themselfs who rewarded us with a unknown spell into the wild magic school it was called summon sacred we eventually learned how to summon and bend this sacred to our will but carefully for they were very strong and one misstep in the summoning ritual and we would have to kill it. one time a sacred even managed to take over the tower for one full hour before we mustered enoph magic to despell him we were givven rain over our nice little chunk of agon as word of our fame grew being the ones who helped slay the goddess herself.

one day a group of adventurers came to us wishing to join in our ranks we normally dont accept scrappers but they gave us a word stone to do with what we will so we accepted.

offering the word stone to the god's nieth and leen we joined them in the ritual... to end all civalization as we know it

[Bensidhe]

I already mentioned that to him Komako and I don't see any attempts to improve upon it . Internet ettiquette aside , its like he's wired on Bennies, or doesn't have a clue how to properly punctuate his writing . As of now its all meaningless spam . I really don't think it has a place on these boards ./hint /hint. ;)

[Bensidhe]

Lok-tar-ogar ,you're done , right ? What I get from this is your story idea is good, but the execution is horrible .

Learn to spell.
Learn sentence structure.
Learn punctuation .
Learn proper ways to continue a story .
Gramatically as well, these pieces are hard to read .
If you're going to do it, do it right.

I like a good story of the RP genre as much as anyone but to date I haven't seen anything this bad in so many ways except from someone whom is very young . Take what everyone tells you here to heart and apply it and it will look and read a hell of a lot better . If you keep this up someone or a number of people will prolly flame your stuff to death . Not very constructive, but this is DFO and thats as tough an audience as you're likely to get .

[lok-tar-ogar]

at this time i was in the control of the demigod destroyer untill leen and nieth noticed my power and leadership and moved me into the far lands in a magical tower.

i later build a small society around it to help defend it from attackers who might stray into our land being rich by now i build a great society for those who still needed it and we practiced and studied our several magics in the dark tower and even learned to call forth the gods themselfs to aid us in our fight against the world and we were joined by orks who wished to join our cause and elliminate the aliance.

one morning i was awoke and beckoned to the gods neith and leen they told me to have security tomorrow buz they were haveing "freinds" to the tower and to be ready for anything.

i couldent sleep knowing that we may miss out on somthing or even worse being under attack by morning. i awoke ki and kaleb and told them to prepare for battle. we didnt know how soon the gods may call for us so we awoke some orks and a few clan members and told them to prepare with the ranks of captains and generals to help prepare them for war.

the three of us wasted no time immediateally summining sacreds and deamons to our couse by noon we had 3 sacreds and 4 elder deamons we slowed down thinking we had some time yet. we summoned imps and hell cats. we accually ran out of reagents by 1:30 but it was quite worth it i sent kaleb and ki to fetch more reagents and to buy two balistea's just in case things got ugly.

they returned a hour later with more than 8 balisteas and two catapults we gave them to the orks to practice with before the battle and we mounted some of them on the roof of the guildhouse. we summoned alot more and even managed to get a few uniqe creatures with our new magic we got a thrall not very strong but nearly impossable to kill since we were only a little ways from the lake of fire we summoned some fire ellementals and we had to rest we were worn out of summoning and it drains a mage like no other we gave one hour rest and prepared the troops in lines and set 3 catapults in the lines with the men in what we came to call "the god room" we waited not moveing for ten minutes untill the gods awoke and were supprised by our dedacation and commitment to there reason's me kaleb and ki were there personal escorts all day about a hour into our shift after the gods "hunting" for beakfast we followed him into the god room were a portal opened.

the alfar god mellek steped out of it.

i was in aww once again as they started of talks of peace and evil against the humans. they were each of them going to attack as far as they could into the human capitol just to break the fragille alliance between the dwarven and elf and yes even humans.

the orders were given and i was to lead the troops against the humans. when the day came to pass our lords opened up a portal to the alfar civelization we were to kill the human capitol just to prove the strength the the evil aliance. what the alfar didnt know was i had orders to kill mellek after the battle stoped.

through the portal must have been 500 alfar willing to give there lives for mellek.

we summoned in preporation on this day of madness in total 12 elder deamons, 6 sacred's, and more than 50 of each lesser summon we could think of imp skelleton ect..

the alfar was the first wave of attackers in the city they must have known about us before we came cuz there was elven archers and dwarven melle fighters in the inital attack waves of alfar died but many had made it to the dwarven lines and started killing and pillageing the unguarded houses.

the alfar were not alone in this fight as i rushed with my minnions and fellow mahirim and orks. we slowlly beat back there defenses and made our way into the city with the masses as we started to win and the alfar went into the other side of the city NOW the god leen commanded as she snaped at the alfar god screaming I KNEW IT TRECHORUS DOG'S.

instantally i sent all minions after the god to show him the wrath of the tribelands me and ki blinded him witch fire spiral and holy beam a spell we had picked up out of wild magic about a week before in our studies of magic.

the two wolf god's attacked the alfar king god mellek mellek swinging wildlly at the flying deamons i sent at him the gods took there time they knew mellek was no fool and waited till they had him cornered to make their attack.

the battle raged for two minutes before we managed to root him into the ground by the ankels with our very proficiant wild magic he ripped through them time and time again but as soon as he couldent move anymore back. his feet were still for a second and we saw this chance.

we commanded roots from the very earth itself to come forth and bind him they continued up to his waist before he stoped trying to get away and just fight but it was too late. the two wolf god's cornered him pouncing on him to the ground were we quicklly subdied him with roots even the gods themselves wanted him alive so we stoped to turn on the rest of the alfar that had now almost been eliminated from the aliance.

when we got back to the tower of all things the gods hit and tourtured the alfar god mallek drilling him for imformation on the three remaining word stones but he was strong and didnt speak he knew that his alfar freinds would come to him. i charged kaleb with makeing more defenses for the city we had almost unlimited gold and jewels kaleb did a nice job so far while me and ki held down the mellek king with our roots and nature magic with some other guild mates.

it was three days before the alfar came to us in hopes of retreaving there fallen king. kaleb had did well on the city's defenses as we looked we had several new watch towers and 1 new guildhouse the otter walls had been reinforced with balisteas and war tanks or at least thats what i called them they were accually more of a mobile caravan than anything else we had 5 of them in all we decided to wait for the assult hold them at the outter walls and send war tanks into the masses i volunteered to go in one myself and leave the minions at the front.

but we were going to need more i told kaleb at dawn of the first day.

the next day i awoke to kaleb training the troops and buying all the finest weaponry and armor in the land i went to see the progress of the two sentiant gods to find that they had knocked mellek down and he wasnt moveing he wasnt dead but definintally down and out.

i helped train the troops with kaleb in the ways and teachings of wild magic and some of the finner points of melle combat. at the end of the day we had 10 more war tanks and four more towwars at the front gate two on the outside and two lesser ones on the inside.

on the thired day i sat and prepared some explotion pots and burning oil for the occasion the alarm sounded at two o clock just when i finished with two pots of oil and all the pots for archers on the front to use along with the orks below as melle fighters.

at 2:30 the attack commensed they hit us hard in the first wave they broke down the gate and had army's of necromancy creatures.

i wasted no time and tipped over one of the oil pots and threw three pots and the leeming crown of alfar aat our front gates i tiped over the other oil and cast roots on one guy near the entrance but had no time to waste as i threw a explotion pot almost blindly i ran to get into the war tanks with some orks i grabbed two boxxes of pots to go with us on the open ended caravan we loaded two horses on ours and waited for them to break through our lines we didnt have to wait very long as they were soon in the city and we took off on 15 war tanks into the crowed of alfar trampleing them and bringing the minions to the front lines.

we were out the gate throwing pot after pot and even fighting and casting off of the wagon i was ammazed at how well horses could trample .

one alfar got off a lucky shoot and destroyed two of the caravans with a fireball we headed for their archers knowing we could kill them easyer we rooted whoever we thought might be a powerfull theat to us and picked them off with pots and melle fighters of our own.

we soon ran out of pots so i equiped my claws and started in on them going by very fast we had lost three more caravans but the destruction of the wagons was unmatched as we headed for more mages and archershitting one person every time i attacked and casting what AOE magic i could. we had made it entirelly accross their lines we turned around to go back into the city and we saw more alfar than ever still aproching we quickally trampled our way back into the city and manned the balisteas and catapults as best as we could.

they made very good for AOE effect and we soon cleared up inside the city and held them at the wall. seeing the massacre and brutality of the incomeing alfar almost made me sick but only for a moment as they were bringing in the towers to overcome our walls.

they came in with 6 towers in all which was alot even for a army this big the towers were being pulled by unicorns and pushed by peaple as soon as they got near i told everyone to arm with pots for the incomeing towersas soon as the door swung down i yelled fire as the potions flew catching the whole tower on fire.

leaveing my allyes to keep killing with the archers i went to fight against a tower that had made it past me just to the left of the last. i ran at the tower seeing it already pour men out of it's narrow walkway.

i swung with the might that i had gotten throughout the time and droped one after another after another but one of the ones i killed managed to get me once in the hip with a katanna it was ok i had learned to fight thrugh pain as many others have done and we fought off the incomeing tower with rows of vollys and pots.

i returned to man the bealistea that noone cared to while i was gone. as i saw more and more alfar waves approching i fired again and again near to the gate of the city but only for a moment as there was another tower comeing my way as quicklly as i could i tied a thick rope around the bealistea and fired at the incomeing towertieing it to some rocks we used for catapults i yelled PUSH as several others came to help me push the rocks off of the edge. once we did i saw the tower i shoot with the belistea fall like a stone as the rope pulled the tower sideways crushing 50 alfar in the process but we had no time to waste continuing to focus our main fire on the main gate were the orks were still fighting the alfar.

as time passed the first day of waar had passed and the second was just around the corner. i went to the gods domain later to find that mellek had given them two of the remaining three wordstones... mellek was dead and once again we went down in history but at what cost....

the next day the fighting continued we bolstered our numbers somthing the alfar couldnot do but this time they came prepared and so did we summoning even more than before and learning a spell called flame wave from our god we tought it to ever mage in town and told them to hold the walls. when the battle started they fired there own catapults into the city and destroying some houses the wall held as we cast our new found spell we found it hurt WAVES of men at a time at one point in the battle anything past our front gates looked like a ocean of fire as tall as the guild walls we had no problems for the first hour even though they sent towers and catapults closer only to get destroyed by the river of fire outside the tower of all things.

after a while they came at us with fire buffs so we started to raise a army from our necromantic powers we had a small army as soon as the flame waves stoped.

but skelletons are only good in pairs of archer and melle so we raised as many of both as we could me and ki that is i havent seen kaleb yet today i assumed he was off in one of the towers as me and ki and several others made armys of our own to hold the alfar back the alfar began to turn some of the skelletons against us they slowly started to backk off of the gates seeing there losses me and ki and the necromancers guild we had in the city went to town and decided to march against the alfar this night.

as we marched with our army's of darkness for the suprise attack we brought only a few trusted rouges and 3 personal guards with us and our armys of flesh golems and skeelletons of course we lead the attack with alfar reanimations and rouges as so we wouldent ruin the suprise.

as they killed off more and more i started to wonder if the alarm was going to sound i didnt wait to find out we charged with our army there was tents as far as you could see but with very little guards and a big hole in the middle on the tents. we came as a thife in the night. the alarm didnt sound untill we were halfway to the big hole in the ground.

we were almost there by the time they put up any kind of fight at all i started casting tidal wave to flood the poor alfar underground.

i turned to see the orks comeing to our aid in a second wave this was very nice.

i cast tidal wive against the hole to flood it it only took three spells to flood the hole and alfar start to crawl out of the watter the orks and the swarm still had leaverage in numbers on the front lines of alfar camp grounds but more alfar were comeing i decided to FRY anyone who wanted to come out of the hole and not just drowned like a good little bitch.

the battle waged for well over a hour before we retreated back to our town knowing we got the best of them. we only had two casualties and a butload of skelletons gone by the next morning a messanger came to speak of peace waveing a white flag of truce.

a messanger called forth and was talking of peace with the mahirim once more he asked if he could speak with our god i refused his offer and threatened him with talk of another massacre at break of dawn when the alfar are there weakest.

he quicklly knew we had the upper hand in combat knowing we had secured the city. we ended up with a stand down of arms as we watched the alfar army wither out of sight.

among the reckage and death of the battlefeild a word stone was discovered the last one we needed for our god.

we showed the gods leen and neith who were very pleased with us and made me ki and kaleb luteniats in his race warfare. we watched as the gods even the demigod destroyer came to the aid of the gods when we called forth ourselfs leaders of the religeon me and the rest were honered to find that the stones could lead us to the god's homeworld of noga. we watched as the gods leen a neith soncured and destroyed the alfar and human races with the power of the word stones.

we watched our gods take the throne of power for themselfs.

[Phooey]

All of the seperated threads are merged in to one thread. There's no reason to have a seperate thread for each section of your story.

[lok-tar-ogar]

it only allow's 15000 charicters per post so yes there is a reason 3 of my above posts i had to shorten

[Bensidhe]

Can you shorten them even more ? Try using a Thesaurus and dictionary once in awhile to cut down on the wordage ? You know what those are, right? :rolleyes:

[lok-tar-ogar]

it is pretty much apocalyptic so i cant really shorten them too much and the spelling is from me either smokeing too much pot when i write it or from just being too tired of writeing

[Bensidhe]

A) Quit smoking the weed .
b) Lay off the goddamn coffee .
c)If you're that tired, don't write .PLEASE .
d) Your "writing style" as it is mirrors the L337 kiddie style that everyone thinks is cool . Its not . Its a grammatical and literary nightmare . It takes up a hell of a lot of space and is better suited for nights at PnP D&D games, seriously .

e) Far be from me to curtail your creative urges, as an artist you learn to do one of three things . Get better at it, or leave it the fuck alone, or get laid and do your girlfriend until things make better sense .

f) These forums do serve a purpose and although a ton of what happens on here is bullshit at the best of times, making non-sensical storys that ramble on forever in your particular style is painful .

g) Why the hell do I care ? Who the hell am I ? No one really but if you take a look at how many people actually view or give feedback here you do not have a huge audience . Take a writing course or two if you're that into it . You will be surprised at what it does for creating stories . J.K. Rowling you're not .

[Oben]

A) Quit smoking the weed .
b) Lay off the goddamn coffee .
c)If you're that tired, don't write .PLEASE .
d) Your "writing style" as it is mirrors the L337 kiddie style that everyone thinks is cool . Its not . Its a grammatical and literary nightmare . It takes up a hell of a lot of space and is better suited for nights at PnP D&D games, seriously .

e) Far be from me to curtail your creative urges, as an artist you learn to do one of three things . Get better at it, or leave it the fuck alone, or get laid and do your girlfriend until things make better sense .

f) These forums do serve a purpose and although a ton of what happens on here is bullshit at the best of times, making non-sensical storys that ramble on forever in your particular style is painful .

g) Why the hell do I care ? Who the hell am I ? No one really but if you take a look at how many people actually view or give feedback here you do not have a huge audience . Take a writing course or two if you're that into it . You will be surprised at what it does for creating stories . J.K. Rowling you're not .

I second this. If you WERE an artist, you'd learn. Obviously you have not, keep posting like this and soon you'll be elected one of the worst roleplayers in history. I DON'T CARE IF YOU SMOKE WEED WHOOPIDEE DOOO. That doesn't stop you from spell checking and editing, writing is composed of many parts, brainstorming, writing, and EDITING. I haven't even bothered to read your story just because of the improper use of such a simple thing as Capitolization.

[RavenLord]

hm mm..trying to read these stories has been a nightmare. I

[Bmac]

[QUOTE=RavenLord]hm mm..trying to read these stories has been a nightmare. I

[Oben]

You HAVE to read it. This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read. Don't try to read and comprehend the story, look at the structure and grammer. Top quality.

Wow, I just read the first sentence (I'm guessing it's the first sentence, there is no punctuation!!!) and... WOW that's too funny.

"after me and my fellow mahirim"

How old are you? When I was in elementary school, this was beaten in to our tiny little heads about MY FELLOW AND I. My sister and I went to the store. Not: Me and my sister went to the store. Get it?

[Stark]

I can't believe you guys are taking him seriously.

[Bensidhe]

We're not, but IMO we are as a group very serious about good RP writing and dear god , I haven't seen anything like this since I was in grade school many years ago . The end result being the teacher taking said literary wonder and tearing it up and putting it in the garbage can . The official addmonishment was basically, its crap, do it again and do it right or tell me now so I can give it a F .
Since this isn't a school ( except one of hard knocks) then I can only give so much advice on how to correct the problem. I expect the community will take things in hand though and it won't be pretty . :rolleyes:

[lok-tar-ogar]

hey you try to type THAT MUCH and check your spelling and grammer